Monthly Archives: March 2014

Louisville and Kentucky thoughts Blind photography and Saturday!

Sorry for not having a post for today and tomorrow, but on Saturday I will be taking lots of pictures at slugger field. Tomorrow like the entire state of Kentucky I will be concentrating a lot on the Louisville Kentucky game. If the Cardinals win they will win the NCAA championship both teams have improved since the last time they played Kentucky wins size, but I think Louisville has more heart. At the end of the season Louisville finally played like I thought they would the entire season. Go cards!

A Christmas I

So today I Will tell you a funny Christmas story about how I all most lost my eye. It was Christmas Eve and I couldn’t sleep I was anticipating waking up Christmas morning. I remember listening to the radio being bored. I took out my eye and started playing a game of ketch. Everything was great for about five minutes until I miss judged my eye, and it bounced off my hand and I hear it hit the register that goes to the basement. I looked around for it, and couldn’t find it. My eyes cost 5 grand a set, and I was scared I’d get yelled at.

I woke my dad and advised him of the situation. My brother and dad went to the basement and tore apart the furnace. At this point it is 1:00 A.M… They came up from the basement frantic, because my eye wasn’t anywhere to be found. My mom went upstairs at this point and found my eye 1 foot to the left of the register. Christmas was saved. My brother said he would bet we were the only family up searching for an eye on Christmas morning.

Dating and meeting parents

I pressure myself a lot on first dates. I try not to show it, but whenever I go out with anyone on a date I get a bit uncomfortable. Once I know someone for a while I settle in, but I struggle with trying to show I’m confident and capable I think I over compensate at times. Last night my friend Pat texted me, and asked if I would want to go out on a date with someone he knew from his church. I agreed, because honestly the last 3 weeks or so have been pretty deflating. I quit Clear Channel and didn’t get a job in baseball this year.

We met at a restaurant, and right away I had to shake off something that annoyed me. The waitress asked Nikki my date what would he like to drink? Why not just ask me? I spoke up and said he would like water. I phrased it just like that. I’m blind not deaf. It’s really hard for me anyway to go why anyone would want to be with someone who gets viewed like this. I’m sure I’m harder on myself than I should be, but I really am trying to be seen as desirable not worthless. After that little snag everything else went pretty well. We had a lot in common from music to sports. I’m pretty excited no matter where things decide to go.

Meeting someone’s parents can be pretty nerve racking for me as well. I remember when I met Lexi’s parents for the first time. Blind people don’t even make up 1% of the population, so it’s conceivable that you could go through your entire life and not meet anyone blind. When first meeting anyone I don’t care who it is there instantly is this response you get where it’s like you’re instantly Superman or pitied. A lot of people put themselves as blind and that’s not a real fair comparison, because you use sight for everything, so of course it would be scary. Anyway I remember meeting Lexi’s parents, and I was so nervous. It was the first time I really had met a girl’s parents, so I wasn’t sure what to do. I wanted to be extra manly for them to show I could protect their daughter, so the first time in my life I was pretty quiet. I over thought everything, and took myself out of my normal element. I’d like to tell you that life gets easier the more you do it, but talking with a friend the other night I’m not sure. He is married to a woman and they’re both blind. Her parents and he had arguments in the beginning where the parents tried to break them up since he is blind. They felt there daughter should be with someone who could protect and provide for her. Again I’m just stating what he told me, and his experience. Mine has been similar. It makes my head and heart hurt some times to be completely honest. My family still doesn’t get it, so it’s hard to fathom someone will. I try to remain upbeat, but the rejections are piling on me.

I remember driving to Evansville to see my niece being born. My grandpa in the car said if I found a sighted girl he’d buy her a car. A week later I nearly died from alcohol poisoning. When people put you in a spot where it’s like you need to find someone with sight or try to dictate what I need it really gets me down. I don’t look at the world in that way. I never would date anyone just because they had sight or just because they didn’t. I know a lot of women exclude me as a legit partner and that makes me sad, but in the end it’s there loss.

A lot of times too you’ll get women that want to be your mom rather than a girlfriend. I have one mom I don’t need another. I dated a girl once that would put on what she thought I would want to watch, and wouldn’t let me use the remote myself. When I wanted to watch something different she’d come in and change it. Needless to say I was out of that quickly. In a relationship I want to contribute my 50% not 5 or 10. Hell I might even contribute 80%. I used to think a relationship was 50 50, but the older I get I realize it never is quite equal. That has nothing to do with blindness, but people can’t be 50/50 all the time it is impractical.

This is kind of a sad post so something funny will be coming today

Football

I never want my blindness to limit what I do. If I ever say out loud I am not going to try something, because I’m blind then I’ve failed somewhere. When I was younger in elementary no one really saw me as blind. I pretty much played alongside everyone else. Kickball, basketball, dodge ball, and football.

I remember playing football in the second or third grade I was out on defense trying to intercept the ball when my mouth collided with the back of someone’s head. I started bleeding and had to go to the nurse. A lot of times I would be the center, but I loved running around trying to make a play.

Recently on Thanksgiving I went to my friend Neil’s house. When I moved to Kentucky holidays have been pretty lonely. I usually have to work the day after a holiday, so I can’t go home. The last two Christmas’s I’ve been alone. After dinner we decided to play football, and I ended up being the running back. After Neil would give me the ball he’d tell me what direction to run, before getting tackled. It worked out for most of the game, until the end where he got his directions messed up. He told me to go left when I should have went right, and I fell head first over a bush. I hit my shoulder pretty hard on the ground, but I held on to the ball for a touchdown. For a pilot it’s pretty serious to be bad with directions. Even though it hurt a bit I love getting out and running there is some sort of freedom about it.

Disappointment it’s time to set new goals.

I just got a call tonight from Fox sports Arizona, and I did not get the job. They offered me part-time work, but why would I move halfway across the country to do part time work? I’m pretty bummed, because they flew me out there and the best they could give me is part-time work? I’m moving on from broadcasting, because the work is not worth the reward. It’s weird to have your dream die in a call, but that’s how I feel. I don’t care about the rejection it’s the fact that I’ve worked so hard and put in so much time it’s kind of insulting actually. Out of the other three candidates I was the only one who had any affiliation with the MLB.

Tetherball

I don’t know what made me think of this but when I was younger I used to play tetherball outside at recess. There is no bell on the ball or any difference, but when I would do is stand there and try to hit the ball when it came close to me. A few times the ball was hit me in the face or in the chest. Most of the time somehow I would make contact with the ball. I remember one time though I hit the pole on accident with my face and then got hit with the ball in the head. It is amazing after all of my shenanigans I still have brain cells. Tetherball used to be my favorite game during recess, I don’t remember why I just love to hit the ball. I could win without any adapting the game. My next post I will talk about my adventures playing football.

For the first time I’m starting to see Robins age.

Obviously this week is a little different. I flew to Phoenix, slept little, and have done a lot of activities. Yesterday was no different. I woke up at 4 o’clock to watch the Dodgers Diamondbacks season opener, and stayed awake all day. I met Ethan and Whitney downtown and we did a bourbon tasting and saw Donnie Baker from the Bob and Tom show. We didn’t get back to my apartment until around 1030. Robin ate dinner I left her here while we went to Chili’s. When I came home she was more lethargic than normal. Obviously I know she can’t live forever, but at the same time I’ve been teamed with her longer than most relationships in my life, so it is a strange feeling. Obviously if I get my new job will be doing a lot of traveling, and well when she was younger she would’ve loved this I’m not sure how things will go now. Maybe I’m just overthinking things, but tonight was the first time I’ve seen her just have no energy.

I hope you like my pictures. That is a little art I will be sharing with you! I call it blind photography.