The wedding planning was going great until Abby called the park to check something and they said we had picked a smaller venue which we confirmed when ordering in December but whatever. Long story short we found a place and also a spot for the reception it will just be smaller than we intended. Making cuts was hard because I didn’t want to hurt anyones feelings. I think at the end of the day I did good with making a selection. All cousins are off the hook. I wanted y’all there, but we have a huge family. I also didn’t want to invite 1 and not another causing hurt feelings. I hope everyone understands Abby and I still love you.
It’s hard to believe were getting close to the wedding day. It goes fast. I leave for Germany in a week which I am looking forward to. I had to make a tough choice, but I think I made the right one. Germany has no ADA so it is up to each proprietor whether or not they would allow Frazier to enter there venue. I talked to some blind people who said they had good luck, but others who didn’t. I called the hotel and was told he could sleep at the hotel with me but couldn’t enter diners and such with me. Thank god for the ADA I know there is a bill trying to get rid of it, but it’s this bill that has brought so much progress for those with disabilities here in America. Shame on you congress and etc. for trying to over right the progress made here.
Frazier and I are doing well. We went on another trip about a month ago to SanDiego . I really want to go back and take Abby. They had so many audible traffic signals and walking around there was nice. Frasier was a champion. I am amazed with his ability to backtrack.Robin was good at this also, but he always remembers. He has had a barking issue and that still comes up from time to time, but he is getting better. I can’t wait to take him to a ball game which when we get back to Germany were going to one. I get back Sunday and we’re actually going Tuesday night.
I am typing this on an IPad Pro which I got recently. I wasn’t sure if I would like it, but I am going to sell my MacBook Air. Typing with a keyboard on this thing feels great, plus with multitasking with apps it’s just as nice as my Mac was. Plus it’s more portable at the end of the day. I am not much of a computer user these days anyway. I decided to go with the cellular version on T-Mobile. One cool thing is I am leasing it month to month so when the next IPad comes out I can give it back for the new one if I want. Work also wanted me to get one so they are pitching in money also which is worth it.
Abby and I have been playing with a new service called Aira also. We love it. The first time Abby used it she went up and was able to get her own drink from a soda fountain. Basically how Aira works is you have glasses that connect you to an agent who can see from the camera in the glasses. They also can see where you are with GPS. I used it in Chicago to get me to the pet relief area in the Airport, and also to find my gates that changed 2 or 3 times. It’s awesome, because you don’t have to ask for assistance you can get the info from the Aira agent and then do it yourself. If I had waited to get an Airport worker in Chicago that would have waisted time depending on how much time until your next flight things may not be possible to do anyway.
I will make notes while in Germany and do an update when I get home. T-Mobile gives me free data while there so I’m glad that isn’t a concern. I love them as a company and coverage is getting better all of the time. In Louisville it is better than Verizon with speeds and in buildings which surprised me. Anyway I hope all of you are well. I am going to miss Abby, Bancroft, and of course my boy while I am gone. I have to go back to the dreaded cane. I hope to do some travel on the train while I am there. I’m also working on taking a ride on the autobahn I want to go over 100. I have 2 free days so only god knows what kind of trouble I can get in to. Lol I will just miss my family back in KY for sure.
Day 3 was interesting to say the least. I woke up at 6:45 because I don’t really know why. I slept like a rock I forgot my melatonin, but the few hours I got were great. Robin was wining so I put on my shoes and took her out. We went to a nice little place for breakfast.
Denny and I need to find a way to podcast 96 percent of are conversations are funny the other 4 you wouldn’t care about. Anyway he has been telling me I care way to much about things so I am trying to relax. I thought this was cool but for breakfast she took me to this painting and coffee thing. Now I am not a great painter, but I made it work. She held my hand and we brushed together. While she wasn’t holding my hands I painted where ever I wanted. It’s safe to say her half looked better. It was a lot of fun though. I let her keep it. She traced my finger along the canvas once it dried and she made the city of Toronto. She said she wanted me to feel how it was shaped. It was beautiful, and I thought really sweet.
After that we went back to the hotel, and she left to get a change. She didn’t want to show up to work in the exact thing as yesterday. I had a meeting a friend of mine arranged at a station so I went over to that. It ran way long, because I was recording a radio thing. Anyway I met Monica back at the Jays game. It was a crazy game the parts I got to see. I had to eave early so I missed the ending my scores alerts tell me they lost. I wished Monica well and told her she made the trip a lot of fun. She hugged me and we kissed and I left. Truthfully I’m not good at these things at all. Maybe are paths will cross again maybe not, but she helped me realize things about myself. I think we can be are worst critics. As people we tend to group bad events and let them dictate how we view things. I’ve been on a lot of bad first dates, and have had crazy things happen and it was nice not to have that. Whatever the future is I will be patient and stop looking for it because if loves meant to be it’ll find me. That’s what I’m taking away from this experience. See Denny I do listen to you. Happy fathers day to you, Phil, and my dad. I sent my dad a text on Verizon which means I sent a international text I’m sure that will cost me. Oh well nothing will ever cost as much as when I was voting for Sanjia on American Idol in college I learnt the meaning of a $2 text. Thanks Howard Stern. haha I wanted to go see the Niagara Falls, but didn’t make it there. Meeting Monica my plans changed quickly. The flight home was great. No one really bugged me about Robin the entire time it was really smooth. Well I guess now it’s back to work….
This will be a pretty long update so strap in. Yesterday was day 2 of my Toronto adventure. One thing I didn’t talk about in my first post was that I was really worried about traffic. I knew it would probably be about the same, but I was worried I’d encounter something I wasn’t familiar with in the states. That hasn’t happened thankfully. The traffic sound normal it’s really busy most of the day I’ve seen, so it’s easy to tell the traffic serge.
Yesterday where do I start it was a full day. I got to piss in a shark urinal I guess I will start there. I went to this bar, and went to use the bathroom, and was told the Journal was shaped like a sharks head. Now one thing I will say when I got Robin urinals a harder, because I used to use my cane and bump it, so now I have to use my leg which I do not like. I was for the life of me trying to see what it looked like but I couldn’t touch it so I just pissed and hoped for no splash back thankfully there wasn’t. It was not trough thankfully.
The Jays game again was great another hell of a game. The Jays had the bases loaded and with no outs and couldn’t score so they lost. That was the biggest inning of the game. Monica came and sat by me during some of the game and I learned about her. We decided to go out to eat together for dinner. I asked her if she liked thai I saw a few places near by, and she said she loved it. I left her and went to the aquarium since she had to finish up working.
At the aquarium I got to touch a stingray. That was pretty neat other than that though like my friend Kim said it was a bunch of fish behind glass. haha I did learn some things though.
I walked to the thai place which was pretty far or at least further than I was participating. I wasn’t sure if this place would give me trouble with Robin, but I was surprised how open they were. I used to live next to a Thai place in Muncie when I lived downtown. I would take long walks and then stop by for dinner. The owner would give me a neighbor discount which I thought was nice. I really miss that small-town atmosphere. Anyway Nute I think her name was came out and asked me what I wanted I found out she was the owner. Monica ordered hers and then I got something spicy. I love the heat. It didn’t dissapoint. It was noodles and shrimp and peppers.
Monica told me she had a blind sister, and so when she met me on Friday I inspired her. She told me her sister lost complete sight a year ago when she was 16. I told her I thought that would be tougher, because she’ll remember things where I can’t. My friend Denny tells me storries of how he used to take off running when he lost his sight, because in his head he could still see and he would smack right in to a wall. We started talking about her and her studies. She is 25, and studying at Toronto University working in cancer research.
Eventually things got to me, and she asked me some tough questions. I told her about radio and things I’ve been through with it. I told her about turning down Detroit, and New York once. She asked me why I did that? I was honest about it I think I was nervous to fail. If I had moved to Detroit and got fired in the first month where wouldd I be? Plus I was honest at that time I was dating Lex and she was doing well on tv and her family was close so I knew she wouldn’t go. things fell apart for us after I turned the job down, but it is what it is. New York is great to visit, but I feel trapped there. People aren’t friendly either I just never liked it. Louisville has this big city feel, but where I live know one just drives down the road and it’s quiet. For me I need that. I said to it’s hard to walk away from making money to take a chance where I won’t. It’s not like blind people are not having trouble finding work. She laughed and asked if I would like to go on a walk with her? I decided well if I get mugged or set up I’m only crying my phone and a few dollars now. I took her elbow so I didn’t have to constantly follow her. At times while walking with someone it’s easier to do that also so your dog doesn’t get confused. We walked streets, and she explained to me about the landscaping bigger buildings, and how much things have grown or changed. I asked her a lot about the different providences, because I’ve always ben interested.
We walked around for about 2 hours just talking, and learning about each other. It was nice. She asked me at one point why I loved baseball? I simply said because I’m American. She laughed, and said seriously why would you fly in to mainly watch baseball? I told her I want to get back involved in some way. Out of everything in my life it’s been the most consistent thing over the years. I saw my grandpa after my grandma died just watch a lot of it to pass time. For me in my teen years it helped me cope with sight loss, or if I was feeling really depressed it gave me an outlet to get lost in. Why the fuck am I always so deep with my responses? Denny is right I like writing novels. You’d think college courses would have taught me something. She told me she wants to do a lot of research on breast cancer, because her mom died about 10 years ago from it.
Anyway we got back to my hotel, and I took Robin off duty. Her and Monica played for a bit until Robin got really sick. I ran her outside and she started puking. It was not pretty at all. Once she settled down I took her inside and got her some water. I get really nervous when Robin gets sick I just want to help her. She curled up on the bed and didn’t move for the rest of the night. Monica and I talked until about 4 this morning so she stayed over. I’m beat, but I guess I can sleep on the airplane home. I’m really glad Monica walked around with me yesterday. I engaged more with locals, but her explaining what was around us visually was great, and gave me a greater understanding. I’d definitely come back to visit. Robin seems to be okay today she ate breakfast, so I will take that as a good sign.
It’s been awhile since I’ve talked about the reason I’m blind. When I was a year old I was diagnosed with a cancer of the eye called Retnal Blastoma. Which after hearing the other names of eye diseases if I must say Blastoma sounds kind of spacey oriented. Pigmatosa or however you spell that just sounds horrible. Usually rental blastoma only takes one eye, but mine was caught late, so it took both. My mom and dad noticed me crawling in to walls or not looking at my food before I ate it, and decided to take me to Fort Wayne for a doctor to look at it. They were then sent on to Riley Children’s Hospital where I was the seventy fifth case in Indiana.
The doctors for the most part wanted to just use me for studies, and thought there wasn’t much chance to save my life. One doctor in particular said lets remove them, and try. They did and I made it. For the next 8 years of my life every 6 months I had to go to Indy for check ups. I remember the long ass drives to Indy when your a kid those things stick out. I felt like I spent more time there than most places. My childhood was really normal I climbed trees, chased goats around and tried to ride them like horses, played a ton of basketball. Being from Indiana that’s a requirement. I’ve often said I don’t remember being blind as being a problem until around puberty. Which is interesting. Maybe it’s the innocents of bing a kid I’m really not sure. That may have been a question as well, but I’m tired so forgive me we will just pretend it’s retorical.
When I first went to Riley my dad was farming pretty much full-time, and my mom might have been at the bank still, but was mainly a stay at home mom for the first few years of my life. They stayed at the Ronald McDonald house while I was going to my cancer treatment and they said that it was a really great place. They had enough worries not to have to worry about how they could afford a hotel on top of things. I’ve always been grateful for things that happened back then.
For being blind I’ve gone back and forth on emotions. I used to think one day I’d just get it, and I’d be 100% fine. I think being blind is for me easy most of the times. On a windy day, and I have a headache it’s a bit challenging to focus clearly. At work I hear a screen reader talking all day, and then people on the other side, so sometimes at night I come home and need a few minutes without noise. I used to think I could work really hard and make people understand I’m just like them I just can’t see. I’ve given up on that thought awhile ago. I think blindness is something most can’t get unless they’re faced with it. I wrote something a few years ago I liked, so I will share it now about cancer.
The myth is about cancer is that somehow you beat it, and life is magically better. the reality is usually cancer takes something from you, and then your hopefully left to deal with the aftermath. For example when people look at me I survived cancer, but they offen don’t even know that or would even focus on that they focus on the fact I’m blind. I can’t hide that it sticks out anywhere I go. A job interview it’s there. I’d love to be able to hide it when possible but Robin just won’t disappear for those interviews. Maybe I have a different perspective I haven’t really talked to a lot of survivors, so this is just my longwinded thoughts. I imagine anyone who survives breast cancer or something along those lines are still left with the scars. My thoughts on cancer really is yes you can win, but it leaves it’s marks.
That’s a little peace I found I wrote from a few years ago. Blind people are like anyone else we all are on are own levels, and we all have a different skill set. Like I said earlier I’ve gon through a lot of different struggles. My teen years I was probably depressed living in the country and I couldn’t drive like my friends. My friend/brother Brandon or Sean would pick me up a lot, but it wasn’t the same of having that freedom. I think right now I’m probably the healthiest I’ve been, because I realize the positives and negatives. Look being blind I’m truly an individual you can stand out easier if your upbeat. You can only play the cards you were delt and just move on. I think rather than being down and sad about things that aren’t going to change is pointless move on and make a difference. I think I will still struggle at times with not being able to see. I think a lot at nights when I can’t see the sky or stars that part kind of blows. I’ve never been married, but I feel a little weird about not being able to see my wife walking down the isle. I don’t know why that sticks out so much, but it does. I think it’s because in that moment your focusing on one beautiful woman coming to join you I jus think somewhere I’d be a bit sad but who knows. I think maybe just feeling her in her dress before hand might fix that but it’s something I’ve thought about over the years. I think in a weird way rather than face that I’ve pushed people away somewhat afraid to face that. Again did I mention I feel pretty healthy right now? You never stop learning in life, and you hopefully grow from mistakes if not you may want to start there. Haha that’s my advice.
Anyway christ that was long. Tonight I went to the Ronald McDonald house which is something I’ve been working on for awhile. I took some Derby pie that I got from a great place, and I worked with a catering company for the food so it was homemade Look I can cook certain things like burgers and crab legs but honestly I’m not the best at it. I make some mean Ramen noodles. Anyway my crab legs are amazing. Being blind doesn’t hamper me being able to cook it’s mainly laziness, and cooking for one sucks honestly. Why do I want leftovers? Anyway Everything came together very nicely. I also let Robin off work for a few people to play with. They loved it so did she. When we got home she was wound up and wanted to play ball a little more than normal. For a Bachelor I thought everything went off well! At first I was a little nervous, because the people I was working with hadn’t really ever interacted with a blind person, but thats pretty normal for me to work with these days. After a brief description of myself and explaining why I wanted to get involved it was fine. I met a little boy who I am going to try to take to a Bats game. No one likes to go to the Bats games with me my friends mainly hate baseball, so I usually go by myself because it’s my therapy. Also I realize how long the Reds are going to suck and that makes me smile somewhere inside if it were only the Cardinals instead. I can stomach Cincinnati but St. Louis just rubs me the wrong way being a Cubs fan. Anyway he knew a lot about the game, and so I will check with my Bats contact to see if we can make something happen. I asked him if he’d ever gone to a game and had a stadium hotdog? He said no, so we’ll have to change that. Again I don’t know why I feel this way, but nothings better than ballpark hotdogs. Milwaukee has sausages that are out of this world good literally. If I had to pick my favorite park for a hotdog it would be Miller hands down.
So a quick story on Robin. Yesterday I left her while I took a quick bus trip to see a friend for the afternoon. I left Robin with my friends Jerry and Lee. When I got back to there house Lee told me Robin must only like blind guys. She tossed a toy outside and Robin would just look at it, so she had to go pick it up herself. When Jerry would toss the toy Robin would go get it and bring it back to him. Lee can see I forgot to mention that part earlier. I just laughed about that. I am glad I left her the bus was so full. She is getting older, and I notice its harder for her to get small like she used to do.
Last night I locked myself out, because I left my house at 4:45 am and just wasn’t thinking clearly. I realized I left my keys at my house when I got to Indianapolis. I was so angry with myself, but I was like I am going to block it out until I get back, and just deal with it when I get home. The locksmith couldn’t get in to my lock, but we finally managed to get in a window. That saved me money, but I made a copy of my key to give to Jerry soon, so at least if I make the mistake again they’ll have it. When I was living in Indiana Robin scratched my shoulder waking me up and it was weird watching someone break in like that. I am glad I have a gun by the bed just in case. I bet in the dark we will be an equal shot so let that be a warning.
Today Pilot Niel and I flew up to Pittsburgh, and watched the pirates Cardinals game. He actually bought a new plane, and wanted to show it to me. Robin had her own seat she could stretch out on, but I think she stayed on the floor behind us. I wish he and his wife still lived here because I miss are random baseball trips. We were joking with each other today he told me I have to step up my game, because he found a guy in a wheelchair that makes him laugh, but I still win because the plane doesn’t have a ramp. It was hot today at the game, and Robin panted a lot I was sure to keep water on me, but I just notice some differences in her this year. Some lady came up to me and said she was beautiful, and that she had a miniature wiener dog. First off how can you say that with out smiling? I bet they have a complex like those damn Terriers. Neil is going to hang out here a few days which is cool before he heads back home. Robin is on my feet now wanting some attention. I am going to go to bed, because this weekend I didn’t get much sleep at all, so I am tired. Using the cane Saturday I realized how poor my cane skills have become. With the dog she just takes me through doors or to a door something I hadn’t thought about in a while. I did okay no bruises but maybe I need to go out with it a little more just in case. Robin did give me the third degree when I got back to Lee and Jerry’s she licked my hand smelled my legs and ran circles in the same motion.
I’ve been feeling a little fat lately, so I decided I would take a yoga class. Ethan used to call my stomach the circle tummy. I hate running, so that was out and I would ride a bike, but I don’t have someone to ride tandem with. My friend Kelci taught me some yoga poses a few years ago, so I thought why not. I called ahead to the class well emailed know one really calls anymore. Anyway I emailed the instructor advising I was blind with a little yoga knowledge. She was receptive and said I was welcome so I showed up.
It was great I learned a lot of the poses, and got a little one on one training if I didn’t understand what they meant by something. I was a little nervous, but it went well except for one thing. So during the yoga part I got relaxed, and farted. I couldn’t tell how dark it was or who knew it was me. Time passed and I thought yes I’m in the clear well after the class I went to untie Robin from her spot, and this lady came up to me and said don’t worry it happens to all of us. At first I was lost because I had moved on, so I said something like what? She said we’ve all passed gas in here from time to time. I just all most lost it.
This weekend is the frist of my Reds 6 pack games going to go see my Cubbies hopefully. I’m hoping it doesn’t rain. I took a video over the weekend and sent it to a few of my friends that work with the Tigers. I got a responce today that was nice to hear from my friend Jim. He told me he watched it with his wife, and he said I was calling the game before Len announcer from the Cubs did. He told me to keep working, and someone will put me on. Coming from him it meant a lot.
Hopefully my last post will help it was forwarded on to Frankfurt. Kentucky housing Corporation has had six months of notification in which they told me they’re going to do something but haven’t. They’ve missed two deadlines. Hopefully I can gain equal access soon as well as other blind people.
The other night after work I decided to go to the Louisville bats game. I had a ride already going to Best Buy so I took that and then left Best Buy to the game downtown. From Best Buy I decided to take Lyft, and had a great driver. We joked a lot and it’s why I like ridesharing services because you can meet someone nice.
The game was a blow out, so mainly I enjoyed beer, and talking to people. I didn’t go with anyone, because my friends are either married or away in another town. I’m trying this new thing where I am trying to just meet new people. College it used to be so easy. I will tell you this story only because it shocked me.
After the game I went to a bar downtown and started talking to a group of people. This girl was talking about how she got a new tattoo and asked me if I would like to see it? Of course I responded in a smart ass way and said well I’m blind so I don’t know how that would work? She then got up came over and said come with me. The restaurant had one of those single bathrooms with the door. She took me in there and shut the door, And I was like what is happening? I didn’t really ask that out loud. She said I’m wearing a dress so I’m going to have to lifted. I swear to god this happen. She takes my hand and puts it right above her butt so it’s basically a tramp stamp. She starts telling me the design of it and what it is it something with the dragon and fire and a whole bunch of other shit that I don’t really understand why you would put on your body but anyway. She said can you feel anything? I was honest and said no I couldn’t really feel anything maybe a little roughness but it was the first time feeling her back so that might’ve been normal who knows. It just felt like flesh to me. She then asked me what do I see when I meet someone for the first time? I told her I have some methods that can be wrong, but I think for me I am more attracted to personality. If someone is upbeat and funny I am probably going to be drawn to them easier than a shy quiet person. Again though that’s not always correct but I think it has a part and it. She said well we’ve came this far, so would you like to feel what I look like? Now I don’t really like this notion that I have to feel someone to get the picture I’m not sure where that came from, but this moment was already awkward, so I thought what the hell. She had a nice kaboose I’ve always wanted to use that word in a blog. That just made me laugh for about 2 minutes.
I don’t know how I meet these people. I think people just loose themselves when they meet a blind person. Maybe this is normal I don’t know I tend to stay in and keep to myself a lot at nights.
I’ve been talking to Opie a good friend of mine, and I found a man therapist to go to to work out some problems. The last one I had didn’t go so well when she tried to date me. I’m trying to work on some of my issues no ones perfect. I struggle with things in my childhood that are hurting me now since I’ve never delt with them. I commented on it a few posts a go, but growing up in a public school where no one else was like me was difficult and took it’s tole on me I think as I’ve gotten older. I don’t think blind people should all go to a blind school, but it would have been nice to be around people going through puberty who were also blind. Even now I’m not appealing to a lot of people because I’m blind and thats frustrating to be just written off or judged unfairly. Even though her doing that was unexpected, and I am not sure how to feel it was nice not be ignored like I am sometimes. It wasn’t a Best Buy experience where I can walk around fro a half hour and no one seems to think maybe I should ask that blind guy wondering around if he is looking for something? Apparently Best Buy must have situations where blind people come in and just exercise in there store.
I’m still dealing with some of the fall out of being mugged. I’m aware more now, but I’ve been afraid to walk at night on my own. I’m working through that by taking little progress steps. People have been dogging the Apple watch, but for me if I Didn’t have to take my phone out of my pocket to read a text or check where I am by GPS it might be worth it. People aren’t going to think twice for a watch. Maybe I am wrong, but I can see some benefits.
For my house I put up a Ron Santo bobble head up next to his autographed ball I have. Today I received Hank Arron’s. On my wall now I have two of my favorite players of all time now. Before I even liked baseball I remember reading about Hank and the segregation he went through. I don’t talk about this a lot, but when I was in middle school kids became unsure about the blind thing, because I was different. People would put things in front of me I’d trip on, spit gum in water I was drinking, and other things I try to block out. When I read his autobiography in braille I was probably in the fourth grade, and I didn’t understand color. I thought all people were the same, and really had no concept of race. No matter what he went through in the majors he kept playing and facing forward. People would spit on him, he had to sleep in the bus while his other team mates slept in the hotel, but he still showed up and played. I always thought he was special and a source of inspiration when I was being picked on. I think public school made me stronger even though at times you’d like to forget. I figured if Hank could get through his stuff I could make it through being picked on. I like the bobble heads, because it lets me kind of see what the person looked like. It’s vary descriptive you can feel the uniform and the teams logo. On their face you can see there pointy ears or fatter cheeks. It’s pretty neat. I doubt I’ll ever be able to meet Hank, but it’s nice to see what he looks like it’s not perfect, but it gives me some visual.
Whenever something like this happens I reminisce, because I guess that’s all you can do. Mr. Cub Ernie Banks passed away earlier. I started listening to cubs games on the radio in 1998. I fell in love with an announcer named Ron Santo for a few reasons. Ron play the game with juvenile diabetes never reporting it to anyone for fear he would not be able to play. he later announced with artificial legs and had to go to the doctor before each game to check levels he made it to most everyone. it was during these broadcasts I was first introduced to Ernie Banks. Ernie can make you laugh he just was always happy that’s what I remember about him. he never cared or let it show that the cubs never won a championship he never contended for a World Series he was faithful to the Cubs his whole career.
If you ask me what baseball’s biggest mistake has been in the last 20 years I’ll simply tell you it’s when they didn’t allow Ron into the Hall of Fame until after he died. Nothing to me was sadder then the speech he made at Wrigley when they retired his jersey. He lived for that Hall of Fame announcement if you ever get the chance even though you may not know him watch this old cub you will understand then a little of the warmth that he possessed. For me going to a high school where no one was like me, going to frustrations of not being able to drive at the age of 16, and just other social pressure listening to Ronnie always made me laugh. No matter how bad he was feeling he always made it to the game. While I don’t have the same connection with Ernie he’ll still be missed I miss hearing his smile and his laugh during the season during some of the losing streaks he would keep me positive. To finish off my thoughts on Ronnie for the night I admired his strength you never know he had a disability I think about him every season and I’m certain nights during the off-season. He was that motivation for me when things get tough to just keep showing up work through it do the best you can. I don’t often talk about it, but when you can’t drive in the country they put you in an awful disadvantage and just when you’re different from anyone else it can be rough. I Ramber being rejected from a girl because I couldn’t drive I just felt so horrible about myself and I was into a Cubs game with Ron I just took my mind away from that place you know he gave me hope for the future.I don’t think I’ve posted about this very much but a guy that still alive that I definitely will mess and don’t even want to think about when he retires is Scully. If you ever get the chance I do this every year I pay for MLB TV just for him he does the entire Dodgers home television cast by himself. To be able to listen to him and hear him calling game it’s like that link to the past they don’t make announcers like him anymore and he’s one-of-a-kind. This year another goal of mine because I probably don’t have many years left is to go to dodger Stadium with the radio and sit and listen to him call the first three innings and then the ninth.
So here in Louisville it snowed for the first significant amount tonight. Robin is so happy. I woke up around midnight to take her outside and she’s been running outside in the snow for the last 20 minutes. Just putting her nose in it sniffing like it’s cocaine and then sneezing. I got a call from a friend who tell me about Ernie Banks so I thought I would write a few memories I know it’s mainly about Ron but those are my thoughts. When I was writing that about Ron I had a few tears but then I saw a Robin running around it made me laugh again. I don’t want her to catch cold but this is why bought the house so she can run around the yard and be happy she loves snow so I’m gonna go watch her for a little while and then I get some sleep. Rest in peace Mr. Cub.
Last night I was kind of feeling sad for myself and I just finished watching most of the Cubs game and I decided screw it let’s grab Robin’s food catch a greyhound to Chicago and watch the game today. Nothing brings me peace like baseball. I didn’t shower and I fit pretty much right in on greyhound, but right now I kind of feel bad about that. I feel a little bummy. It happens to the best of us I guess. I’ve planned nothing so transportation has been a bit interesting since getting here I took a long damn bus it up in a part of town I didn’t want to B in, but I asked people and got good directions back to where I needed to be. Truthfully I kind of wish I was back on my couch, but I needed to prove something to myself gain some confidence or just get out. I didn’t really ask anybody in Louisville I don’t really know why I guess I just want to be alone.
Robin and I are sitting in a Starbucks waiting for a little bit longer to head towards Wrigley Field. The Cubs are supposed to wear 1942 uniforms today that should be awesome to see I love nostalgia. On the way here I listen to Superman the radio show from the 40s I listen to the whole series in college but that has me living down memory lane so I will probably go with the 1940s hotdog in the 60s buffalo wing dog. I looked online so I didn’t have to have someone read all the decade dogs to me, but if I had more of an appetite I would definitely eat the mall. Anyway just thought I would update since I promised.