Monday I went househunting, which was interesting. It was me and my realtor who weeded out around a hundred homes that wouldn’t work due to transportation or bad shape. At the end of the day I know he is a salesman, but he is been very helpful which I appreciate. I didn’t take Robin because I wanted to get the whole feel of the house so I took my cane. I also felt Robin would get confused by walking around several times in a room. I don’t know how to explain how I see things, but I knew pretty fast if I like something or not. One condo we looked at had a pole in the middle and it was very open but I thought to myself this pole would probably be the death of me. I also thought visually this has to be an eyesore. One house we looked that I could touch the wall and I said this needs work my realtor agreed. Anyway I found two places I like and tonight we drew up an offer for the top one. I’m a bit nervous making a huge investment, but I’m really also excited but mainly nervous. I think I’m one hand it will be really nice to have something that is mine no one walking above me but on the other hand you never know what can happen with job opportunities or being fired. I look at life as a risk you can play it safe or you can gamble and I’ve done well on my gambling so far let’s hope it continues. That’s really all I have tonight I’m very tired it’s been a bit overwhelming putting this altogether but I’m 100% confident and the place I’ve chosen. I will have a lot more places to walk and catch the bus which I missed when I left downtown. It meets all of my requirements Robin has a little yard I have a bus stop and some restaurants I can walk to and it’s safe.
So when I left you Erica and I were at a winery bed-and-breakfast. My day I plan for her when off really well. The house was built in the 1800s and was prevalent in the Civil War. They actually had a slave quarters which was pretty neat to see. Sunday they made a country breakfast which was unbelievable. We had sweet potato pancakes hashbrowns and biscuits and gravy and fresh squeezed orange juice. One other note I really enjoyed our bed the posts were tree trunks or at least they felt like it.
Erica planned Sunday out for me since I did Saturday. We went to Frankfort Kentucky to Allcorn creek when we did a little water rafting. I believe the creek is like 99 miles but there’s a little stretch that is for beginners and it was pretty fun. I fell out twice once on accident once on purpose. I also tossed out Erica because she was being arrogant one time. haha were pretty good team I felt. We had two other people with us but once I learned the timing for paddling it was pretty easy.
After that she surprised me and took me to Cincinnati to the Reds game. Oh my gosh was it fun. I just want to say I finally had United dairy farmers ice cream they really need to bring to Louisville or if it’s here I need to know where. It was really nice being out with her tonight. I left Robin at home because I knew being around water would just scare her. After the game we drove home and I did a lot of singing in the car with the radio on. We got back to her parents place where she had a tent set up for us to stay outside. I felt like I was eight years old again staying out in my yard haha but we had a pool so it was fun. We went swimming around 230 this morning and I joke that I probably could see better than her which may have been true at that time.
I commented earlier about driving or the pressure from society and not having a car. Listening to the radio tonight I believe I know where that pressure stems from Music. Every country song is how a guy drives a pretty girl around and falls in love with her I’m very shortchanged on that. I think this weekend has taught me that you can’t be bothered by little things, because if you allow something to bring you down to its level then you will never rise up and reach your full potential. It’s okay to show weakness and there are times you can be weak, but you can’t let negativity consume you have to turn every negative experience into a positive. I tweeted out my blog post about Lyft on Friday, and while it wasn’t the best thing I’ve ever written it was my true emotion. I don’t find it okay because of a choice I make to have a service animal to be discriminated upon. If Robin had destroyed his car or did damage I would gladly pay, but she didn’t. For a few hours Friday night I was brought down to a level that I’m past and should be above. I used to think one day I would just understand blindness, but I find it as time goes by you’ll have your days. Just like I thought one day everyone would just understand my capabilities there always will be someone that doesn’t. That being said you can’t focus on that person or people that don’t get it you should rather focus on the people that do. I think human nature has us focus on the negative when times are hard it’s hard to see positive. This morning when we got out of the pool I heard birds chirping, smell the grass and trees, when I took Erica in my arms I felt someone that I want to protect, love, and provide for. These are all things for a long time I pushed away in my life. It’s easy to get caught up or swept away and what is happening now or to turn on the news or read a paper and only see negative, but there really is so much positive. Something simple as you waking up in the morning may just be a ritual but there are people that don’t. One question somebody asked me yesterday and a Facebook message was why do you go to so many games when you could just listen to it on the radio? Yes well I can’t see the game while there I can get lost in the atmosphere. I’ve met so many interesting people like in spring training 2010 where I met a woman who still buys two tickets to every game one for her deceased husband and she’ll go in memory of him. I find the perception that blind people could just stay home and listen to the radio fascinating, because I have no reason to hide or stay at home yes well I could save money I enjoyed being there.
I know I have limitations driving being one of them well at least legally. It can be a struggle for me trying to find my importance to someone. Could I be a good father? I would feel bad knowing that if I married let’s say Erica she would have to do all the driving. I know I could do other chores, and I would do as much as I could and emergency but you still have those limitations. I think to myself why would she want to be with me? I know this is a strange question but she’s young pretty smart I’m not putting commas but it’s okay haha so why is she able to see something that in my experience a lot of others haven’t? Maybe her blog post earlier answers that question. This weekend has been a little bit of a roller coaster for me Friday I started at the bottom Saturday I gradually went up the hill and Sunday we kept going up the hill. The way she just excepts me our communication it really is something I’ve never experienced before. I’ve gotten questions on how do I know someone is beautiful? Obviously I think personality, voice, play a part shit i didn’t need ,’s there. I think attraction plays a huge part when I hug Erica or have any physical contact I can tell she is beautiful i’m not looking at her with my eyes, but I think my other senses still play a huge role.
I have not slept at all in about 24 hours now and I have to look at three condos and three houses at two. This will be a fun day! My final thought is I really enjoyed what we did this weekend where Saturday I plan a day for her and Sunday she plan a day for me. Love and attraction a very complicated and I probably didn’t answer any questions it was mainly just me rambling, but when you get the opportunity to love someone cherish every moment, because it is special one of gods greatest gifts.
That post this morning was probably the only time I’ve ever thought about not submitting something. I read over it about three times before submitting. Those were my thoughts of the time and kind of where I was so I figured I might as well submit. Since that post things have been going pretty well I went to a gun range got to shoot some pretty sweet firearms. I love shooting guns I don’t know why, but it release some of my stress. I then went on a drive with Erica and that was pretty nice. My friend at work asked me what I get out of going on a ride with somebody, and truthfully since I can’t see the scenery not much. I grew up in the country though and every weekend we would go for a ride since being on my own the last 10 years if I want to go somewhere I’m pretty much bound to the city I’m in or of course I could catch a flight somewhere. Erica and I drove around looking at different sceneries I found on the travel website. I put together this nice picnic where I made a salad, sandwiches, and I even cooked a brownie for dessert. We went to this nice park and Sat on a blanket is pretty nice. Tonight we’re going to this winery/bed-and-breakfast I’m pretty excited. They have nice spots we can watch the sunset which again I won’t get a lot out of but it’s more being with somebody in that moment if that makes any sense. Even though I can’t see the beauty of things like that I still just enjoy sitting with someone and getting lost in conversation.
Now that I’m back to 100% I decided to share my Indy 500 story a little early. This was the before Robin days or as I like to refer to it the 1 br. I went to the race with my friend Collin and his family. I decided my beer of choice would be old-style since I love the Cubs and I love old-style so it just made sense. Collin put it in a cooler and we got to the track around 9 o’clock I believe. We met some more friends from school and we got our seats in the infield. I remember a group beside us had a kiddie pool full of ice and beer by the time we left it was all gone. I remember having to use the bathroom twice and both times it sucked the floors are awful and I had to go in the trough. Now that they said the trough is probably my favorite out of all of them, because there’s no skill involved and everybody gets a little wet. haha when the race started it was kind of interesting because for about 20 seconds or so you hear noise and then nothing. We really couldn’t hear the speaker system at all where we were. I kind of got bored so I just kept drinking. I remember at one point Collins sister Megan and his girlfriend at the time Hannah rubbed sunscreen on my shoulders so I didn’t get burned. That’s when everything went dark the next thing I know I’m awake in the backseat of the car driving through Indianapolis. Collin said that he pretty much had to carry me to the car I don’t remember. Once we got to his place I had to go to the bathroom so rather than do the logical thing and ask him where the bathroom was I decided to P in his yard in the middle of Indianapolis. I remember this because he yelled at me for a good five minutes, but I’m from the country I don’t know what I was thinking it was very impolite. I remember drinking some water and Collin saying there was a barbecue we could go to, so we got in his car and drove to the barbecue. Someone gave me more beer and I remember falling asleep with the hamburger in my mouth. Again I don’t remember leaving I just remember waking up at Collins house around 3 o’clock in the morning and everyone was sleeping. Man I forgot the best part I forgot the best part I had a beer helmet with two canisters on the side and a straw that I bought at a novelty shop and I drank out of that for the race. While I don’t remember much of that day the parts I do remember we’re pretty funny and fun. I’m way too old for that now. I did work Indy 502 years ago for the radio station, and I have to say my experience with Collin was way better working the race was not as much fun.
I’ve been thinking about entering into politics, but I think this blog has probably ended any opportunity I have with that. Haha at least I’m honest. I think things at times can be depressing, but if you let someone or something control your emotions then you’re always going to go through life being down. I am not a sad person or nor do I allow myself to be too depressed but something yesterday snapped for me I’m not sure exactly why. I haven’t really talked about it with Erica whole lot it’ll come out in time but today it’s been nice just enjoying her company I have to go catch the sunset. I remember what Collin told me when he was yelling at me for urinating in his yard. He said it’s 330 and real light out, I remember responding saying it’s dark to me.
Robin is 8 this year and what happened earlier kind of makes me wonder if I want to get another dog. I think back to my life when I had a cane, and I was definitely not as outgoing as I am now. I definitely would not of gone to New York three or four times, I would’ve not taken an internship with the Detroit Tigers, and I don’t think I would’ve traveled as much as I have. The positive with a cane is it’s just me so if you need a ride somewhere you don’t have to worry about a dog. I personally don’t understand and never will understand what happened earlier, because it made me feel like dirt. I have a job, pay taxes, and I’m living the American dream blind and other countries blind people aren’t this fortunate. Yet the issues I brought up last post and why I think this is a huge deal what happened is because we should all have a goal to be excepted. Ultimately you have to love yourself and not worry about what anyone else thinks or let their opinion bring you down. This is a good thought in theory, but on a daily basis I fight a struggle with myself to remain upbeat and positive. I know my siblings and my family members still really don’t cope with what all I can do. I still get questions on occasions from them like who shaves you? The post I shared about having a sighted girlfriend also sheds light. I’m faced with this question that I asked myself when I look at depression, and it is this when will things change? Since the introduction of the Americans with disabilities act in 1991 things have gotten better. I went to a mainstream school in a small town in northern Indiana something that if I was brought up an earlier generation would not of been possible. My childhood was normal I grew up pretty much like any other person in the country, and I’m thankful for that. I share the college stories not as an embarrassment, but as a realization of how people excepted me to a degree and I want to show that we have fun just like anyone else. Blind people do not make up even 1% of the population, so I understand to a degree why things are slow to adapt to us, but I want more. I’m tired of reading Facebook statuses from my blind friends who are college-educated some have masters degrees and where they filled out 300 applications in one month and not one fucking callback. I’m tired of turning on my television and having no feedback for what is on the screen and what is coming on. I’m tired of going to a restaurant and being stared at like I’m an alien, I know this is happening because my friends who can see tell me. I’m tired of when we can get a job there’s really no room for improvement or going up because of technology issues. Finally this will surprise you I’m tired of the organizations for the blind that pretend like they fight for our issues when they don’t. I went to a national Federation for the blind conference a few years ago the unemployment rate is 63% and was higher back then. The main topic for discussion wasn’t how social services are trying to take babies away from blind parents, it wasn’t the staggering unemployment rate, it wasn’t how do we bridge the society gap, but rather the focus was on a fucking car that can drive itself. Really the same people that won’t hire you for jobs are going to be the same people that are selling you the car but look at this logically self driving cars will not be out for a long time to where the public can afford them. Furthermore how are you going to buy a car if you don’t have a job? Im tired of the level of ignorance blind people have about real situations.
In the national Federation for the blind they call you a hero if you can navigate and AirPort independently by yourself. They also call you not as independent for having a dog because you put your trust in an animal. I’ve lived on my own for 10 years with a cane and with the dogs neither way I felt superior to anyone. There are still parents will blind children with capabilities that safeguard them and shelter them harming their future. Let me tell you parents when you get into the real world you will face tough situations, and no one’s going to care about the needs of your child. That’s what makes me laugh about the blind school where in the world are you going to see a cluster of blind people other than Frankford Avenue? haha sometimes I have blind friends that are successful, and who I’ve used for support through the years, but i’m tired of organization speaking for me and lobbyists hindering technology that could be useful for me.
I really kind a lost my train of thought I won’t lie. I spent the entire night just by myself watching baseball, trying to get over the anger I felt. Things personally with my girlfriend my job or all going well which is weird for me I’m happy about that, but I still feel this void from being completely normal or whatever. A psychologist would ask me what do I think is normal? That’s a fair question my response would be sighted. My realization has become that will never happen I’ll always have a cabdriver in the way who won’t pick me up or a person that won’t hire me simply off the fact I can’t see and I can’t prove it. I really do try and stay upbeat, but I can get difficult. This is probably the rawest emotion about Blindness I’ve ever shared maybe. The Reminders always get to me.
I had a night of pity for myself, but today I’m going to drive around with my girlfriend and find some happiness. I will find it as soon as she walks in the door. Growing up I saw my dad be the primary driver and I took cues on what a man should do it’s hard coming to that realization that I can’t drive like he did it’s been tough on me. When I dated someone blind I don’t really think about this because we take the bus. I’m glad for her patients. She has no idea what I have planned for today I am navigating where we go she is only driving. Which was a pretty cool idea I must say that we came up with. As long as my GPS doesnt fail we’ll be fine. I’ve unloaded a lot of my thoughts in here today, I hope it didn’t offend you there just my viewpoints.
One more thing before I go i’ll end this with some good news. I got hired to work as a technology specialist with Time Warner cable. I have two jobs again it’s part time which goes along with my full-time job. Basically I will be helping them make things more accessible I will learn more in a few weeks but I’m pretty excited about the opportunity. Enjoy your weekend stop reading this and have a drink for me I can’t I’ll be navigating. Tomorrow’s post will be something from my college years when I went to the Indy 500 I figure I’ll celebrate the race by telling my story from going to the race.
Last night I kind of went off the handle, but I’m tired of fighting for my rights for having a service animal. I will explain the situation and what happened, and you can make your decision. At work they decided to let us go early and I won a lottery to do so. We have no sidewalks at my work to catch a bus, so I either have to ride with a friend call a cab or use a company like Lyft. A few posts ago I talked about having an issue with the driver, and today it match me with the same driver that took me to work on Monday. He actually called me today and said I have a new policy for my car that doesn’t allow animals. He said what he would do is cancel my ride and I could request another one. I was kind of an a haze because he just picked me up Monday. I tried for another driver, but everyone was busy. I called yellow cab and was told someone will pick me up with in 10 minutes. I was standing outside and nobody came. I called back and asked dispatch where the driver was and they told me that they’ve already tried to pick me up. I said no one called me like I had requested? She then said sorry the notes were at the bottom to do so so she requested another ride. I imagine someone saw the dog when they pulled up because I was outside and just didn’t bother to call. At this point I’m going on standing outside for close to an hour waiting for a ride. I decide to give Lyft another try because all I want to do is get home and start my weekend. I got Bill, so I called him and asked if he was allergic to any dogs? I don’t like doing this, but I don’t want to waste anymore time he said no and that he would be there. Truthfully I’m probably the easiest going blind person out there, because I do understand not everyone likes dogs. That being said I’m also tired of being a doormat to something that is a right I have the right to take my dog anywhere. I just had read an article about Uuber being sued in San Francisco for not picking up passengers with service animals and I didn’t want this to become a trend nationwide.
I don’t have any issues these days at restaurants or stores, for the most part but where I have a continual issue is transportation. When I worked in Detroit last year I posted to my Facebook because a guy wanted to take off once he saw my dog I advised them of the law he did take me to my destination, but was not very friendly. I’ve been told by drivers here in Louisville that if my dog touches them during the ride we will get in a wreck. A lot of Muslim cabdrivers will not take me because of their religious viewpoints on dogs. I know in New York City the police are trying everything they can to stop this from happening, but to my knowledge nothing is being done here locally and Louisville. With all the news today about how for example gays are being turned down services if trying to Mary I think it is the same sort of issue what we face trying to get a ride.
Tonight Lyft did call me back and gave me a free ride and said I would never be matched with that driver again. I don’t want a free ride, because it does nothing. I rather want to educate them on the laws that they should have to abide by. I can be a pretty strong advocate when I need to be some others may not be strong. I don’t know what my actions will be on this matter, but we need change. It is 2014 awareness for service animals should be way better than it is. I know there are issues with people trying to sneak and actual normal animal as a service animal that is a problem too, but when my dog is trained to do a task by a legitimate school there is no reason I should struggle getting a ride anywhere. I don’t know how to feel at this very second because Lyft did reach out, but really didn’t address the issue. Yes I’m getting a free ride and I will not be match with that driver ever again, but it doesn’t keep it from happening again to someone else. Maybe that is a dream like Dr. Martin Luther King would have. In light of things recently we sometimes forget that even though we’ve made strides we still have a long way to go for equality. I do dream about a world one day where the unemployment rate for blind people will drop, and people will CS as a viable option not a pity party. I don’t really have anything more enlightening to say just let’s make some changes. I will say tonight cause me a little depression, because it just bothers me that this still continues to be a problem. I don’t know if I can describe it but it’s kind of a reminder that even though I work hard to live a normal life for some reason I keep being penalized for using a service animal which makes my life easier. Damn that sounds like one big contradiction, but I’m honestly exhausted so I will leave with that.
I thought it might be cool if Erica wrote a little blog entry about her point of view. I did not edit it here it is. I do not see anywhere in here about how handsome I am, s but maybe I missed it after all I am blind. She is very sweet and beautiful see I know how to complement.
Joe and I met at a party about eight months ago. He’ll tell you it was a year ago, but it wasn’t I’m a girl we remember dates! I never had met a blind person before, but we talked for a few minutes. I remember thinking to myself I wonder how he is viewing me, since he can’t see me? We didn’t exchange numbers or anything that night, but we ran in to each other at a Louisville football game a month later. Robin had an upset stomach, so I offered to run by Walgreens and pick up some medication for her. I took Joe to his house, and he invited me in, and we ended up sitting outside talking for several hours. Talking with him is really nice, because most of the time he listens. I stress most of the time, because he still is a guy.
After that night we didn’t really hang out much. We’d would text each other from time to time, and one time during the holidays we went out for cheesecake. In April I invited him to a party at my apartment, and he came which surprised me. We started talking more and more from that night on, and I just started falling in love with him. He is so fast with come backs, and his ability to make me laugh is astounding. I didn’t really know what dating him would be like, or if he would be interested in me. If you read this blog one thing you may not pick up on is Joe can be awfully shy. He has been burnt by past relationships, so I understand his apprehension.
Once we started actually dating we had a few hurtles to maneuver, but things are really well now. Joe loves his independence, and I truly understand that as much as I can. He doesn’t want to burden me or have me do all the work but a relationship wouldn’t work out that way anyway. Joe is so caring, and thoughtful. Last night I cooked dinner for him, and before we ate he took my hand and prayed. After the prayer he just held my hand for a second squeezed it and said thank you for dinner I really appreciate it. He’s always doing little things that make me feel special. After dinner he thanked me again with a hug. Previous boyfriends I’ve had never thanked me for cooking or if they did it was something quick and felt like they just expected it. He also put a lot of thought in to our first kiss which I found real sweet. He went over that already, so I will skip it, but it was breath taking.
I get the question a lot from friends what is it like dating someone blind? I don’t really think about it a lot to be honest. The only times I notice him really being blind is when he sits in a room with no lights on, or I walk in to his apartment and it’s completely dark. I now just turn on lights without saying anything, but I remember once I asked him how do you stand it so dark? He just laughed at me, and once in a while he’ll bring it up as a joke. I used to think to myself when we first met how does he do this or how would he do that, but after you spend time with him those questions fade. He’ll hate this part, but I do find him amazing at times, because I don’t think I would be as successful not being able to see. He makes it look so easy, but I’ve closed my eyes and it’s pretty overwhelming to me.
One thing I enjoy is describing things to him. We went to the Empire state building over the weekend, where I described the view to him. I find it at times challenging, because I want him to be able to form a picture of what I’m describing. During movies he will ask me what happened at a time where there is no dialog, and I’ll fill in the blanks for him. I’m amazed though how much he can pick up on just by listening, because I thought at first I had to describe everything but he quickly stopped me from doing that. I usually don’t describe anything now unless he asks, because I don’t want to annoy him.
I’ve honestly had friends tell me that I’m a good person for being with someone who’s blind. It upset me the first time I heard this, and I haven’t talked to that person since. There is more to Joe than his blindness, and honestly it’s the smallest part of him. I having a good heart has nothing to do with my relationship with Joe nor do I care what your opinion of us is. My family loves him, and they see how well he treats me. I think for my parents it was a bit awkward for them meeting Joe the first time. They had never met a blind person before, so they asked me a lot of questions before meeting him. I remember my mom said something about did you watch the Voice last night? She then quickly said I’m sorry did you listen to the Voice last night? Joe was real sweet about it, and just said yes I saw the Voice last night.
I think the key for us is communication. Even if something causes us to get in to an argument we’ll talk about it later. I love that aspect of our relationship. He’ll send me a text message at the right time during the day saying I miss you, or I just wanted to say I love you.
I don’t think Joe being blind matters to me at all. We’re going to go on a trip over the weekend, and I know he feels bad he can’t help me drive, but if he holds my hand and talks to me it’ll all work out.
I’m going to wrap this up now, and I hope someone finds this information useful. I think confidence plays a big part in relationships in the beginning I don’t think Joe was confident in his ability, and may have found me a bit intimidating. I think as we’ve grown were finding a middle ground where we can trust each other. I know it will just take time for him to understand I don’t mind if he calls me to take him somewhere. If I’m busy or can’t I will let him know, and he can use his other sources. Ultimately I want to make his life easier just like he does for me. Dating Joe has been no different than anyone sighted I’ve dated, and I wish everyone could see it that way. Obviously he has some limitations, but everyone does. If you focus on negative things about people you’ll constantly miss the positive atttributes people can bring. Yes Joe can’t drive me around, but he can still spoil me in other ways or do things that make me feel even more extraordinary.
Most of the time I notice him being blind has to do with light. One night I remember waking up and having to use the bathroom I walk in to the bathroom and flip on the light and there Joe is in the dark with earbuds on. It almost gave me a heart attack! I’m working on him using lights. In the morning he takes a shower with his Bluetooth speaker and will sing songs it usually is a Miley Cyrus or Taylor Swift song. haha it makes me laugh though! This last paragraph was rushed, because I wanted to get even with him for something he promised me know editing so I better see this.
I never forget anything, but at times I need something that triggers a thought. This morning Erica and I were talking about children. Not having children, but dumb jingles that get stuck in your head. Anyway that really isn’t important, but what I thought about makes this post great. When I was a kid the county or my parents I really don’t know whose decision it was maybe both, but there was a sign by the road that said caution blind child in area. Hahahahaha Seriously I’ve always wondered why they had to put that outside like I’m some deer crossing. I asked my mom about it about 10 years ago, and they did it for safety she told me. Maybe there was a story I missed one day that a bunch of blind children didn’t hear cars driving by and they walked out in the road and were killed? It really is hard for me to rap this around my head. It provided a good 5 minutes or so of me making jokes about it this morning. I talked about this before in 4H they made me wear a sign that said blind child as well. Call me crazy, but I would not just walk out in to the road. When I was older I used to ride my bike up and down the road, and go for walks with my cane. We didn’t have sidewalks, but I could hear cars coming and move off to the side. How would you feel if I put up blond girl in area or something? It’s why I got upset with CNN about gun control when they were saying blind people shouldn’t be allowed to have a gun. When there is a mass blind school shooting we’ll talk, but until then just stop commenting on things you have no idea about. Morgan said at one point in his debate that blind people could just call the police if they were being robbed. Really? Do you realize the police could take 30 minutes to respond to my call? I’m blind so a burglar knows I can’t have a gun doesn’t that make me a target? I will live by this approach I know my house blind the burglar doesn’t. I stand just as much of a chance hitting him as they do me, so bring it!
Today I have my first ever weird experience with Lyft and a service animal. With a busy weekend I forgot to schedule my ride for the normal bus service, so I scheduled Lyft and call the driver to tell him I had a service animal. I try to do that just in case they have an allergy. He told me that he loved animals, but he has a new car and didn’t want the dog to shed. He did still pick me up, but I have a big problem for these types of services in the future. I understand that they’re “” a contractor, but I feel that they should have to abide by the laws. This is really been my first questionable experience with them, but it is a concern for the future. My problem with this is he will pick up a drunk person that could puke in the back, but he’s worried about my service animal who is going to stay on the floor.
Saturday Adrian and I caught the Amtrak to Philadelphia which was pretty pleasant I must say. The Wi-Fi worked well the tracks were smooth completely different experience from the Midwest. Neil surprised me by bringing Erica back which I didn’t expect at all. He spent the night at his brothers in Louisville and brought her back Saturday afternoon. I thank him for that! I’m still learning so much about her and her family I’m sure she could say the same. Tonight I will get to that later but we spent at least two and half hours just talking about our childhoods which was nice. I love learning about her. Neil said he had a surprise for me and she put her hands over my eyes and Neil said guess who? They really have to think of a better way to full me. Haha. I got a chance to see his house it was beautiful. I missed them being in Louisville, because it was nice having somewhere to go over Thanksgiving last year they were kind of like my family away from home if that makes any sense. We went to Independence Hall and walked around there for a little while. I love history So I found it pretty neat. I’ve already seen the Liberty Bell but we still stop by, because Erica hadn’t seen it. Neil wanted somewhere to go watch the horse race so I got my GPS out to find something in the area. I found this place called the turf club which was pretty neat. Neil said that he thought it was a strip bar I just teased him about how sighted people most times do not use there sight. I really like walking around in Philadelphia much more so than New York, because it didn’t feel quite as a place only for tourists. I ended up liking the turf club because it was not very busy, and we could have conversations without yelling at each other. I hate loud places for the most part, because it really does hinder my communication.
I already shared one story about the Phillies game I thought it was pretty amazing. They had crab fries which was recommended to me definitely hope to have them again soon. After the game Neil and Adrian went back to their house and Erica and I went out. I ended up riding the bull at that PBR bar. I did pretty well I got bored and decided just to fall off eventually, but it was okay. Erica said I would’ve made a handsome cowboy I’ll take that. It was definitely different than what I imagined to be honest. Thankfully my boobs stayed in. Truthfully I imagined like one of those merry-go-round’ looking figures and I thought it would run on a track. We then found a club that had a dance floor and my favorite a couch. We danced a bit together and then sat on the couch talking. Alright we may have done some cuddling as well. I’m sure I will get over this but I had to use the bathroom and they had central bathrooms for all the clubs so she walked me to the guys entrance and waited which was nice but it still feels a little awkward to me. I know I overthink everything. We went to another tavern that was a few blocks away, and it was really nice just walking and talking with her. I love listening to her thoughts on things such as the Russian situation, or how the media works. We don’t always agree, but I value her opinion and we don’t really argue about the things we disagree on. I’ve had girlfriends in my life, but I’ve never been great at relationships. Usually one side has way more feelings than the other side which is usually me. Fuck it I can tell the truth. With Erica and probably I say in the last two months I’ve started opening up again and being more like myself before being mugged last year. I went through a lot of periods where I didn’t like life or I would be afraid to go somewhere. I feel refreshed, and have an energy that’s been missing. Today I look forward to getting home and just watching television on the couch with Erica getting ready for the work week. And one of our conversations she did tell me that she thought baseball was a bit boring, but because I love it she wants to love it. We watch a few games together, and knowing her true feelings and makes it even more special if that makes any sense because she’s wanting to make the effort. She’s done that all along and it’s something I admire about her. I probably don’t deserve her love but I have it and I’ll do anything for her to keep it. To be honest I’m pretty tired and my back is a little sore from being a cowboy so I’m going to go try to get a massage out of that.
Now I understand people are ignorant and don’t understand how I can get around. That being said I’ve never been faced with the situation that happened yesterday at the Philadelphia Phillies game. I went to use the restroom and decided to go to a urinal because I could tell it was going to be a bad time in the stalls. Public places like that usually have terrible bathrooms, so rather than step in something gross I decided to take the easy route. While I was going to the restroom this guy started saying things like oh that’s amazing incredible what clued me and he was talking about me was he said you didn’t get anything on you. I honestly didn’t know what to say, because I realized this guy just watched me P. i’m pretty open you seen that in this blog so I would’ve been cool if you had just asked me a question when I was washing my hands on how I P. To stand beside me and look over it’s just weird and creepy. Anyway I just thought I would right about that weird experience, because it caught me off guard. When I went over to wash my hands he did say to me that I was amazing. I thought it was pretty cool to be amazing in his world all I had to do was just pee. I don’t remember speaking any complete sentences to the guy just yes or uh-huh. I chalk this up to a weird experience hopefully never to be repeated.