I don’t really know what happened today

This should probably remind you a little bit of the older posts. let me just start with the current and then I’ll work my way backwards. I was supposed to have a date, but about 30 minutes before I went I texted her to see what she was doing and to make sure everything is still good. What we had a little conversation and lo and behold I ended up not going. she said at one point and her text message that she wasn’t comfortable going out with someone who couldn’t make eye contact with her. my exact response was well nothings changed since the first time I met you so I still can’t make eye contact After that I just stopped responding. I ordered a pizza and demolished it and now I feel sick.

Today I met a very nice Lyft Driver while I was picking up Robin from Petsmart. Her bath went well. I used our para transit system to get there and then Lyft to get home so I didn’t have to stand around so long. I apparently standing around wait too long though because five people asked me if I had a ride and I said yes. I thought it was nice of people to care though. So anyway I get into the ride and I wasn’t sure how it was going to go you never know with the dog. His name is Tim from South Carolina and he asked me how I became blind so I told him about my cancer. then he said I was positive and proceeded to tell me that while I was getting into the car about five people gathered behind me open mouth amazed that I was getting into a car. I told him my view on that where it’s either I’m Superman or handicapped there’s not much in between I still go by that. If you miss those discussions check the earlier writings. I think there are very few people who break down the barriers. I read an article earlier this week about touchscreen devices where the author of the article did no research and her first paragraph this was on the wire by the way and her first paragraph she states one sector of the population Who are left out in the cold from using touchscreens are the blind. I know I use dictation a lot but it’s because I’m lazy I could type on the touchscreen and I use them every day. furthermore if she would actually pole blind people or have asked one person rather than probably depending on the sighted person she referenced in the article she would’ve found that a high percentage of blind people use a touchscreen device. Anyway I just thought it was interesting he noticed how people stood around Gawking.

Earlier today I posted a Facebook article about parents having to provide their children’s passwords to the schools and Illinois. at first I was pretty upset by this, and I just pondered where our freedoms went? then I went to the gun range and had a moment of clarity. literally there sometimes I have brilliance and I go on rants and get worked up and then I wonder why what is it for? initially I was on the side of the parents and wonder why this was happening? Then it came to me so quickly it was shocking. Who gets blamed more than anything in the case of bowling or any issues that don’t happen in the home? That simple the school. when someone gets bullied and you watch the news I guarantee you 95% of the time it falls back on to the school. not the asshole child or the parents home situation nothing else gets brought up but how the teachers or someone at school neglected the situation. so my final thought on this is you get what you deserve parents if you’re going to blame the school don’t bitch when they start impeding on freedom. I don’t have kids so it doesn’t fucking matter to me. hahaha my final thought on the whole issue is freedom is really A disguise we like to pretend we still have. I’ve been listening to this podcast called criminal where this guy was jailed for three months because he appeared on a video tape they had and a sex offender case. i’m not going to be good at explaining the case so you may want to listen because I probably won’t do it justice but in a nutshell. The guy they arrested the innocent one met a girl online who is the sex offenders wife he had videotaped rolling in his house police seized the videotapes finding this guy they posted his picture on the news thinking he was guilty of the crimes. The guy lost his job spent three months in jail and says that people still acted nervous around him. yet we’re supposed to be innocent until proven guilty you could go more high-profile if you wanted and find similar cases but really the freedoms we have sometimes our a disguise. Even when you pay the time for a crime it’s often not forgotten or wiped off your record just my thoughts for the day. I had a lot of clarity shooting that gun didn’t I?

When I dropped off Robin and came home for a second I realized how lonely I am without her. I kept stepping on the pig and she didn’t come, or when we were driving to the gun range I kept looking on the floor for her and just felt my cane. I used to think that after she retired I would just be able to move on to the next dog, but I’m not sure anymore. I started reflecting on how much of my life she’s been part of and it was crazy. She’s been here for Ethan’s wedding baseball games, movies, jobs, football games, basketball games, my ups and downs, and just everywhere I’ve been. It’s crazy when you think about it I think of her as like a daughter it’s different than a pet. most people don’t take their pet on a plane to Arizona navigate their bus system get lost for a little while find your way those stories just aren’t there but Robin’s part of everyone for me. And the last hour I’ve been reflecting on that it’s been a little somber tonight.

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