Today was pretty rough and shitty as days go. The Seeing-Eye came out to help with an issue we were having at work with other dogs. After witnessing the dog issue it was recommended that I retire Frasier. The news hit me hard, because I felt maybe there could be a way to fix it. The heartache returned it felt like losing Robin all over. My throat got tight and I literally couldn’t;t talk for about 15 minutes after they left. Frasier has brought me some hard work and his barking was an issue for me, but I always felt I could overcome it. He healed a part of me that broke when Robin passed that I never thought would work again. I know most of you won’t get that at all, but these dogs are our partners.
Friday I was walking across a drive way and a car pulled out and Frasier backed me up. I couldn’t hear it because it was a hybrid. He saves my life Friday and Wednesday I’m retiring him and without a dog? Life is a tornado sometimes.
The crazy part is when talking to the Seeing-Eye if I have no one that can take him or if I can’t keep him basically I will know when he’s placed with someone but I no not much else. So again my buddy who did his job I know nothing on how he is doing or where he is. It’s not the Seeing-Eyes fault I guess I’m not trying to be a dick about all they’ve done it just is frustrating.
We’ve bonded I need a facebook or twitter connection to him just to get an update once and a while the not knowing where he is or how he is would kill me.
I left work early because I couldn’t do it, and came home and cried and held Frasier. I also ate a large pizza thanks I’ve been working hard on my figure. Frasier has become part of the family. Him and Bancroft play he follows me around like my shadow which I secretly love. He also now pushes the door open while I am in the bathroom to lay at my feet. God I don’t know why he does that. Lol but he does. I never thought time would be this short.
Thankfully when talking to my friends Jerry and Lee they offered to take him. They were looking for a dog they wanted a bit smaller than him but they’re excited to take him. This also works for me, because I can still visit. I want him to be there dog once I drop him off, but knowing he is in good hands has helped my mood and also the writing in this blog tonight. Tears have been lessened since I know where he will be, and that he’ll be with good people that I love. We went and visited them a few weekends ago and he loves the yard they have. He ran out for hours chasing his ball. Lee told me he will walk to there mailbox and back with them which is about a half mile I believe.
I did think about keeping him, but he is so young and if I get another dog it might be tough on him and also be a lot of dogs we have to care for. At this moment I will be collecting myself and try to figure out if I want to put myself through it again. It’s so hard I feel I failed him. I did everything they asked he just is a dog and didn’t respond to the conditioning. I called several times even asking for someone to come out and pretty much got ignored for some reason. Every time I got new advice on trying something, but maybe seeing what I was seeing would have helped things.
Monday when going to the bus it’s just me and the cane again. It’ll feel weird I’ve never walked this route with a cane so things Frasier took me around I’ll hit and curse and then move on. I know he wasn’t perfect none of us are really yet working dogs all most have to be. He was a great worker he picked up on things so quickly. For example in Louisville or most of America they never fix sidewalks so we have a lot of broken parts. Once I tripped on it, and Frasier never forgot it. Every time he would stop I could stick out my foot and there the broken sidewalk would be. I’d always thank him and scratch his chin. Even after a week off when I went to Germany when coming back I thought he’d forget nope like a champion he got it right. I’ve been thinking about all the things he’ll miss and we can’t do together and it just kills me. He was going to be in the wedding as my best man. Were not doing a wedding party to save us from all of the drama lol. Now in the blink of an eye it’s gone. I want him to enjoy his life and I know he will. I thank him for his short service, and thanks for being my dog and guide for the last several months. I know he’ll never understand how much that meant to me.