Category Archives: Radio

It was a long night in Canada

This will be a pretty long update so strap in. Yesterday was day 2 of my Toronto adventure. One thing I didn’t talk about in my first post was that I was really worried about traffic. I knew it would probably be about the same, but I was worried I’d encounter something I wasn’t familiar with in the states. That hasn’t happened thankfully. The traffic sound normal it’s really busy most of the day I’ve seen, so it’s easy to tell the traffic serge.
Yesterday where do I start it was a full day. I got to piss in a shark urinal I guess I will start there. I went to this bar, and went to use the bathroom, and was told the Journal was shaped like a sharks head. Now one thing I will say when I got Robin urinals a harder, because I used to use my cane and bump it, so now I have to use my leg which I do not like. I was for the life of me trying to see what it looked like but I couldn’t touch it so I just pissed and hoped for no splash back thankfully there wasn’t. It was not trough thankfully.
The Jays game again was great another hell of a game. The Jays had the bases loaded and with no outs and couldn’t score so they lost. That was the biggest inning of the game. Monica came and sat by me during some of the game and I learned about her. We decided to go out to eat together for dinner. I asked her if she liked thai I saw a few places near by, and she said she loved it. I left her and went to the aquarium since she had to finish up working.
At the aquarium I got to touch a stingray. That was pretty neat other than that though like my friend Kim said it was a bunch of fish behind glass. haha I did learn some things though.
I walked to the thai place which was pretty far or at least further than I was participating. I wasn’t sure if this place would give me trouble with Robin, but I was surprised how open they were. I used to live next to a Thai place in Muncie when I lived downtown. I would take long walks and then stop by for dinner. The owner would give me a neighbor discount which I thought was nice. I really miss that small-town atmosphere. Anyway Nute I think her name was came out and asked me what I wanted I found out she was the owner. Monica ordered hers and then I got something spicy. I love the heat. It didn’t dissapoint. It was noodles and shrimp and peppers.
Monica told me she had a blind sister, and so when she met me on Friday I inspired her. She told me her sister lost complete sight a year ago when she was 16. I told her I thought that would be tougher, because she’ll remember things where I can’t. My friend Denny tells me storries of how he used to take off running when he lost his sight, because in his head he could still see and he would smack right in to a wall. We started talking about her and her studies. She is 25, and studying at Toronto University working in cancer research.
Eventually things got to me, and she asked me some tough questions. I told her about radio and things I’ve been through with it. I told her about turning down Detroit, and New York once. She asked me why I did that? I was honest about it I think I was nervous to fail. If I had moved to Detroit and got fired in the first month where wouldd I be? Plus I was honest at that time I was dating Lex and she was doing well on tv and her family was close so I knew she wouldn’t go. things fell apart for us after I turned the job down, but it is what it is. New York is great to visit, but I feel trapped there. People aren’t friendly either I just never liked it. Louisville has this big city feel, but where I live know one just drives down the road and it’s quiet. For me I need that. I said to it’s hard to walk away from making money to take a chance where I won’t. It’s not like blind people are not having trouble finding work. She laughed and asked if I would like to go on a walk with her? I decided well if I get mugged or set up I’m only crying my phone and a few dollars now. I took her elbow so I didn’t have to constantly follow her. At times while walking with someone it’s easier to do that also so your dog doesn’t get confused. We walked streets, and she explained to me about the landscaping bigger buildings, and how much things have grown or changed. I asked her a lot about the different providences, because I’ve always ben interested.
We walked around for about 2 hours just talking, and learning about each other. It was nice. She asked me at one point why I loved baseball? I simply said because I’m American. She laughed, and said seriously why would you fly in to mainly watch baseball? I told her I want to get back involved in some way. Out of everything in my life it’s been the most consistent thing over the years. I saw my grandpa after my grandma died just watch a lot of it to pass time. For me in my teen years it helped me cope with sight loss, or if I was feeling really depressed it gave me an outlet to get lost in. Why the fuck am I always so deep with my responses? Denny is right I like writing novels. You’d think college courses would have taught me something. She told me she wants to do a lot of research on breast cancer, because her mom died about 10 years ago from it.
Anyway we got back to my hotel, and I took Robin off duty. Her and Monica played for a bit until Robin got really sick. I ran her outside and she started puking. It was not pretty at all. Once she settled down I took her inside and got her some water. I get really nervous when Robin gets sick I just want to help her. She curled up on the bed and didn’t move for the rest of the night. Monica and I talked until about 4 this morning so she stayed over. I’m beat, but I guess I can sleep on the airplane home. I’m really glad Monica walked around with me yesterday. I engaged more with locals, but her explaining what was around us visually was great, and gave me a greater understanding. I’d definitely come back to visit. Robin seems to be okay today she ate breakfast, so I will take that as a good sign.

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Planning a vacation is stressful!

This vacation thing has really been tough on me. I figured out what I’m doing, but to get there was a real trip in itself. I talked about this a bit on my radio show yes you read that right I did a radio show again on Saturday. I had my friend James who used to drive me for my other gigs back in the day drive me. The first thing he says to me when he pulls up early in the morning is you sound full of energy again. The broadcasting thing drains me; because I really have a hard time with saying okay I need to step back from this. The show went well in fact really well. I didn’t feel the time gap of it at all.
 
This vacation thing I will be honest. I started out wanting to go camping, and I talked to Mel, and she was like are you nuts? Logically to me camping as a blind person doesn’t seem that challenging, but I admit there would be hurtles. She said you don’t have to prove anything to the people that love you so why are you taking a risk? I didn’t have an answer for her at the time, but Wednesday and Thursday I came home didn’t eat dinner, and just slept on my couch and bed. A month ago I was dating this girl on the low. She started dating this guy and I was out. I ran in to her one night at the Tin Roof. I hate that place by the way at least the one in Louisville to small, and to loud. Anyway she asked me to sit with her and her boyfriend who wasn’t weird at all insert sarcasm. This guy was like a woodsy guy vary masculine put that on the fact I was already going through this issue with not driving it meant depression for me. I decided that I would just go do this camping idea as a way to prove to myself that hey I can do it. After I started talking about it publically my mind changed. My friend Steve called me up asking me why I want to live in the 1800’s when I don’t have too. That was a great question. If I had kids or maybe a sweaty romantic getaway maybe camping would be alright, but otherwise I chose another idea. I’ve always wanted to leave the United States just to travel somewhere different. I never have. In Toronto they have a hotel attached to the ballpark. Now I ask you that just has my name written all over it I mean how can we get any more convenient for blind people? I’m looking in to taking a bus out to Niagara Falls state park we’ll see if that happens, but I will be going to 3 Jay’s games.
 
With that I had to ask could I take Robin. It’s her birthday, so if she can’t go I can’t go. That’s how I roll she’s got to come with me on her birthday. I called her school, and spoke with a lady who said Canada is fine with service animals, so it’s decided. Stay tuned for updates from Canada. Also as far as proving things to people who don’t matter Mel is right. At the end of the day to some people I could swim across the Pacific, and I’d still be helpless or blind. I think if you don’t believe in you it’s hard for someone else to. I could look at my failed relationships and let it consume me with thoughts I don’t deserve any better or you can look at it and correct things and move on. If you don’t believe that you do you never will.

Memorial day weekend

It’s the weekend, and man do I love these 3 days off. I can’t believe today is the last one. Right now I am sitting on my porch listening to crickets and feeling the breeze. I’m debating turning on the air. Back when I lived in Muncie and I caught a guy breaking in to my apartment I am really uneasy about leaving windows open while I sleep. My neighborhood is pretty good, but I just can’t get to sleep and since it’s 80 in my house with the windows closed no thank you. Another quick observation is why after you clean the toilet do you have to use it? I swear while I was cleaning it I was great the moment I finished I had to use it.
I did not go to LA this weekend like I was thinking. When I was buying the plane ticket it came out to about 900 dollars, and I decided I could put that in to my emergency money fund instead. That sounded better so I just stayed home. I went to Jerry and Lees Saturday for a get together and that was fun. Lee made me a pork chop fan. I’ve never been a big pork fan for some reason, but she’s grilled them twice and each time I’ve enjoyed them. I’m not in to steak either, but I do love burgers. We walked up to Arby’s and got a shake after dinner, and then took Robin out back and tossed the toy. She’s not dealing with the heat that well already I’ll have to keep watching her with that. I carry a traveling waterbowl on me so we should be fine, but if it gets real hot this summer I may just stay out of it with her as much as we can. When we got home she took her ball back outside, so I played with her a bit. She then laid down in the grass and I rubbed her belly and had some bonding time.
Today I was reminded it was the Indy 500. I was lucky to go to 2 of them. One as a fan when I went with the Meyer’s family, and one when I was working in radio for coverage. I’ve blogged about the 500 with Collin that was an adventure haha. It made me miss them though I haven’t seen them for like 7 years. In college they were all like a second family to me. After Ethan passed I think of things like this more often. That weekend I went to the 500 with Collin the Friday before I went to Carb Day with Ethan. It really should be named drink and look at cars day. This is back before I had Robin, so I had no responsibilities. When I got Robin she of course replaced my cane, and became my eyes she also gave me responsibility. It’s probably the same as having a kid maybe? I don’t know. Covering the 500 was okay but a long day, because after the race I had to go take notes at the Pacers Heat game. That was a long ass day.
Today actually kind of was a surprise. I’m still on Sunday sorry. Anyway my old radio program director was in town. He swung by around 5:30 this morning, and we went out and went fishing. Basically what I did was buy some bate and just loose it in the lake, but some could call it fishing. I’m not a good fisherman, but I like to go be on the water. Robin hates me during this entire trip. She had some water drama when she was a puppy, so it’s difficult for her to be near it. When I got her the puppy raisers warned me that they had to rescue her from falling through some ice as a puppy, so I think that made her afraid of lakes and such. I really do try to keep her away from that, but I didn’t want to leave her for a few hours at home alone. She did okay she just shivered against my leg, but I brought her treats to try and ease the pain.
Jack and I were talking about blind people problems and how sighted people have a hard time comprehending us. After we finished fishing, and caught nothing to eat I told him I’d provide dinner. He laughed, and said see blind people can provide food. I miss working with him back then though my life was so crazy not what it is now. By crazy I don’t mean like partying I mean like working all the damn time. I would do my normal gig 9-530, come home and sleep for a few hours then go to work in Indiana from 1-5. I was happy, because I was doing what I loved, but I didn’t have any time like tonight where I could just sit back and be amazed by the little things like nature. That’s something I am doing as I get older is I’m just stopping and noticing what’s around me. Just listening to the crickets like I said earlier. When Jack and I were fishing earlier I just stopped and listened to the birds, and felt the joy of of the beauty of the surroundings. That’s something I wouldn’t have said 10 years ago. Putting worms in the lake is therapeutic I guess.
After I got home I just cleaned a lot, because I’ve been avoiding that. I did a little house work, and some reporting to Sonos about the beta I’m using. I wanted to share one more idea. I’ve been on the fence about the Apple watch I really want one, but I just haven’t given in to my urge yet. Reading the blog you guys know how creative I am when it comes to romance I try to go above and beyond for some reason even though I’ve had the worst dating history. Anyway one thing I can’t figure out with the apple watch is you can send someone your heart rate. Yes you read that right. I don’t know why anyone would want to send there heart rate to someone else, but I started thinking. After your first date you could send your heart rate to her, and say you have my heart beating like boom boom that super base. On that note I will stop writing. Enjoy your memorial day!

Thank you to the Seeing Eye and an epic sports rant an update from my relationship

I got Robin from the Seeing Eye in 2008 July to be exact. I keep up with things time to time by reading friends Facebook statuses or seeing Twitter posts about the organization. I admit it’s been probably five years too long since I’ve made a donation, I don’t know why I guess life just gets in the way or things get busy. I’m very grateful for the experience and the freedom that it’s given me, but I mainly focus on technology and reality of where blind people actually are. Since I’ve gotten Robin and started this blog I’ve pretty much pulled no punches that traveling with a guy dog can sometimes be difficult because no one is holding companies accountable for actual loss. 98% of the time everything is fine it’s just that 2% that really frustrates me. You’re constantly in advocate which is fine I like to keep on people. Other than the transportation companies I’ve talked about Louisville has been fine, Muncie was fine, but when I’ve traveled to Arizona when I go home people follow you around stores it’s very interesting at times. This all being said I joined a Facebook Group recently related to the Seeing Eye. A question was raised from a person that made me interested for retraining someone said they were only staying for two weeks, so I asked if this was new practice because it used to be 2 1/2 weeks? One of the administrators pointed me to a conference call saying listen to this and you’ll have your answer. Now again I’m not being ungrateful when I say this, but I have far more better things to do than to listen to some stupid conference call that doesn’t really relate to me in anyway and why would I seek that out? I maybe that was a little harsh I’m in a bad mood from watching the Arizona game yesterday. I figured there was something completely astonishing that comes out it will make the rounds and I’ll hear about it otherwise I don’t seek out conference calls from any organization not just the Seeing Eye. I just thought the response was a little weird, but maybe I should just follow things better than I do. There’s a lot of people that talk shit about which school is better for getting service animals it happens on all sides even the people from the Seeing Eye get blamed more but I just stay out of all of that I don’t care. It was the first however so I will say that. Haha that actually is one of the reasons I chose it. Not to mention I had seen a lot of successful cases around me at the time from people who graduated from there. There are other good schools but I’ll continue to go to the Seeing Eye. I was telling my friends Jerry and Lee that I feel a little bad from time to time and I don’t know if I’ll get a second dog, because I don’t take Robin on 4 mile walks which seems to be the normal from the lists I read. Maybe is just being from the country, but if I don’t have a purpose or destination I don’t just go. When I was discovering GPS like playing with different units and things I would just go discover roads and I might do that here in the spring since I moved to my new neighborhood but it’s hard just to go out and walk for no reason at all. I mean this week for example we had wind chills in the negatives why take my dog out and make her freeze just so she can walk 4 miles? I don’t understand that philosophy. Then again maybe that’s why I’m a little fat. See I see things from all angles or least try to. Robin I travel a lot together and were at work a lot but when I get home I honestly don’t feel like walking around tons. I don’t know if that’s normal and I’m not sure if it’s fair to get another dog where people are putting a lot of money into for me to do so. There are these types of people that have to know everything about something if that makes sense maybe that’s what I’m seeing on the list I just don’t get that involved.

Robins been with me for seven years now going on seven I guess this year. There’ve been things in life that definitely make us closer at times whether it be moving somewhere new, someone dying, traveling, and just a whole bunch of other things. When I first got Robin I would come home we would play and then she would go to her room and do her thing and I would be in another room doing my thing but now she’s always usually in the room with me. Once in a while if I making a lot of noise or annoying her I guess she’ll go lay in my room but if I sneeze or get up and go somewhere else she usually comes running. I think I’ve always been close to her but definitely moving to Louisville submitted that because she was something that came with me if that makes sense. I’m kind of weird so maybe that’s why I struggle with relationships but I never really talk to her much or I didn’t used to because some people carry-on full on conversations with their dogs and that’s kind of weird to me. In the past I only talk to her when I needed her to do something or if I was congratulating her on something or we were playing. Some handlers really go on and on with their dogs. when Robin and I are working together I say good job tell her her direction, and that’s about it mainly because I don’t want to be distracting. My thought is if I’m dating somebody or in a relationship does my partner want to hear me say everything that’s on my mind or constantly hear my voice? Let me rephrase that so say your partner is reading and you come home and they’re really interested in what they’re doing if you keep talking to them throwing them off you’re going to get vague answers that’s how I feel it would be with the dog because they’re supposed to be watching out for you and being your eyes so why when I walk down the street constantly singing or doing something with my voice to be distracting. rereading that May have been a question but this isn’t your best grammar blog.

As I was saying I’m not the best with relationships. I honestly do try, but maybe it’s my communication skills maybe I just like batty people. here is my side of what is going on in my life. Soap for Valentine’s Day I met my friend Kevin and Lexington and went to the game which is all known to my friend Taylor. We went out to eat the week before and I know she doesn’t like to go out on the actual day because of crowds. I told her my plans because Kevin hasn’t had Valentine’s Day plans for a few years now and she seemed fine. We even made plans when I got back for me to make crab legs and some vegetables and watch a movie. So let’s go to the actual day of Valentines. I get a text message during the Game asking where are you? I responded I’m in Lexington. She then started texting me crazy things like I thought we’re supposed to hang out together today and it’s Valentine’s Day why would you be gone and then she threw in the dagger sports are more important to you than me. Alright therapy time I will admit something here that I don’t know that I’ve said very many other places. In the right situation I could walk away from any sport even baseball, but if someone cared enough about me they wouldn’t make me choose. Anyway she told me that she was going to her house and to forget any plans we have for the day. I couldn’t really call her then there were too many people around too noisy. I’ve sent her a few text messages since then with no response so I don’t know really what’s going on. Apparently though I miss something like a sign men do that we just drive around until we find it. We actually did speak yesterday for the first time. That’s just weird for me and my relationships is it seems that if something occurs the women I like don’t want to talk about it but rather space themselves from the situation or we completely break it off. It’s an observation I’ve made along the way. apparently she wanted to just lay on the couch and watch movies all day and rather than do that I went to a basketball game which created this how I’ve been living in for two weeks. I asked her why she didn’t just say that? Her response was one that just drives me nuts about people she said you should’ve just figured it out. I was in shock I told her the story about how my friend survived cancer how is going to be with him we were going to make something special happened on Valentine’s Day for the both of us we celebrate our Valentine’s Day we Carly and I’m just supposed to know you want to lay on the couch all day and watch movies? You could’ve worked that in somewhere.

Between that situation and not following organizations correctly I’m having a rough morning. Not to mention how irritated I am with Arizona fans. Actually just make that sports fans in general saying Kentucky’s one and done situation isn’t fair. Really? Don’t the rules encourage that? are they cheating? If you’re so mad at the rule why doesn’t it change and be more like the NFL? you shouldn’t be mad at Kentucky or the way they operate rather than you should be mad at the NCAA for their dumb rule change. actually you should also factor in the NBA because I think they’re the ones who really made that change. As a fan I don’t like the real personally myself but I’m not going to sit on sports radio and I wouldn’t be a sports radio host and allow people to come on the airwaves and say that Kentucky cheats how does a cheat? Because they enforce a rule that is already a rule? I’m sorry Indiana fans, Purdue fans, Wisconsin fans, Ohio State fans, and any other team that sits in denial that they’re going to take for year kids and eventually make a team. You have this archaic notion the Big Ten is tossing out about making freshman teams. Sports in general already don’t make much money besides basketball and football every other sport pretty much is a losing entity, so you’re going to make the system bogged down by adding freshman basketball? What is that proving? Can you imagine if Anthony Davis for example had to play on the freshman team? The big 10 in my opinion might be the best basketball conference in the United States, but to think like that is just so backwards. I guess Kentucky and Louisville winning the tournament the last few years has made the Big Ten hungry. how Ohio State forgets the year they had Michael Conley and Greg Oden who reportedly did not go to class at all funny isn’t it? I guess since they didn’t have the success Kentucky has with the system things have to change. Maybe before you start hating on a guy or saying a program is it legit maybe you should look at the overall system and see how it’s failing. The real joke is that you watch these major sports and think a kid has to graduate college that’s not really the intent I don’t care who or what the propaganda tells you anyone who’s playing basketball or football that has a shot for the pros is going to go to the pros only a select few actually care about the education. I love those commercials of course if you’re on the swimming team you’re going to graduate they’re not throwing $40 million at swimmers unless your name is Phelps. A basketball team has what 13 players? Even at that how many players are in the NBA so if you have a talent of a Bryant or James or Wade you’re going to go where the money is and of story. Colleges mask the sports programs as a good deed let’s face it all it is is a free training process for the majors while the universities make millions and the student athletes may Jason education. look at the video game market they were selling video games where colleges we’re getting paid the NCAA was getting paid but the player got nothing until a lawsuit which still the players who were in the game probably won’t get anything. Lol and I love college basketball but you just have to look at the facts the one and done rule doesn’t benefit anyone except for a coach who is smart enough to take advantage of the system that’s it and I’m not hating nor should you. All this talk about where a team ranks against a team from the 70s it’s just boring talk to me things change in the 70s they didn’t have a shot clock how can you compare a team back in the four corners offense days to a team now it just doesn’t make any sense.

If you can or if you would like please go to http://www.seeingeye.org and make a donation it is a great cause and I thank them dearly for what they’ve given me.

Year in review

Every entertainment source has one of these at the end of the year, so I figured I’d do one as well. This is my year in review. I started this blog in March, and it’s been doing good numbers. Even when I don’t update frequently people stumble upon it. I don’t know how much good it’s doing, but maybe for what it’s worth it will help someone, or it provides you a laugh. This year has been tough. I went from being real up in the beginning to probably the lowest I’ve been in a long time with the loss of a friend. This weekend I plan on doing some shopping I got robin’s Christmas gift in mind I just have to go buy it I’m getting her a pig, because the one she has is getting torn up. She loves it, a lot of times at night I will reach down on the ground and she is lying below me with the pig between her paws. She has been more destructive with her toys lately, but maybe it’s because I’m home more. I’m also going to Dave Chappelle Saturday night, so that should be a fun time.

In January I was working with a radio company as a consultant working with shows that were struggling for ratings. I loved it, and did well with show out of Nashville. It wasn’t what I pictured myself doing, but I really enjoyed it. I got fired in March, well more like I quit and was fired. We just had a difference of opinion.

In March I went out to Phoenix for a television job with the Backs. I didn’t get it, but loved the opportunity. If I ever retire Arizona will be where I head. I got lost by taking the wrong bus, but with GPS I found my way. I just kept singing amazing grace you know that part where they say I was lost but now I’m found. Gaps have come so far in my lifetime it really is an amazing tool. Plus it’s easy to be lost when it’s 90 not so much when it’s 30 like today.

In May I went to New York and sat in during the O&A show at Sirius. This was an amazing experience. Those guys are great, and after hating them for years they’ve helped me through some tough times. I saw the empire state building, and went to Philadelphia to watch horse racing and see my first Phillies game. That was a great trip. I also got to see Niels house out in Philly I miss him here, but glad he is doing well. I thought I had found a great girlfriend, but oh boy did that go downhill quickly. I also enjoyed traveling on the east coast; besides the traffic it’s pretty nice.

In August I was homeless for 3 weeks. That was a weird experience. I will say this never try and beat the system. I tried to save money and lost. Thankfully Natalie, Jerry, and Lee hooked me up with places to stay. I’m glad to be in my house now. Robin is happy to have a routine and her toys again I think she was confused for that time period. She still had me though and was a good sport. That dog has seen so much since I’ve gotten her. I miss Lee’s cooking though.

In September I moved in to my house the first I believe. I’ve enjoyed every second of it. It’s true I’m becoming quite the handyman. It gives you pride to take care of something, and make it your own.

In September the news of Ethan’s suicide changed me. For the first week after I just listened to books everything else just seemed irrelevant. I regretted not calling him the Friday before or even that morning. I was struggling with a depression of my own, and kept to myself. It’s not that I feel I would have changed things, but I don’t know. He was away on duty for the summer so we hadn’t talked a lot lately. I think about him every day. Sometimes I cry sometimes I smile. I have a hard time sleeping a full night’s sleep anyway, so that’s when I think back about a memory. He’ll always be with me as that person who I write about constantly in this blog that just gets it. I complain all the time about people that don’t, and rarely do I focus on the ones that do. That gives me strength to keep moving, that he treated me like anyone else I miss that, but in the 9 years I knew him it’s equal to a full lifetime. I remember when I moved to Louisville his first visit here he really got me over being homesick. Every time he’d visit after that it felt more and more like Louisville was becoming my home. He’ll always be here with me.

It’s taken me 2 weeks to write this part, because I wanted to do it right. I began the year with my little brother I was mentoring tried to commit suicide, and they were able to pump his system clean. He’s undergoing therapy, and is in a blind school now which is helping him. The pain of this all is just difficult, and I just don’t know. I went back and forth if I wanted to say anything, but I felt that I always talk about the funny times, but I really just enjoyed just hanging around watching YouTube videos or playing videogames. I just miss those things. I loved him because I just felt normal around him something that seems to be a struggle for me these days.

I’ve been working at getting my house ready for the Christmas get together with my family! I’m excited to see them. there’s going to be a lot of people here at one time but I’m excited. Today while I was getting my haircut I had a new lady cutting my hair so as a joke when she finished she said how does it look I said if she got me the mirror and moved it closer I would be able to tell her. I finally told her that I couldn’t see it all she thought it was funny. I think she felt kind of bad for ask me that question so I ended up tipping her well so I wasn’t an asshole hopefully. I’ve put my resume together for a few sporting jobs that I heard about so we will see. I went to Dave Chapelle last night with my friend Chris it was great seeing him. I think in life you will fail more than you will succeed but if you stop trying all together youlol never know. I just made that shit up I should start writing for fortune cookies. I had to end this somehow positively the last two paragraphs took me around 2 1/2 weeks to write, because every time I started I got emotional. Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and let’s have a good New Year.

Almost 24

I took today off because I have to work Christmas Eve and the day after, so I thought I would party. yesterday I went over to the casino with a few friends and we played blackjack. They did not allow me to use braille cards or offer any but they did allow hey staff worker to sit beside me and read the cards. it’s not my ideal situation but it worked. around 230 we went up to the hotel room that they had rented and we play with braille cards and I drink Miller light until about 530 this morning. I got about an hours sleep and I really wanted to go to Lexington and meet Matt Jones today. Taylor drove me while I slept. I really enjoyed meeting Mat and Ryan. Besides Opie and Jimmy and of course aunt I have a really paid much attention to radio for the last six months. The last few months though I’ve needed a few laughs to get through the day and listening to Matt has provided that one reason myself I always wanted to do radio.

I also got to meet Derek Anderson I probably shouldn’t of made a paragraph but I’m too lazy to fix it. Now to my blind problem of the day. So I have an apple time capsule oh which runs over my wireless network and backs up or did back up my mac mini at one time. I sold my Mac so now it pretty much is a network drive. i’ve wanted for a long time or about the month I’ve had Sonos to connect it to that unit and play some files off of it. I did some searching and found a few articles and could not get it to connect so I called tech support around 430 and the only thing I had wrong was I left the name of the system blank. I don’t know what I thought when I saw username but I never thought just right time capsule. It was pretty cool though they were able to remote into my home computer and fix the issue for me. I love technology and to tinker with it once in a while it outsmarts me and that’s why am a communication major, not a computer science major. Anyway on this drive I have music from literally the day I started downloading music on Napster so tonight I’m going to listen to a lot of old hip-hop. Ja Rule hahaha I almost forgot about him. music has been making me feel really old lately.

Monday night look for the end of the year post called a year in review I’m hoping it will be done by then either Monday or Tuesday. I’m going to do a little dancing to some DMX or Mos Def and then maybe get some sleep. i’m really just waiting for Taylor to get back with some carry out I’m starving.

Cancer and since when the hell did winter become a battle?

Earlier this week I wrote a blog about what I’d be doing this weekend, or maybe I post that on Facebook hell I don’t remember. Maybe I should start that over. i’ve been wanting to get into production on the radio side of things for a while I just love radio in general. A contact I made in Milwaukee about three years ago named Carl and I have been exchanging emails on how to become or where to start with production. He offered me an opportunity to come to Green Bay, and partake and doing production for the game tonight. I’m just not ready to go back to Green Bay yet someday I will but not this season. On Thursday I woke up at three pretty nervous, so I called Opie at that time of the morning I usually have two options for friends to call either Denny or Opie. I told him I was feeling some anxiety about going to Green Bay and how I just wasn’t ready even though it was a great opportunity. He said to me don’t worry about it if it stresses you out don’t do it. He said at this point anything I do with radio is secondary until it becomes my primary just stay happy.

My second option was I was going to take a road trip which I decided against, because I didn’t know the person all that well. So that left me with what am I going to do with my weekend? On Friday I was flipping through the radio when I landed on the Bobby V show. Bob wasn’t there, but I heard about a story that instantly made me realize what I needed to do. Bellarmine was got the approval to start Patrick McSweeney. If you’re not local and Louisville you may not of seen the story. Patrick has battled cancer since five years old, and coach Davenport, met him at a basketball camp. his dream was to play college basketball and today that dream came true for him. i’ve been to a lot of sporting events, and in my lifetime have seen some amazing things but today is exhibition game for me was maybe one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seen in my life. In life we often focus on the negative but when people like coach Davenport and Coach Pitino work together to make a kids dream come through by having to clear it with the NCAA is pretty remarkable.

In December I went to the Kentucky Louisville game and Lexington with a guy named Kevin who is battling cancer. Myself had cancer and is the reason I’m blind Kevin is in a wheelchair. Kevin is a big Kentucky fan, so I called him on Friday and asked if you would like to come up and go to a real arena? I have to get my digs in early because that team in Lexington looks to be special. He said he would look at trying to find a ride, and was able to. The only memory I have from today’s game other than conversations with Kevin is from Patrick and Chris Jones scoring 10 points right away. The moment both made me smile and brought a tear to my eye at the same time.

Kevin and I talked about some of his recent treatments as well as my own. Regarding my eyes I don’t really remember the operation because I was a baby. I do remember going to Riley Children’s Hospital would seem like a lot when I was a child. I hated the damn car ride it seem like my house to Indianapolis took forever. I hated going, because some person was going to mess with my eyes meaning take them out and I hated the way people would forcefully do that. when I got older I didn’t mind it because I could do it myself, but when I was a kid I hated people messing with them. My doctor used to have to tell me stories about Thurman Thomas while taking them out to distract me or someone would sit on me. After eight years I was out of remission which meant I only had to go to Riley once every year until I was 18. as I got older the trip Scott shorter which was nice. Another memory I have from the hospital was they would stick me in a x-ray machine for like an hour at a time. I hated it because I was separated from my family. I remember I would cry by myself and the x-ray machine, and some nurse would try and tell me funny nursery rhymes.

The worst memory I have of all of my childhood would be this one. someone in my family thought it would be a great idea or maybe it was the blind school that I should go down and attend the blind school for some sort of preschool. my mom took me down on a Saturday and I think I was again somewhere around four or five. she left me and stay with a relative. It’s really embarrassing to talk about this now but I hated being with strangers and not having my mom. I remember them trying to tell me things would be okay but I knew it just wasn’t normal. Thank God they took me home and I never really had to go back. I hated that place. I did go back to a camp later my childhood, and it was okay I hated it when I was a young kid.

When I was going through my cancer I was only the 75th case at Riley Children’s Hospital that they had seen. My mom tells me that the doctors really wanted to just perform experiments on me that they didn’t feel they could save me. One dr. decided that he thought he could do an operation where he would have to remove one of my eyes. They realize though unfortunately the cancer had grown too much and was in both eyes so they had to remove everything optic nerve and all. They then put in an artificial muscle that is red it controls the movement of my fake eyes today. The same muscles have been in since I was born I hear they can go bad and that’s a painful operation I’m keeping my fingers crossed they stay healthy. Talking to Kevin today it’s funny you can be cancer but it’s a hell of a fight and it usually take something from you. This life has been crazy especially this year. In the past month I’ve question a lot of things, like why do things happen a certain way? I don’t really have any answers so sorry if you were hoping for one. Going back through my bouts with depression and there have been a lot from not being able to drive to just the way people can treat you. if you read this blog it regularly you’ll see I still struggle with taking my dog places or getting a ride things that into thousand 14 blind people shouldn’t struggle with. The unemployment rate is alarming and it’s just brushed aside and every organization or people are tired of hearing about it. Even myself have created stereotypes of what blind people can or can’t do but the truth of the matter is that it is up to the individual. What is great about people is we’re not robots we are not programmed to just deal with one type of situation. And times of tragedy we come together and moments of weakness we find strength and above all we persevere.

A lot of times people fear or feel sorry for people with disabilities. It often seems to me that I spend most of my time wondering why people can’t just see me as normal. It was nice today talking about this with Kevin because he himself to said since being in a wheelchair people talk to him as he were a child and it’s hard for him to find that normalcy. Most of the time when we talk it’s about basketball or how he is feeling or what treatment he’ll have to do next but the thing I admire most is how we have that connection even though it’s different it’s the same cancer changed us. thank you to Louisville and Bellarmine for allowing such a moment for Patrick McSweeney and for allowing his dreams to come true and may be showing some others dreams are still possible.

I saw this headline Fischer to announce snow and ice ‘battle plan’, 10:16 PM. Isn’t the plan the same since I don’t know 2004? People act as if snow and ice never happen. why is this a headline? it really should just be Fisher says salt and trucks are ready for first snow, but I digress.

Prank calls!

What memory I’ve been thinking about lately is how in college I started prank calling places with my friends. My friend Ethan or Paul I’m not sure which now found this place called the Sybaris. It basically is a place where people go and have sex you pay by the hour. They had this really dumb jingle Ethan sent me in an email at one point. During the day sometimes the pass the time we would call the Sybaris and I would harass the workers. One call I remember and detail where I asked her about the rooms they had and if I could rent softcore or hard-core pornography? I told her I was bringing my girlfriend and finally got to the point where I asked her if she would join in? That was the point she hung up. We literally talked about 15 minutes before that point.

I got tickets to the March madness tournament here in Louisville two or three years ago. I originally invited my friend Denny but he couldn’t make it and so I called Ethan last minute and he came down. We went to the first set of games just fine! Then we decided to go to a restaurant to eat everything was packed but we found a pub on forth street I have been to a few times. It’s now close which makes me sad a bit but oh well continue with the story. I’m dictating of had a few beers so sorry about the mistakes. It’s been a crazy night I’ll explain at the end. Not real crazy I mean but I went out and made a decision on a job and radio. Anyway we went to this place and ate dinner we had a hard time getting a table but we finally got one this guy came over and talk to us for a second and I remember he farted and then walked away. We had started drinking at this point so it was a bit funny for some reason. After dinner Kentucky was playing but we never made it back to the games we decided to go outside and listen to the concert instead. I honestly didn’t feel like drinking at the time but ethan said this girl got me something so I should drink later on I found out he was just buying them for me and saying so but I guess it worked at the time. I left Robin at home so I had my cane. I remember we went into a club where again he told me a girl bought me some drinks but it was just him I don’t even know what they were they were orange flavored. We sat on the couch and talk for a while and we both said and felt rain on us which was weird because there’s a second level I’m not exactly sure what the water was so we moved. Looking back I’m glad I drink now because it was a really good time not because of alcohol but it was just funny. He was going to drive home but I decided we had too much so we took a cab instead and the next day we went back and got his car but when we got home I decided to call the dating service through the phone that they advertise late night on television. That was sort of another tradition we would do. Of course we would never be serious I would get someone on the phone and then pretty much just be as disgusting as I could be. We only had 60 minutes so you might as well use it well. I don’t know what really made me think of this memory but I just thought I would share it always made me happy!

I have an opportunity to do some sporting events this weekend as far as production on the radio. I’ve really been thinking about it not going through with it a few weeks ago I went to the LSU game with my friend Neil and it was pretty amazing. I really miss radio it’s my passion. I’ve taken the last six months off not really by choice but so I didn’t get sued and I’m really thinking about getting back into it. If I do though it will be on my terms I don’t really want to travel around so much anymore I like being home. The last few months I really do thank Opie, Denny, and Phil no particular order they’ve been there every step of the way for me I can’t thank them enough and I love them throw Carlos in there as well. I have an opportunity to go to Green Bay and do some production for the Packers game thanks to an email I sent about a month ago. I was going to do something else just take a road trip but I’m not sure. I’ll let you know when I finally decide I really have to know tomorrow I was there will be hard to go back to Green Bay I haven’t been watching NFL much lately. I’ve caught a few quarters here and there but overall just haven’t had the interest. I really had a interest and production lately versus broadcasting I just love radio and general something always draws me back to it. Opie keeps nudging me to come back ironically I met a a Louisville personality today and we had a pretty good conversation about the Cardinals the crazy Kentucky Wildcats how great their gonna be in basketball this year it was kind of an interesting conversation. For the record I think the 40 and zero predictions are a little crazy that’s very difficult and they’re very young. Regardless of the talent you’re going to have a few growing pains.

Diarrhea of the pin

i’m taking my radio to the ballpark to listen to Larry AndersonThe past two days I’ve been having difficulty sleeping. The first night I thought it was due to Erica being here and energy of the city, but she’s not here right now so obviously that’s not the issue. I found myself listening to guys that I idolize growing up in radio. Some of the clips I found on YouTube brought back a lot of painful memories of growing up in the country with no transportation, and wondering what it would be like to live in a big city what you get around. Some clips made me cry because I generally miss hearing those guys. I miss Santo, skip Carrie, and Harry Kalice. I was thinking about Harry this morning since I’m getting ready to go to Philadelphia.

I remember being in college and coming home in the afternoon to catch a baseball game and when I turned on the radio I heard something different. Scott and Larry the Phillies announcers were calling the game but crying throughout it. I remember listening to the entire game and thinking to myself that had to be the hardest broadcast they’ve ever done. I found a little bit of the pregame on YouTube, and just the memory of it brought me back to that day when I listened to it live. I’ve often heard people tell me that I bet you like Radio more than television because of the fact you can’t see it, but I don’t think that’s true. Rather I like radio, especially with baseball because it moves at a pace where the broadcaster becomes a part of your life. These days corporate sponsorship has taken over they can’t go five words without bringing up a company, or hearing the phrase here’s your Taco Bell crunch of the game. Regardless though at times of my life when going through tough times being blind or well that’s pretty much it. Haha baseball in the broadcasters have been there but I think that’s why it means so much to me that it’s hard to walk away from. This is the first weekend in a few months where I’ve pushed being awake so long, and since Erica has been in my life I’ve been sleeping seven-hour nights which is very unusual for me. I work hard and reach out and contact several radio shows to see about purchasing scripts or comedy or anything to get my name known.

For me Ron Santo was a tough loss as a fan. I saw him as a role model because he had diabetes that he played with as a player, he lost two legs but still made it to every Cubs game! It’s often times immolated now but he was a true fan and he brought that to the broadcast booth. You could tell days he didn’t feel good, but he still was there. After my grandpa died I remember listening to a Cubs game and Ron’s voice would just lift me up.

For me I’m humbled to have been able to hear these guys and many more that I didn’t write about. I think to myself that I might be weird loving broadcasters so much but baseball is a long season. I have to say things of been pretty fortunate for me that I’ve been able to come to New York see Sirius’s studios and last time I was here I saw z100 which is an iconic station in New York. I went to church recently with Erica, because she asked me to go and I enjoyed myself. Not necessarily because of finding Jesus or anything but I found an hour of peace where I can examine myself and think clearly. I’ll never be able to be that religious guy, but the way that some people view religion is how I view radio. Not that Opie and Anthony or my Jesus, but sometimes hearing a baseball game will pick me up out of a bad place or listen to a segment in the morning before work of Opie and Anthony will make me feel better about that day. I remember in college I started using recreational drugs is how ill put it here. I remember one night I went out drinking and then I came back to the dorm my minds foggy after that but I woke up with a bag in my pocket and $40 missing from my bank account. I remember going on a car ride with people I didn’t know and putting so much trust in them which was stupid. I remember listening to Kidd Chris and he was going off about why you shouldn’t do drugs or why he never did them and it touched me. For me that was the deciding point to stop so I did the biggest thing I saw was people who were doing drugs were weird. I would be at parties with these guys who were not going anywhere in life let’s just say and I didn’t want to go down that road. I do remember turning the church as well and trying to get more involved, but kind of like here I just never felt like I fit in. The day I woke up with the bag in my pocket I didn’t make it out of bed until around two and my parents came into town and I felt just embarrassed for myself. I don’t understand how I can start talking about baseball announcers and I get into talking about that? I have diarrhea of the pin. I guess finishing this off at the time in college when I was a freshman or sophomore a lot of girls would treat me differently they would be distant. It’s kind of been that way most of my life I also just broken up with a girl probably there usually to blame like Jimmy Buffett says. When I would smoke I would get lost and feel part of a crowd it took the edge off. It wasn’t real except for the stoners thought I was cool because they were smoking with the blind guy. I guess one final story on that my friend who I will leave nameless and I went to his house and smoke out of a Pepsi bottle he cut up. We drove to Taco Bell and then he dropped me off away from my dorm because there were police around and it snowed and I got lost. So here IM high as hell lost with Taco Bell in my hand. All I knew was that somewhere there were police. I called my other friend who is working and he came and got me I remember going upstairs and going into my room and I got freaked out because in my brain there was like a weird flash. I didn’t forget it because I really felt the sensation of something I’ve never felt before. I said that I saw something but I don’t think that was it because I have fake eyes eyes, but just maybe it triggered something in my head I don’t really know if that makes any sense but it was enough for me to quit. It really freaked me out! I think I’ll end the post here.

New York

I need to catch you up with what’s going on my life with dating, real estate, and other things but I want to talk about the Accessable TV box I just saw. I had all this free time and then I started dating and it went away. Haha just kidding. It’s been a dream of mine as I said for about the last 10 years to have a talking cable box. There is so much access when watching TV I do not have currently. If I want to view what’s on TV I have to use my iPhone and search the Internet or use a TV listings app same with my DVR have to use my application I cannot just sit down my couch and use a remote. Now onto why Time Warner had me come to New York rather than Louisville. The technology in Louisville is not truly Time Warner is more like Comcast I’m told. When they ask me to come I jumped at the opportunity because I’ve been wanting to see this forever now.

I have to be honest when I turn on the TV and heard the voice I got so happy that it’s almost indescribable. For me this is something that should’ve been done along time ago I don’t know how to television industry keeps ignoring blind people and why lobbyist keep turning efforts to delay descriptive audio. Pres. Obama went first running put up a website touting efforts for how he was going to assist people with disabilities, but yet all I’ve seen our delays. Descriptive audio was to be mandated by the FCC for networks to have a certain amount of hours by 2008 then I got delayed 2011 and then again to 14 and now to 16. This is on acceptable I understand lobbyist have power, but why are we getting defeated by the United Kingdom and accessibility. Most primetime shows and United Kingdom have descriptive audio and is easily accessible by touching a button. Here only PBS has a few hours a day of descriptive audio content. This isn’t no way political blog that’s not why started this I just don’t understand why we keep delaying the inevitable? The United Kingdom again has these talking boxes but when I asked Time Warner when we would see them in United States there still at least a year away from launch and if the merger happens between Comcast and Time Warner all bets are off.

I was able to view the guide information such as what was on right now what would be on the future for days out and I could even view filmography’s and bios for actors and actresses in the show. I could choose to record a show record a series and had full DVR capabilities. I turn on the TV and heard it say on now the Steve Harvey show you give me the time left and even a brief description of what the show is about I could mute the speech pause the speech or listen to it speak but it was pretty amazing. I guess for the first time with television I felt normal it was just me and the remote it wasn’t me the remote my phone a laptop or whatever else I used to access the Internet for information. I really want one right now! I did get some feedback with speech and ways to maybe speeded up sighted people don’t understand that we use speech every day so if it goes slow it’s a bit annoying for us to listen to were so used to hearing it fast that that’s what we need. Other than that it was a great product and I appreciate them allowing me to see it and spend an hour or so with the box.

I will quickly go over what is happened in the last few days. We came to New York last night and went to a restaurant called no boo I’ve wanted to go there forever! The crab was amazing Jamison Winston would definitely have tried to steal it. Haha after dinner everyone wanted to go to the Empire State building and see the view. I was not really into it because truthfully I thought it would be boring. I decided to humor my friends and go along, and I’m glad I did. We got off the elevator Erica walk me over and describe the scenery to me. She was pretty in depth and it was sweet of her to do so. I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all and actually could picture what she was describing. Obviously is not the same experience that you would get but I did enjoy my time. It was cool hearing the sound from that far above from the city I enjoy that part. I was happy to spend the night with Erica in New York I felt feelings that I was not sure I had. She read this so I have to be careful what I say. I would just end my thought with this I’ve never felt so comfortable around someone that it truly is a nice experience to have and I’m lucky to be experiencing it. She is a gem.

I toured serious XM studios today as well! I actually decided my dreams of doing Radio have changed and for the first time I’m okay with not getting as far as I had wanted to go with it. I got a chance to talk with my friend Opie and I will in this post with his quote. Don’t be ashamed of trying the only shame is never trying the last three years I watch you struggle to find who you wanted to be and I’ve seen you become something other should strive to be. I think that’s how it ended close enough. I’m a bit tired after all I’m in the city that doesn’t sleep and I was pretty excited for things today, but the Yankee game is been postponed so I’m going to sleep soon. We’re taking a train back to Philadelphia so I can see Neil’s house I’m pretty excited about that.