Monthly Archives: January 2015

Clarification on Indianapolis in the program to make Brielle is called Duxbury

I got a few messages after my rant yesterday, so I thought I would at least try and set the record straight. When I went to Indianapolis four years ago at the circle downtown they had a light in particular that had eight countdown for sighted people, hands for deaf people, but no audio. someone my friend Jonathan mentioned to me that there are a few lights downtown with audible signal is now maybe thats The case now. I don’t remember any when I was down therefore the Super Bowl or the Kentucky game recently. i’m going next month so maybe I will do some research.

Another person asked me well maybe the government doesn’t provide braille because it would be expensive. Or they would have to have an expert. Well not to sound rude but there is a computer program called Duxbery which with little computer knowledge you can at least make grade one braille. i’m tired of the status quo where lobbyists keep delaying technology improvements for blind people in the realm of television, and other forms of entertainment. for the first time ever last week Walmart finally jumped on board with a talking prescription program which is not offered everywhere unbelievable right? And 2014 we are finally just now getting some sort of prescription reading device that has tags that will tell you what prescription you’re taking. I try to be patient but yesterday when I organization that explicitly has hired to drive disabled people around that is their job their paid for when they failed to do even the minimum or know the minimum it just irritates me.


Where does your dog go does she go in the trunk?

That question is how I started my day. Seriously! yellow Cab here contracts with our para transit system to take people with disabilities door to door. some yellow cab drivers only drive for the para transit system because they make more money doing that then they would on fares. I just think to myself all the times I get question how I’m going to do something or people doubt me what he just negative connotation yet this person agrees to a contract where they drive people with disabilities and he has to ask if my dog is going to ride in the trunk? I don’t know what I want from the world or what I even expect, but what pisses me off and continues to piss me off is that blind people are so misrepresented. You look at the deaf culture they have things in place caption TV fuck they even get caption on Netflix. Downtown Indianapolis they have signs that tell them went to walk but yet no audible signal. seriously this is what makes me question what the fuck are organizations that represent us are doing? also why I don’t belong to either of them. I understand they’re going to be dumb people, but this is happening on the daily and I’m tired of it. I walk my dog around the car open the door and she laid on my feet like she is supposed to. listen I understand the deaf culture is way different because they have site, but they also have representation that isn’t split. they work to get things done where blind people can’t even decide whether or not current sea should be be distinguishable by touch. something in the 90s the national Federation for the blind fog for predominately. Then in the new millennium the American Council for the blind started fighting for it and the national Federation for the blind switch their viewpoint. The national Federation for the blind even went as far as influencing lawmakers to strike down the deal and 2005. Maybe six. Saying that blind people really didn’t care about accessible currency. went 10 years ago they stood on the other side of fighting for it. fuck them both. i’m a little pissed today.

When I was in high school with Dick Simons discriminating on me I called the national Federation for the blind and they completely ignored my case and me. I did what I had to do and got through the issue but it would’ve been nice to have some support. I guess they didn’t see the money in it. skipped over 10 years I’ve been promised Accessable TV still not here. I try to pay my house loan online which is something I’m fighting for because apparently no other blind people in Kentucky have a goddamn house. you have to get by captcha and they don’t have an audio capture which is a government website which completely ignores ADA law. I complained about it to a friend who mentioned it to somebody else and then the Americans with disability is person for Kentucky got on it supposedly next month I will be able to finally pay my house loan for the first time independently without having to call someone welcome to the new century. I just don’t understand. I guess maybe that really never has affected anyone who knows it’s just ludicrous.

I’m going to work on not cussing so much it’s a work in progress. I just sometimes get so angry that things don’t change. You look at the landscape of blind people more of us were getting educated but what good is it? are there more jobs opening up? It doesn’t seem like it. I’m sure a little this is a little blind anger I’m facing from being rejected the other day but seriously. Do you know the federal government can send out different documentations in different languages, but yet don’t offer braille at all. I wonder why that is? you can’t somehow pay a contractor to write braille notifications, or find a braille printer somewhere? for chrissakes Verizon can get me a braille cell phone bill but the federal government and Medicare can’t seem to braille out things for people who are blind? it just doesn’t make sense. Verizon my not do an actual phone bill but they did offer me a manual ones for a phone which is still better than anything the government ever offered. Furthermore any chain restaurant that has more than a certain amount of locations should be required to carry a braille menu. thankfully most I can find online but there still is that rare occasion. It’s just so much work I’ve often said sighted people have it so great you were told when to walk pretty much do anything in life and yet I still see some of you getting hit by cars. Baffling.

I don’t really know what happened today

This should probably remind you a little bit of the older posts. let me just start with the current and then I’ll work my way backwards. I was supposed to have a date, but about 30 minutes before I went I texted her to see what she was doing and to make sure everything is still good. What we had a little conversation and lo and behold I ended up not going. she said at one point and her text message that she wasn’t comfortable going out with someone who couldn’t make eye contact with her. my exact response was well nothings changed since the first time I met you so I still can’t make eye contact After that I just stopped responding. I ordered a pizza and demolished it and now I feel sick.

Today I met a very nice Lyft Driver while I was picking up Robin from Petsmart. Her bath went well. I used our para transit system to get there and then Lyft to get home so I didn’t have to stand around so long. I apparently standing around wait too long though because five people asked me if I had a ride and I said yes. I thought it was nice of people to care though. So anyway I get into the ride and I wasn’t sure how it was going to go you never know with the dog. His name is Tim from South Carolina and he asked me how I became blind so I told him about my cancer. then he said I was positive and proceeded to tell me that while I was getting into the car about five people gathered behind me open mouth amazed that I was getting into a car. I told him my view on that where it’s either I’m Superman or handicapped there’s not much in between I still go by that. If you miss those discussions check the earlier writings. I think there are very few people who break down the barriers. I read an article earlier this week about touchscreen devices where the author of the article did no research and her first paragraph this was on the wire by the way and her first paragraph she states one sector of the population Who are left out in the cold from using touchscreens are the blind. I know I use dictation a lot but it’s because I’m lazy I could type on the touchscreen and I use them every day. furthermore if she would actually pole blind people or have asked one person rather than probably depending on the sighted person she referenced in the article she would’ve found that a high percentage of blind people use a touchscreen device. Anyway I just thought it was interesting he noticed how people stood around Gawking.

Earlier today I posted a Facebook article about parents having to provide their children’s passwords to the schools and Illinois. at first I was pretty upset by this, and I just pondered where our freedoms went? then I went to the gun range and had a moment of clarity. literally there sometimes I have brilliance and I go on rants and get worked up and then I wonder why what is it for? initially I was on the side of the parents and wonder why this was happening? Then it came to me so quickly it was shocking. Who gets blamed more than anything in the case of bowling or any issues that don’t happen in the home? That simple the school. when someone gets bullied and you watch the news I guarantee you 95% of the time it falls back on to the school. not the asshole child or the parents home situation nothing else gets brought up but how the teachers or someone at school neglected the situation. so my final thought on this is you get what you deserve parents if you’re going to blame the school don’t bitch when they start impeding on freedom. I don’t have kids so it doesn’t fucking matter to me. hahaha my final thought on the whole issue is freedom is really A disguise we like to pretend we still have. I’ve been listening to this podcast called criminal where this guy was jailed for three months because he appeared on a video tape they had and a sex offender case. i’m not going to be good at explaining the case so you may want to listen because I probably won’t do it justice but in a nutshell. The guy they arrested the innocent one met a girl online who is the sex offenders wife he had videotaped rolling in his house police seized the videotapes finding this guy they posted his picture on the news thinking he was guilty of the crimes. The guy lost his job spent three months in jail and says that people still acted nervous around him. yet we’re supposed to be innocent until proven guilty you could go more high-profile if you wanted and find similar cases but really the freedoms we have sometimes our a disguise. Even when you pay the time for a crime it’s often not forgotten or wiped off your record just my thoughts for the day. I had a lot of clarity shooting that gun didn’t I?

When I dropped off Robin and came home for a second I realized how lonely I am without her. I kept stepping on the pig and she didn’t come, or when we were driving to the gun range I kept looking on the floor for her and just felt my cane. I used to think that after she retired I would just be able to move on to the next dog, but I’m not sure anymore. I started reflecting on how much of my life she’s been part of and it was crazy. She’s been here for Ethan’s wedding baseball games, movies, jobs, football games, basketball games, my ups and downs, and just everywhere I’ve been. It’s crazy when you think about it I think of her as like a daughter it’s different than a pet. most people don’t take their pet on a plane to Arizona navigate their bus system get lost for a little while find your way those stories just aren’t there but Robin’s part of everyone for me. And the last hour I’ve been reflecting on that it’s been a little somber tonight.

Robin playing in the snow and rest in peace Ernie Banks

Whenever something like this happens I reminisce, because I guess that’s all you can do. Mr. Cub Ernie Banks passed away earlier. I started listening to cubs games on the radio in 1998. I fell in love with an announcer named Ron Santo for a few reasons. Ron play the game with juvenile diabetes never reporting it to anyone for fear he would not be able to play. he later announced with artificial legs and had to go to the doctor before each game to check levels he made it to most everyone. it was during these broadcasts I was first introduced to Ernie Banks. Ernie can make you laugh he just was always happy that’s what I remember about him. he never cared or let it show that the cubs never won a championship he never contended for a World Series he was faithful to the Cubs his whole career.

If you ask me what baseball’s biggest mistake has been in the last 20 years I’ll simply tell you it’s when they didn’t allow Ron into the Hall of Fame until after he died. Nothing to me was sadder then the speech he made at Wrigley when they retired his jersey. He lived for that Hall of Fame announcement if you ever get the chance even though you may not know him watch this old cub you will understand then a little of the warmth that he possessed. For me going to a high school where no one was like me, going to frustrations of not being able to drive at the age of 16, and just other social pressure listening to Ronnie always made me laugh. No matter how bad he was feeling he always made it to the game. While I don’t have the same connection with Ernie he’ll still be missed I miss hearing his smile and his laugh during the season during some of the losing streaks he would keep me positive. To finish off my thoughts on Ronnie for the night I admired his strength you never know he had a disability I think about him every season and I’m certain nights during the off-season. He was that motivation for me when things get tough to just keep showing up work through it do the best you can. I don’t often talk about it, but when you can’t drive in the country they put you in an awful disadvantage and just when you’re different from anyone else it can be rough. I Ramber being rejected from a girl because I couldn’t drive I just felt so horrible about myself and I was into a Cubs game with Ron I just took my mind away from that place you know he gave me hope for the future.I don’t think I’ve posted about this very much but a guy that still alive that I definitely will mess and don’t even want to think about when he retires is Scully. If you ever get the chance I do this every year I pay for MLB TV just for him he does the entire Dodgers home television cast by himself. To be able to listen to him and hear him calling game it’s like that link to the past they don’t make announcers like him anymore and he’s one-of-a-kind. This year another goal of mine because I probably don’t have many years left is to go to dodger Stadium with the radio and sit and listen to him call the first three innings and then the ninth.

So here in Louisville it snowed for the first significant amount tonight. Robin is so happy. I woke up around midnight to take her outside and she’s been running outside in the snow for the last 20 minutes. Just putting her nose in it sniffing like it’s cocaine and then sneezing. I got a call from a friend who tell me about Ernie Banks so I thought I would write a few memories I know it’s mainly about Ron but those are my thoughts. When I was writing that about Ron I had a few tears but then I saw a Robin running around it made me laugh again. I don’t want her to catch cold but this is why bought the house so she can run around the yard and be happy she loves snow so I’m gonna go watch her for a little while and then I get some sleep. Rest in peace Mr. Cub.

Having trouble sleeping tennis might be the best blind man’s porn

So lately I’ve been having trouble sleeping I’ve been having a reoccurring dream and I wake up thinking someone is breaking into my house and then I can’t get back to sleep. Robin has been really sweet the last few nights when this happens she comes in and lays beside me which usually helps, but today it did not. so I opened up my radio app on my iPhone and pulled up the Australian open. I fell asleep pretty fast, and woke up to women’s tennis. Maria i’ll butcher her last name but you’ll know who I’m talking about if you Google was playing. No tennis is a game that requires site I would believe I don’t know that I’ve ever heard of a blind tennis league but I would be down to try that being said why do you have to have an orgasm every time you hit the ball? I could understand if you have to run across the court and connect but every time? if the Australian guy wasn’t talking it would’ve been softcore porn. even with him talking I could’ve made believe I was in the outback. Tomorrow it is confirmed I’m taking Robin to get a bath and I’m going to shoot guns so I’m sure I’ll have something event full on Monday. I also have a first date tomorrow night so we’ll see. Honestly I don’t know why I keep trying you think I’d learn a lesson from the past relationships failing that maybe I’m just not good at it or I’m interested in the wrong people but part of me still believe love can exist so I guess we’ll see.

Stevie does it why don’t you?

So I was playing my acoustic guitar tonight something that I’ve picked up in the last year and I realized that my whole life I’ve been doing the wrong thing. for the longest time I know it sounds strange but I would not play an musical instrument because that’s what blind people did. You don’t know how many times when I was a kid someone said or suggested I should play the piano or sing or rock back-and-forth because that’s what Stevie wonder does. Instead I play basketball causing one of my teeth in the front to be lower than the other tooth still today from running into a pole and a kids head in football. There is something soothing for me about playing the acoustic guitar now I just never got when I was a kid. I don’t know why I was so scared to embrace something but maybe at the time I wasn’t interested. The only thing I really picked up from a blind person was feeling a girls wrist to tell how big her boobs are like In Rey so thank you. I don’t think I’m old enough to tell if I’ll pick up a heroin habit but that seemed to plague Rey as well. I’ve gotten quite good at the game I think Ray was onto something. It’s like a lifetime ago but in college I used to impress women all the time with that I don’t know why that work but if you knew me back then I’ve settled down a little. Looking back in my life it’s amazing I didn’t die. I laugh now but that craving acceptance that I don’t think I’ll ever get nearly did kill me. Don’t get me wrong I think losing your site would be tough it definitely is the dominant sense but you guys are way too dramatic about it.

You would think because it’s so scary that eye progression would be better than it is. People would pay millions of dollars for a sliver of light and heavy treatment. I do miss things and because of my cancer the optic nerve is completely gone for me, so I’m really doubting anything in my lifetime will help me see. It’s a difficult acceptance but I also want to live and not be sheltered. I got a job in Muncie where I was comfortable, but I’ve been there a while and I want to change and to see something new so I took a job in Louisville sold a show to MLB and the rest is history. I definitely get frustrated about things for one job progression, you don’t often see blind people in management positions unless they own their own business. I could widen that to people with disabilities and it would still mean the same. Sometimes when I meet new people they act is if I have a limited cognitive ability. I don’t know where this concept comes from but it’s happened to me a few times. At the end of the day I think people just don’t know what or how to approach a blind person because let’s be honest you didn’t really learn about blind history ever. The more I sit and think and deal with some depression the more I want to help people I think I’m really going to focus on getting some job where I can assist with technology or teaching technology to individuals. Not only to teach them how to use something but to become confident and themselves. I was very fortunate I was on that without work a year and I found something a few other my friends here have gone through the same situation, but imagine if it was two years or three years? wouldn’t you eventually give up on yourself even if you had a higher education? let’s be honest is McDonald’s going to hire a blind person and then have to get the Technology in place for them to be successful? same for the 711? can it be done shirt but it would take a lot of advocating and a lot of strength.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading sorry about that shit above I don’t really know where that came from. I’ve been reading this Max to the nationals deal. I got to see him pitch a few times and Detroit he is a special player! I often said people that pay attention would deathly rank him at least in the top three the last three years. his dads have only gotten better. There are now six clients from Scott Boris on the nationals they should probably rename the team. I have to go make a few phone calls. I’m really trying to go to the All-Star game this year it’s in Cincinnati I think it would be fun. I’m going to the gun range this weekend after I take Robin for a bath so I should have a few stories on Monday stay tuned.

Robin doesn’t like to poop without me.

So I’ve made a discovery since I bought my house that after six years my dog does not like to go outside without me. I’ll use this morning as an example I let her out twice once at 6 AM while eating my breakfast, and another before I fed her at seven after my shower. She did not go to the bathroom either time I don’t believe, because when I got to work she had to do both before we went in. I guess I will have to start going back out with her to make sure she’s doing that I don’t mind if she runs around but I want to make sure she’s actually going to the bathroom. I guess it’s true shepherds are routine animals!

My letter to Tim Cook

This is a rough draft but pretty much about what I’m going to send. Dear Mr. Cook,

I went to college at Ball State University, and the year I graduated you released Voiceover on the Mac and IPhone. I applied for a job with Apple, and was hired. I remember being real excited, because this was going to be my first job. I couldn’t sleep the night before I went to work, and I caught the bus to go out to the facility. On my way in a mile from work actually my phone rang, and I was told the job I’d applied for wouldn’t be accessible with Voiceover. I was told to not even bother going to training, since nothing would work for me. I had to call and get a ride home while others were checking in to go to work.

I remember feeling defeated, and this was the first experience I really had outside Ball State of working. What really upset me was I’m totally blind I had been in contact with programmers and my Supervisor for a week before letting them know what accommodations I would need. This means they had at least a week before to know if things would be accessible why wait until the morning that I’m to report.

I’m not asking you to do anything about my situation I’ve moved on, and have a job of my own now. My concern is for blind and visually impaired people that would be hiring in today. I hope Voiceover now works with your systems, and that working with Apple would be achievable now. I just wanted to bring my story to your attention. Even though my experience wasn’t good with going to work with Apple it prepared me for the future. No one ever in my life had a conversation with me about how difficult the job market is, and it’s not often reported. I was going through life like anyone else just looking for a job to support myself, and then that happened and it toughened me up a little. Again I’m not excusing what happened, but things worked out.

I bought my first IPhone in 2009, and haven’t looked back. As you know Apple really was the first company to actually bring accessibility to a mainstream device, and a touch screen to boot. The device has changed my life in so many ways, and it’s hard for me to remember before I had it. I can play games with family members, identify my money, access my network drive from the go, and use GPS while out walking. My first day in college before handheld GPS I used to carry one that had cables all down my body, and I’m sure I looked like a space man, so it’s unbelievable that one device can do so much.

I now have an iPhone, IPad, Apple TV, Mac Air, and Time capsule. Man I didn’t know how many products I had until I just read them wow. Voiceover and Safari it seems is the buggiest part of the new IOS. It’s still useable, but is frustrating, and you have to do a lot of refreshes. Sometimes the phone just crashes and you have to hit the power button 6 times to do a soft reboot. A few months ago I was pretty upset to read one of the National Federation for the Blinds NFB resolutions was to put a lawsuit together to try and make every app accessible. While I would dream of a world where this could be the case logically I don’t get it. Plus why not make the same resolution towards Microsoft and Google don’t they not make phones as well? They upset me only doing things for money not the end result of betterment for blind people I could bring up numerous examples, but I digress.

Recently for home use I bought a MacBook Air. I love it. I don’t know why I waited so long actually I do. I bought a Mac Minnie in 2012, and thought I would love it. Tim it is a box that is so small, but the drawback to it is without a screen Voiceover doesn’t work well. It comes across with a busy message. It was disappointing that I had to by a screen with it, because I just wanted small and simple. I am glad I tried again because my air is amazing. I live in Louisville and my parents live near Fort Wayne Indiana so on Christmas I facetimed them from my Mac. I answer messages on it, take calls from it, and actually get work done as well in fact this message I’m composing on pages. I know you may get a lot of these, but I’ve been meaning to say thank you. There are some bugs, but overall I love my experience and not having to pay thousands of dollars for less technology like we had to do in the older days from things not being accessible. When I went to school for a simple word processer that kept losing my files it cost $1500. I would carry it in my backpack to school when I was in the first grade. To think a kid these days could receive an IPad and do way more with it than I had access to its mind-blowing. I also hope now a blind person could work at an Apple support center and it is accessible today. I would love to work at Apple one day, and I hope this finds you well!


Hopefully this post is better than my bowling game

I have a lot to write about I don’t know where to begin. This message I am typing rather than dictating, so things should look better. Sorry I never really edit, because if I spend too much time going over what I wrote I probably wouldn’t post anything, and while I’m dictating I don’t want to lose focus. I guess I’ll back date this by starting on Friday night. I listened to a 2012 Yankees Athletics game, and that seems like forever ago. For the first time in my life I realized this year Jeter won’t be playing, and it’s just a weird thought that my generation is passing or getting in their prime for sports.

Saturday I went to the Louisville Duke game. I’ve had that written in to my schedule since Louisville joined the ACC. Overall the game sucked Louisville’s offense is so stagnant. I have an usher that every time I come to Yum he takes me in and helps me get to my seat and then comes back and sees if I need anything during the game. After the game Coach K was over on the floor in front of me, and the usher let me know so I had Robin sit up and I yelled Coach K. He came over and shook my hand. I’ve never had a moment where I was silent, but it was difficult for me to find words to say. What can you say to a legend? The answer is nothing you just respect them. If you’ve ever seen the Real Sports peace on J Williams I think the peace alone speaks volumes of what coach K is about. If you’ve never seen the story go watch it. Basically J Will was in a motorcycle accident and was never able to play basketball again. Coach K visited him in the hospital, and Williams moved in next door to him. You just saw the love he had for his players.

Saturday night I went to a birthday party for my friend Amanda. We met at Applebee’s, and we had horrible service. I ordered chicken strips at 6 and by 640 they hadn’t come and they switched waiters for the table. Apparently they did finally come around 830. I left and went bowling with some friends from work. I won’t mention names, because I didn’t ask, but it was a blast. I’ve not been bowling since college when Carlos and I used to go, and I was rusty. I bowled a lot of gutter balls, but I managed one strike. Again look at my last post sometimes miracles happen in sports. It was a fun evening! I had two bowling analysts, who tried to give me pointers. The real fun was the competition between the two of them because if I got some pins with one the other would pressure me. It mainly just made me laugh, and even blind I think beer helps you bowl better. Robin was kind of nervous, because she lost track of me when I would go bowl, but she got over it eventually.

Sunday came, and I thought I would get emotional for the games, but I did pretty well. I watched a lot of sad dog videos in the morning, so a lot of the emotion was out of me. At halftime during the Packers game my friend texted I saying the Packers look good. I responded by saying I won’t feel comfortable until they’re up 30. Let me just recap the last 4 minutes of the game. The Packers were up 19-7, and still lost. Unbelievable, but anyway I was pacing around my living room just in shock the entire time. On the last drive where the Packers kicked the field goal I stopped and Robin came over and sat beside me. I put my hand on her head, and they made the kick. I’m starting to feel good again, but overtime came and that quickly deflated. My overall thoughts are this Packers had no first downs the entire fourth quarter you can’t do that these days In the NFL and expect to win. The other stat that blew me away off 4 turnovers the Packers only scored 6 points again not a good thing. You didn’t come here to read sports stats though but that’s my take from the game. I won’t even touch the Colts game other than after it I walked over to Ethan’s colts hat, and I laughed, and said no sports miracles today, and I guess are teams will have to meet up in the regular season again. I think they may play next year I will have to check, and it should be in Indy so I may try to go.

My final thing today is my struggle with getting in to my wireless router. I have Uverse from AT&T, and they have this device code that is printed on the side of the router. I used this app called be my eyes which just came out recently. Basically the premise is if you need help you can connect and they can tell you what you need to know using the camera. He gave me my password which I knew, but still thought it was cool. I then took a picture and sent it to my brother who gave me the code. I love to go in and mess with the settings. There are a few people with Uverse around me, so I changed the channel my router was on to give it some separation. That seemed to really help, and everything’s working well again. It was a struggle to get that device code though it took me about 2 and a half hours. Cable doesn’t make you do all of that thankfully. I did call AT&T though and had to listen to don’t text while driving messages first off you’re the Uverse people is this relevant? Plus these public service announcements are more annoying than useful. Trust me when I drive there is no texting going on its all focus and skill.