Tag Archives: Wildcats

Cain travel takes time

Using my cane again has been a learning opportunity to say the least. I learned Muncie with a cane first then got Robin, but here in Louisville I never used my cane I learned it with Robin. I went to a building the other day for an appointment, and I found myself frustrated because it took me longer to find my way inside. It has a ramp, and Robin would just go right to the door where I got to the building and had to figure out if I went right or left. It’s hard to describe in words, but when your working with a dog they find you the door making your job way easier. The cane I have to do a lot more analyzing and paying attention.
The holidays were good, but there was this Absence without Robin. My mom came down and spent a few days here before going home for the new year and Christmas with my family. I walked out of work and I had no Robin to get excited to see her truck. I didn’t always like her over excited cries, but now that I don’t have them I miss them so much. When we were coming home my brother and dad drove me back. My dad said he realized she was gone when I would have to grab my cane.
Of course the question I keep getting so much is will I get another dog, and I have no idea. I hate using my cane again, but it’s so emotional if I do it again it will because Robin proved so much to me. It’s weird when I was going to get her I had so many thoughts of would this work could I really trust a dog over my cane? Now I feel opposite, but do I want to make the emotional investment for another 8 or 9 years? These dogs because there always with you it’s like what I feel like losing a kid would feel like. We were partners, and I feel a little of me is gone. I also feel if I answer no people usually have this response of taking care of a cane is easier. If I say yes I haven’t really heard that response. My question for you is why does everyone always have to have an opinion? What happened to listening? If I choose not to it’s not because I didn’t enjoy taking her out in the cold, or because I have to make sacrifices I don’t have to make with using a cane, but maybe because emotionally I just don’t want to have to lose something like that again.
I bought a picture frame and put her death certificate in. My sister also made me a picture frame of Robin looking out the window. It says best dog ever on it. I have that picture next to her box and the certificate behind it. I love it I think it would look nice. I do miss still not being able to see a picture of her. I touch her box a lot, but I always wonder being able to see photo’s if that enhances your memories. For me I have to have a trigger, or purposely think of a moment, where if you see a photo you normally can instantly come up with that memory. All this is moot I guess, because if I could have seen or could see photo’s I would never have had Robin. For me touching the frame it helps, but I recorded her barking once and usually listen to that. I keep telling myself she is in a better place, but it doesn’t really make it any easier.
Everything is a trigger lately to a time we shared. Tonight during the Kentucky game they kept referencing the UCLA game, which is the last game we watched together. Were coming up to a month on the 6th, and words really don’t describe how tough it’s been.
I can’t leave without saying happy new year! Abby came home with me, and we had a good celebration. It’s hard to believe were on year two now. We have talked about doing some cool stuff this year. We already have a few concerts lined up, and were figuring out the summer. We will take a trip somewhere just not sure where. The original plan was to go to Wrigley Field, and that’s where I would have retired Robin. Obviously that didn’t work out as to plan, so even though I would love to take Abby, because she’s never been that may be a little bit longer. I want to take her to a major league park since she has never gone. Whatever we do I will keep you updated. I also would like to say rest in peace to my grandpa I think about him often and find myself listening to a lot of songs that meant something to me when I was a child because of him.

Sorry for the long wait but I was parking my car

I haven’t written in a long time. Let me get you up to speed where things are. Also Happy Thanksgiving y’all.
 
Abby and I have been together more than a year now. Every day we get closer, with us and the two dogs we have are little family. One of my favorite trips we did so far is we went to Lexington to watch a Cats basketball game together. It was last year and they were playing LSU. I’ve gone before but usually with someone sighted who would drive me. We caught the bus here in Louisville and got to Lexington. Once there we caught a Uber to the game. We left the dogs with Jerry and Lee because we didn’t have accessible seating and I didn’t want them to get stepped on.
 
The funniest thing happened in Lexington. After the game we waited for the usher to help us out to the front. In Louisville usually you get one person, but there they are mainly volunteers so you get handed from one person to another until you get to your destination. Once we were in the elevator heading out the guy asked us where we parked? We advised him we took Uber and would catch it in the front. We went to a restaurant that was a former church made in to a pasta place. The bar was actually where the preacher would have stood. Anyway when we were leaving a guy grabbed my hand and helped me down the stairs being over protecting making sure I wouldn’t fall. He then goes where did you guys park? In my head I’m thinking seriously you registered I was blind, but now you’re going to help me to my car to drive Abby home? No wonder are streets are so scary. We left dinner with a few hours to wait for the return bus to Louisville and we learned they lock the station so we went over to a Burger King. I called a Lyft to go to the bus station when time and the driver showed up but we couldn’t find him so I called him. I advised I and my girlfriend are blind and we couldn’t see him. He said what? I repeated I’m blind and can’t see him. You’re BLIND? He yelled it or had a weird sounding voice. I said yes sir he was really cool actually once we were in the car. It turns out the Burger king was about 500 feet from the bus station so I tipped him nicely for his troubles. Lexington was fun just watch out they think blind people can drive which when you think about it is I guess cool we can do anything else I guess.
 
Robin has had a rough year. I took her to the vet last weekend and she either has Irritable bowel disease or cancer of the intestine. If she has the cancer she has a year roughly to live. If it is the IBD then not so serious, but it is still so hard to watch her age. She has lost 16 pounds since last November which scares me. Now that it is getting colder I will wake up in the night and she will jump up on my bed and cuddle against my legs. I cherish every moment like this. One morning I had a hard time getting up and she raised her head up and gave me a lick on the cheek that got me moving it was like she was saying hey daddy stop being lazy. I have her on a new food that she is eating every ounce of so I’m hoping it will put some weight back on her. When I touch her back and go towards her tail it just makes me so sad to see how much she has thinned out. We still play but only certain times. She likes to get on my couch when I’m in the chair and she is 10 so I’m okay with that. We’ve been through so many battles together. Trying to get gigs on radio and TV going from city to city in the last year or so we’ve really settled down. I know she can’t travel and do the things we once did and I’m excepting that for her. We don’t do a lot of street crossing right now because my work isn’t in a walking friendly area so it works out that she still comes with me If that changes I will retire her. She has stayed home more than normal and she has begun chewing the hair off her legs the vet told me it’s a behavioral thing acting out because of changes so truthfully I know she would be right beside me if she could be. I’ll never forget we were crossing an alley when I lived downtown and she stopped and backed up suddenly, and that’s when I heard a car backing out. A second later and I would have been hit. When you are a team it is so rough and so hard to see them getting older. To some she is a dog, but for me it’s more than that we have this bond that I’ve never shared with anything else. Robin you’re the best and thanks for your years of work, and also thank you to the Seeing-Eye for matching us.
 
Next year on the docket is Abby would like to go to Chicago to see the World Series champs!!! Yes I can say that the Chicago Cubs!!!! I cannot believe they did it. It was a really emotional night my grandpa Hoyer got me in to the Cubs, and listening all those years baseball is unlike any other sport. I’m hoping to take Abby to Wrigley. This year we went to a lot of Bats games they were fun except one which the radio was on a delay so people are cheering and were 2 pitches behind. Thankfully they fixed it for the final game. I miss baseball already. Were also going to Tim McGraw and Faith Hill here in Louisville. Finally so far we have tickets to see Aaron Lewis in Feb which I am so excited for. I will try to write more things are just really busy.

Thanksgiving, Kentucky Louisville game, and a few other thoughts.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families! The holidays since I’ve moved to Kentucky have been a little weird because I have to work the day before and day after usually so I haven’t really been able to go home on the actual holiday since I’ve moved. Last Christmas eve I worked in Lexington on the radio and watched home alone. you know is crazy about that day is I just wanted some damn Papa John’s on Christmas and I thought I could obtain that goal but I could not so I sat at home alone and ate some shitty TV dinner. I’m independent though so I guess that’s something. haha

Today I’m going downtown and eating at a restaurant with my friend Leslie and her children. I’m looking forward to but I’m nervous about the fact it’s a buffet. I think I’ve written about them before whenever I have to go outside my comfort zone anymore especially I really don’t like that. Buffets present this challenge to me that I just don’t like. I’m trying to work through it so I’m sure it will be fun. I’m excited to meet her family.

Saturday I’m going to the Kentucky Louisville game and I was speaking to Taylor and I said I might wear my Louisville had a Kentucky shirt. In my last post I said I root for Louisville more which is true I just really want the state to do well either way but I will be rooting for Louisville. This lad Taylor to say things like this just proves you can’t commit to someone. So I like the game of football and basketball and just because I have clothing from both teams means I have commitment issues? In my life I’ve made a lot of mistakes I’ve allowed jealousy to ruin a great relationship and friendship and I’ve learned from that. I don’t really know why things happen the way they do, but I feel you have to grow from every experience. i’ve never cheated on anyone because I know how that feels and I wouldn’t do that. However that being said I’ve stumbled upon something recently that I’m working on or trying to work through I guess. I’m not sure I really like myself or that I love myself if that makes sense? I don’t know there’s a lot of reasons things I don’t want to get into right now but I’m just trying to get to a point where I feel okay. I feel like things I phot to not become I’ve become. Recently I’ve become agitated with my blindness and I feel a little bitter which I’ve never wanted it just sort of has happened. I think when I first started this blog I wrote I used to think one day with my blindness I would just completely understand everything but I don’t think that’s the case probably because of society pressures culture and other factors you always will be dealing with something related to it.

I think she read this blog but whatever it hasn’t stop me from saying something before. lol The other night Taylor asked me if I would like to date again and I’m torn. The last time she broke up with me to go back out with an ex-boyfriend and that did not work out. I promise you since I’ve bought my house I’ve really not hung out with any women at all I get in this routine when I come home fall sleep on the couch going to work and do the same routine again. Occasionally I will have a bourbon or beer. I’ve been reading a lot and reminiscing on old memories and I’m not sure if I really want a relationship at this point. I don’t know really where the silver lining will be I’m sure I will find it in a weird way lately it’s with Kentucky sports radio and my Sonos. oh and Olivia Munn. I saw her on the newsroom recently and wow. you’re probably asking yourself what it is or how I can find someone attractive without seeing them and I don’t really know it’s just the way she carries herself I guess. I was working with the show a year ago well not really a year ago I guess like eight months ago and my whole goal was for them to be more fan friendly and they just never got it. If you can make haters listen to your show you have it going on. some people just don’t get that. anyway sorry I got off point. well I lost it so I guess I’ll save it for another day. I will write about my buffet experience the game maybe a party I’m going to tomorrow night so if I’m not into much pain on Sunday expect a post. I’m hoping to throw some darts this weekend I was talking about it with someone at work recently I love that game I’ve already lost my eyes so whatever. cheap blind joke ring the bell. Have a happy Thanksgiving and stay safe.