On Saturday Taylor and I decided to celebrate Valentines a little early. I did that because she hates crowds for one and it just felt like a great weekend to celebrate. I really don’t know why I plan anything anymore, because those plans get aborted but I’ll explain the evening. I got reservations for us at bonefish she showed up at my house and we went out to eat. While she was here she gave me a braille card which I thought was a nice touch. It was actually a birthday card but she said she couldn’t find a braille Valentines so she went with that. I got her some of her favorite candy and some of those Sherry berries. i’ve been listening to Czabe A lot lately and he was advertising them so I took the plunge and oh Jesus are they good.
At dinner we talked a lot, laughed and just had a good time. I was able to open up to her a lot about feelings I haven’t shared with many people. Tomorrow if I feel up to it I’m going to write a post that I hope blind people don’t find offensive but it honestly is a conversation we have to have. I find myself being angry and emotionally different right now I literally go through a whirlwind of emotions weekly. it’s difficult to describe I just wish I could change things that I’ve done that I didn’t do I don’t know. Anyway getting back on point because I don’t want to write 10 pages I want to go to bed. Taylor and I have this relationship where things are so easy for me to communicate. We talk a lot about each other’s faults and strengths and she’s been there for me the last few months when things have been pretty grim. i’ve got a few calls about getting back into writing but I just haven’t really felt like being funny or like it matters. that’s just me being honest.
Anyway it was such a beautiful night that rather than go sit inside Taylor’s very spontaneous kind of like myself so we took a drive and ended up in West Virginia. One thing that’s really starting to bother me as I get older is I tend to get bored with being in one place too long. When I was traveling hard with radio and sports not only was it fun for me being blind I really got to experience new senses. When you wake up in the same place go to sleep in the same place and nothing really changes it’s very dull. what I mean is I can’t really see the sunset or the sunrise some of that real beauty in the world gets lost. When I was a kid when we would travel I would listen to the radio and every city we were and it was different. now Louisville has the same stations as Fort Wayne or Indianapolis feels like Denver if you go by radio. I remember taking a trip during the summer when we drove around Kentucky and I felt sadness for the first time because of what I couldn’t see. i’ve never had depression like that so it was strange. When Taylor and I were driving to West Virginia she described a lot of the scenery which was cool a lot of people don’t take the time I enjoyed that even if some of it was hard for me to understand or picture.
I don’t know if Taylor and I will date because of our past. It’s hard for me to open up myself again for the second time to someone. I’m kind of ashamed but I’ve never had a date or girlfriend on Valentine’s Day when Taylor and I dated a year ago I believe she was my first actual Valentine. I know I should’ve Brian Williams that made it bigger than it actually is. Hahaha this post is been pretty heavy that made me laugh. We have some champagne at the hotel and she actually brought up the fact she was happy to be my only Valentine. Usually in life I’m the fast one I’ve arty one Belmont and we haven’t even ran the Kentucky derby yet. I’m just taking one day at a time but it was a pretty special evening.