A few stories to add!

I’m nervous Tomorrow I go back to work, but today I found doing things difficult. I woke up at 6 or so on the couch. I feel a connection there since I held Robin the day before. I also find it easier to have her collar near me. I’m sure these things will pass, but for now it helps me. I just now took out the trash something I’ve been meaning to do all day, but that was something Robin would walk out stand at the gate and watch me roll the can to the end of the drive. When I would come back to the gate she’d always give my hand a lick. If I was in a hurry I’d leave the front door open so she could see out, and it would be the same result. Something so simple made me cry.
I made spaghetti and listened to Kentucky Sports radio like I stated and that helped. Once that went off I felt tired and I needed to sleep. I slept from 1-4 and then woke up and spoke to a long time friend. Abby got me a pizza, so I ate on that for dinner. the house is so empty now it’s haunting.
I thought of 2 stories that should have been in the tribute. I know there are so many which is why she is so special. For my first job at Future Choices in Muncie I had to go to a kids camp in Columbus Ohio. I decided not knowing how mature the kids were I’d leave Robin with a friend Dina. I think the camp was 4 days, and man I missed my girl. Anyway I came home and Dina brought her buy and she had the window halfway down and Robin got stuck in the window, because when she saw me standing in the parking lot she wasn’t going to wait for the door to be opened.. She was okay, but I got so many kisses. She did not let me out of her sight for a bit after that. My friend Sue was staying there assisting Dina who was recovering from surgery, and I would call and check in or text. Yes I am that guy, but I missed my girl. Sue told me I know your schedule now. I said what do you mean? Well Sue said she cry at 6 to go outside then I got nicely back to sleep and at 7:15 she cried again for food. I said you have it down.
The second story Abby loves to hear so I thought I would mention it. I decided to dog sit for my friend Carlos;s Seeing-Eye dog Derek. It happened to be the night of my friend Ethan’s Bachelor party. I decided I’d take the dogs out before we left that would give us time. Well I may have had a little to much to drink. I wrote a blog about this incident called something like Braille and strip club. Anyway they dropped me off and I got Derek out just fine. However for Robin I remember her going to the bathroom and then I decided I was tired and I would go to sleep under a tree. I went over and laid down instead of Robin panicking or being alarmed she let me hold her in my arms. Ethan happened to come back and got me up apparently we had a bit of a crowd around us so we got back inside. I just thought it was funny that Robin was like I’m with my dad everything’s fine move along.
She taught me responsibility for something, and helped me mature so I’m thankful for her. Not saying I didn’t do anything else stupid, but I did far less than I would have. I’m just waiting now on her ashes, and will post a link at that time for the company as well. Since Robin was a service animal they will cremate her for free. It is such a great feeling that people and companies give thanks for her work. I’m off to sleep and will post once I get her back. I plan to keep her in a nice spot in my house. Finally last time I checked her post had around 230 views today. Thank you for sharing it, and reading. I felt like it helped me a little to write all of that, and people were able to pay there respect. Sorry about all the errors I’m dictating, because it’s just easier. 

Robin

I would like to start off by thanking a few people an places. the first and foremost is The Seeing-Eye for matching us 8 years ago on July 21 2008. It was dog day and I was brought this beautiful German Shepherd named Robin! I remember her looking around she did give me a lick but wanted to follow Rivi her trainer more than stay with me. That is normal. I remember getting down on the floor with her and she would be close then as soon as I got comfortable she would move to the end of her leash! I could barely pet her when she was that distance. In class I had issues and had thoughts about if I had mae the right decisions maybe a cane was better for me. I remember her stopping on route and I said Robin forward and she wouldn’t go, so again I said Robin forward. I started to move my feet and I fell in to a bush. For me gaining my confidence and my trust were big issues I struggled with at first. Here I am not having any feedback with the environment around me I’m just walking very fast with the dog. The walking fast was a really awesome sensation because for the first time I could out walk someone sighted and actually hit my pace.
I think it took us 6 months to fully bond. We definitely had growing pains, but looking back at it I would not wanted it any other way!
I’ve written different things, and I honestly could write a book on how much I love her. I’m thankful that even until the end she wanted to work. Work for me now is a lot different from when I got her. Working at Humana with Jaws and people talking al day I am tired when I get home. Work moved and taking the city bus and walking home stopped, because it isn’t a walking friendly area where we moved. I think one reason she was able to work longer was we’d get up get on the door to door bus and walk in. It wasn’t physically exhausting for her. I also didn’t travel much the last year, because I felt it was harder for her, and it was nothing for me to make that sacrifice.
After I graduated college it took me about a year to find a job. I actually found something about a week after graduation and got the job, but on the way to Apple they called me and said it wasn’t accessible for the current state of screenreader. I was devastated after this news! I bought in to the lines of you can do anything you want no one ever stated unless it isn’t accessible. It really brought on for me depression, but with Robin she wouldn’t let me just lay in bed she had to go out. She wouldn’t be ignored for long she would lick me in the face. I thank her for giving me a reason to get out and walk her and just for that time we had together. At that time I was also playing with the first GPS unit you could walk around with, so if I was done filling out applications we would just walk down streets and see where they’d go. In Muncie one of my favorite things to do was to walk on the Wheeling bridge. I could hear the river running below, and just found it peaceful. I took Robin back to Ball State for my friend Dina’s graduation and her memory of are routes was just amazing. At that point we’d been in Louisville for a year, and I walked to the restaurant we were going to meet at that night for memories sake. When I crossed the intersection of Petty and McKinley. she tried to pull me down towards the bus stop where’d i catch the bus to go home or to the store. Even after a year she still remembered I just thought that was so cool.
My favorite moment of her work was going on my first job interview. I still to this day and now get emotional, because for the first time I didn’t have to grab someone’s elbow when touring a job. At that interview for Apple we just followed everyone like I was just another person part of the group. I was so gratifying. Thank you Robin for that my sweet girl. She loved my mom to much to really work her around my family so they missed out on some of her abilities she really got emotional around her. She was like that from the start I tried to correct her but she knew my family.
When I moved to Louisville it was a chance to go somewhere new, and have an airport and bus station. In Muncie you only have so many work opportunities. I met Matt and Amanda so I knew 2 people, but otherwise I knew no one else. I still today thank Ethan and Robin for being there and making this place feel more comic home. Robin and I spent 2 Thanksgivings and 1 Christmas by ourselves. Either my parents came down early or I couldn’t go home do to work. We’d watch the football games, and she’d just be with me.
I have way to many things to say about my favorite things about Robin. I liked her ears, the soft fur on her face, the way she would give you kisses if you asked or when she thought you needed them, her intelligence, her ability to adapt to my changes in work schedule and travel, her partnership during a game or whenever, and the way she’d bark when a bus driver would say my name. They would come in and say my name and you’d hear Robin goo woof and wag her tail. She wasn’t much of a tail wagger, but I always felt it hitting the back of my legs when I’d say Robin forward. I could at times get her tail to wag when I’d sing to her. When I’d be sick she would just know and lay on my legs to keep me warm she never really did this unless I was sick. She’d also usually not leave me during this time. Normally she’d sleep beside me until I was sleeping then go on patrol of the house. If I shut my door then she’d just move from one side of the bed to the other.
For a few months I got her nails painted, and she really did think she was something else. I’ll never forget I was walking to dinner on forth street live, and behind me I hear this lady go I wonder if he notices one of her nails are chipped. I just smiled haha
We went to a lot of sporting events together. Her favorite times were when she could snag a bun or something someone dropped on the ground. She also liked to watch people. I would have to hear her thoughts. Two of my favorite trips with her involved going to Arizona with her. Once we went with my dad and she did beautiful work. I’ll never forget I took my dad to 5 games in 4 days and I learned Robin’s nose could get sunburnt. We also took a trip to the Grand Canyon and the Hoover dam. The second trip I was a finalist for a TV gig with the Diamondbacks and we went to the new Cubs park then caught a bus to see a Podreys game. We got off at the wrong stop and I got real nervous but one thing about being lost with a dog vs a cane is you can pet them collect your thoughts and they can backtrack. Robin was amazing at correcting my mistakes, or in this case bus drivers that give mis information. We got to the park just fine once I caught another bus.
The last 6 months she really went downhill. She started having diarrhea issues in the house. My girlfriend Abby helped me with that and we just kept being supportive of her. Those incidents took so much out of her, and I know she didn’t mean for it to happen.
Today I’ve been thinking about everything I can I miss her so much. I wish I could just reach down from my chair and she be here. I have a few times and felt the floor it sucks I hate this. Anyway she had some annoying things she’d do that would just get under my skin from time to time. I’d be doing something like listening to a ball game and she’d go to my room. She would get on my bed and lick my pillow. I don’t know why she’d feel the need to do this, but I would come in and she’d jump down and I’d lay my head down and it would be all wet. What I wouldn’t give now to walk in my room and have her jump down and have a wet pillow.
I also would like to thank Plantation Animal Clinic for being supportive talking to me whenever I needed, and also making today so peaceful. Dr. Kleinhelter or Dr. K for short was amazing. She told me what was happening and was so respectful thank you so much to her for the last 6 months I just wish I’d found you earlier. Not that it would have fixed anything Robin went through, but she got really great care there. I don’t know if you can just donate to them, but they didn’t charge me anything for today, so if you can please donate to them and the Seeing-eye. that would be great. I stayed with Robin so did Abby I asked her to and Abby was like her mom. The last year we’ve spent a lot of time together. I just wish Robin could have been there to see us get married, but she and Abby’s first dog Alice will have the best seats in the house.
When I came home I regretted the thing I just had done, because my best friend, partner, and daughter was gone. I slept a lot today and when I woke up around 9 I know in my heart I did the best thing for her but I’m still not there in my head. I love you Robin.
We set the time to put her down on Monday, so you just watch time and feel it passing way to fast. We spent time in my bed listening to Kentucky Sports Radio together something we’ve done since Ethan died. Listening to the show just takes my mind off things so Mat and Ryan I need you guys a lot the next few weeks. She got me up and her tummy was making awful sounds and she started to puke. I knew I was making the best choice for her. Abby came over and brought dinner. She couldn’tt keep anything down so I asked Abby if she could get Robin a meal too. Abby got Robin a kids meal of Chicken and rice from QDoba. I took video and if I ever feel like sharing it’s the greatest sound. She licked the entire bowl clean. I then gave her chips she loved that. Instead of 20 minutes needing to go outside she didn’t have to until about 2 am.
I slept with her on the floor last night keeping my hand on her most of it. Again feeling time pass knowing was hard as hell. I posted a status on Facebook and afterwords I just put my face next to her and cried so hard. She licked my tears again and then moved and put her head under my face so I could cry on her neck. Another thing April Goesman put a survey up a few weeks ago where she said she loved the smell of her boys hair. I didn’t really get that until this moment. I smelled Robin’s neck and kept my nose there it was nice. Dealing with everything she had gone through and she did have a new oder I really enjoyed the smell of her. That might sound weird but I miss it now.
It’s so strange at my house. She’s not there to follow me and just knowing I’m here alone is so hard. Abby offered to stay, but I wanted a little time before going back to work. Humana let me take Wednesday off too. I will take that day to myself to reflect on memories, cry, and hopefully feel a little better. Robin was amazing she made me better, she gave me so much in so little time. It’s weird to think about time when I got her the iPhone still wasn’t usable to the blind now it’s my most used gadget. I know she will always be part of me, but that doesn’t stop the pain for now.
I wanted to also mention another person who helped out today. When I first moved to Louisville I rode with a driver named Larry. He reminded me honestly of another bus driver from Muncie named Larry, so I instantly liked him. I went a lot of time without seeing him, but he picked us up today. He kept my mind off of what was happening. It also just worked out Abby was on are ride as well so we picked her up. Abby had popcorn which I asked her to bring because I didn’t have any. Robin loved popcorn. I fed her the ziplock bag full on the way. When we got there Larry gave me a hug and petted Robin and started to cry. It just touched me in a way I can’t explain even now I’m tearing up. So many times in life we bicker over shit that is bigger than us, and we forget were humans. Thank you Larry hopefully I will ride with you soon again to tell you in person how much that meant.
Abby took care of things while I slept so a big thank you to her I wouldn’t be writing this now if she didn’t let me vent to her.. Thank you for also loving Robin. Also thank you Brian Q for being an ear tonight.
This was the hardest thing I’ve done. I’m happy for the 8 wonderful years I got with Robin. You will always be in my heart, and again you gave me so much in a short time. I lost my sight to cancer and now Robin, so fuck it. Robin thanks for always putting up with me, being so loyal, and putting up with my annoying habits like not listening to your warnings.
One day at Ball State I was late for class and I came out of my apartment to catch the bus. I old her Robin forward and again she wouldn’t go. I did this twice more and she even turned to the left I should have listened girl. I decided to drop the harness and pull her behind me. I took the first step and water got in my shoes and was real deep. I have a feeling if I could have seen her face she would have been laughing at me. I told you so daddy. Just like her licking the pillow I’m not perfect either ya’ll.
I love you so much Robin. 6/18/2006-12/06/2016 heaven gained a new angel thank you girl for your work for never just wanting a break, and for loving me.

Sorry for the long wait but I was parking my car

I haven’t written in a long time. Let me get you up to speed where things are. Also Happy Thanksgiving y’all.
 
Abby and I have been together more than a year now. Every day we get closer, with us and the two dogs we have are little family. One of my favorite trips we did so far is we went to Lexington to watch a Cats basketball game together. It was last year and they were playing LSU. I’ve gone before but usually with someone sighted who would drive me. We caught the bus here in Louisville and got to Lexington. Once there we caught a Uber to the game. We left the dogs with Jerry and Lee because we didn’t have accessible seating and I didn’t want them to get stepped on.
 
The funniest thing happened in Lexington. After the game we waited for the usher to help us out to the front. In Louisville usually you get one person, but there they are mainly volunteers so you get handed from one person to another until you get to your destination. Once we were in the elevator heading out the guy asked us where we parked? We advised him we took Uber and would catch it in the front. We went to a restaurant that was a former church made in to a pasta place. The bar was actually where the preacher would have stood. Anyway when we were leaving a guy grabbed my hand and helped me down the stairs being over protecting making sure I wouldn’t fall. He then goes where did you guys park? In my head I’m thinking seriously you registered I was blind, but now you’re going to help me to my car to drive Abby home? No wonder are streets are so scary. We left dinner with a few hours to wait for the return bus to Louisville and we learned they lock the station so we went over to a Burger King. I called a Lyft to go to the bus station when time and the driver showed up but we couldn’t find him so I called him. I advised I and my girlfriend are blind and we couldn’t see him. He said what? I repeated I’m blind and can’t see him. You’re BLIND? He yelled it or had a weird sounding voice. I said yes sir he was really cool actually once we were in the car. It turns out the Burger king was about 500 feet from the bus station so I tipped him nicely for his troubles. Lexington was fun just watch out they think blind people can drive which when you think about it is I guess cool we can do anything else I guess.
 
Robin has had a rough year. I took her to the vet last weekend and she either has Irritable bowel disease or cancer of the intestine. If she has the cancer she has a year roughly to live. If it is the IBD then not so serious, but it is still so hard to watch her age. She has lost 16 pounds since last November which scares me. Now that it is getting colder I will wake up in the night and she will jump up on my bed and cuddle against my legs. I cherish every moment like this. One morning I had a hard time getting up and she raised her head up and gave me a lick on the cheek that got me moving it was like she was saying hey daddy stop being lazy. I have her on a new food that she is eating every ounce of so I’m hoping it will put some weight back on her. When I touch her back and go towards her tail it just makes me so sad to see how much she has thinned out. We still play but only certain times. She likes to get on my couch when I’m in the chair and she is 10 so I’m okay with that. We’ve been through so many battles together. Trying to get gigs on radio and TV going from city to city in the last year or so we’ve really settled down. I know she can’t travel and do the things we once did and I’m excepting that for her. We don’t do a lot of street crossing right now because my work isn’t in a walking friendly area so it works out that she still comes with me If that changes I will retire her. She has stayed home more than normal and she has begun chewing the hair off her legs the vet told me it’s a behavioral thing acting out because of changes so truthfully I know she would be right beside me if she could be. I’ll never forget we were crossing an alley when I lived downtown and she stopped and backed up suddenly, and that’s when I heard a car backing out. A second later and I would have been hit. When you are a team it is so rough and so hard to see them getting older. To some she is a dog, but for me it’s more than that we have this bond that I’ve never shared with anything else. Robin you’re the best and thanks for your years of work, and also thank you to the Seeing-Eye for matching us.
 
Next year on the docket is Abby would like to go to Chicago to see the World Series champs!!! Yes I can say that the Chicago Cubs!!!! I cannot believe they did it. It was a really emotional night my grandpa Hoyer got me in to the Cubs, and listening all those years baseball is unlike any other sport. I’m hoping to take Abby to Wrigley. This year we went to a lot of Bats games they were fun except one which the radio was on a delay so people are cheering and were 2 pitches behind. Thankfully they fixed it for the final game. I miss baseball already. Were also going to Tim McGraw and Faith Hill here in Louisville. Finally so far we have tickets to see Aaron Lewis in Feb which I am so excited for. I will try to write more things are just really busy.

Technology has come such a long way!

Recently I got a thermometer that is called a smart thermometer that basically connect Bluetooth to your phone and allows me to read my temperature as it’s processed. It’s so amazing how far we’ve come and technology. I’ve never actually had a talking thermometer but recently I’ve struggled with some health issues and I’m trying to pinpoint if my body temperature is fluctuating so I wanted to get something that would allow me to do so. Basically with my iPhone when I take my temperature and then automatically puts it in the Health app where I can manage and look over my data for the last few days. It’s so funny on the reviews for the product it’s one complaint is it doesn’t have a screen on the thermometer so cited people can see their temperature it’s a little payback all these years for not having a talking one for me. We got in a little discussion about how far technology has come for blind people in general and it really is amazing! Even from when I was a kid I would never have thought that I could go to the same store and get the phone that everyone else wants and be able to use it right out of the box. Does voiceover and Apple have some faults sure but nothings perfect! We are blessed to be in this position that were in today I know this is an upbeat post from usual but it is at times a good thing to look back on the flexion and do things in a positive light.
I will make a post later about my birthday I’m dictating so I’m sure there are several mistakes sorry. I just wanted to show that I was updating still and I will try to be more frequent. I will make a post about my birthday that should be appear tomorrow. I hope you guys are all well talk to you soon. One more thing actually we celebrated the two-year mark on this website where we just had amazing numbers even when I don’t update regularly. So I’m glad to find that you found it entertaining and I’ve come back to check in overtime thank you for that!

Apple Watch

I got an Apple Watch a week ago, mainly because Best Buy had it at $100 off. I know a new one is coming, but 400 on a watch is hard to swallow, but somehow logically 300 sounded okay. Haha So far I love it honestly. I have things I would love to see them improve, but overall I’m satisfied, and I’m hoping it helps me with my health.
 
The Fitbit can be accessible, and I know some that use it, but I wanted something that would be a bit more powerful and 100% accessible. Lately I’ve wanted to gain control over my health, and have a better grasp on it. Being able to see my heart rate, and having something that reminds me to stand once an hour is nice. Honestly at work I forget to do so. The little taps on my wrist have become a nice part of my day.
 
· THINGS IT COULD DO BETTER!
The Apple watch first generation does have some flaws. I am starting here, so by the end it will be positive. I wish the processer was faster, or more specifically I wish opening apps could be faster. I think this is the biggest flaw I’ve read its better with watch OS 2, but I still think it could be better. Some of the third party applications I think sell themselves short. For example Amazon’s app the only thing you can do is search for a product or add to a wish list. It would be cool to be able to track an item or have access to your recent orders. From a blind perspective I would like the second generation watch to have a better speaker. The one it currently has is okay, but in the slightest noisy environment it becomes hard to hear.
 
The good!!
 
Alright now the reasons I decided to keep mine simply come down to these things. It’s so handy for notifications. I can text people easier, and stay in touch more with people than I do just using my phone for some reason. I also like having a time peace again. They now have an app called Timebuzz that allows you to turn voiceover off and unlock the screen and it will vibrate the time in different patterns which is great for meetings, or when you don’t want someone to know your checking the time. It’s comfortable. Honestly the most comfortable watch I’ve ever owned. I have the sports band which is nice, and I also bought the Milanese Loupe which is the best band ever. That soft mesh is unbelievably comfortable. While cooking it’s nice to say set timer for 5 minutes. Yes I do know you can use your phone but the watch is easier to do that on, and not worry about getting your phone dirty. Finally the health aspect. I know having reminders and goals I can set for the day that it keeps my progress to live a better healthy lifestyle. Reminders to stand are nice as well as a nice little hey your goals are being met good job is rewarding.
 
My final thoughts don’t listen to negative internet people who never have used the watch to make an opinion. I think the watch has flaws and some areas it could be better, but overall for the first product it’s amazing. I love it, and the fact I got it at 100 off just made me jump for joy. One thing I thought Apple did that was cool or at least a nice touch is the watch has different watch faces you can choose from. One announces the seconds who is cool, but there is a Mickey Mouse one where his feet are the hands. When you move your finger over the time Voiceover starts talking in a higher pitch. I thought it was touching since I obviously can’t see Mickey but to still gain something from it. Apple is always doing little things like that for me I thought it was a cool gesture on the part of Apple.
 

Going to the doctors

It’s been awhile sorry life’s been crazy. I also have got through a point where I didn’t feel like sharing. Things have been good. My girlfriend Abby has met my family and fits in well. I’ve been sick, and it’s nice to have someone that can take the dog out or just be there. I felt bad because I wanted to start the new year out right instead I started it out sick. I have a double ear infection and let me tell you what being blind plus my ears out of whack it’s not fun. I can’t really even stand to have the tv on. I mainly listen to my IPad or iPhone on a low setting. Even typing this is a struggle, but I wanted to put something out there that I went through today.
I went to the doctors today, and I found a place that is real good about helping me fill out paper work, and at least communicating to me like I am human. However the nurse today just all the sudden made me say aww and then put a tip in my throat to do a swab without telling me. I hate that please let me know what’s coming I don’t like to be taken by surprise. That’s why I hate going to doctors they get so fascinated with my artificial eyes or the fact I’m there to even freakin diagnose me it seems. Once the nurse left my doctor was really pleasant she said I want to be careful getting between you and your dog. I asked what do you mean? She said I don’t want her to think I’m hurting you. I advised she is okay.
After my appointment I took a Lyft home and waited an hour called an Uber to run by my Walgreens close by. I got a guy named City and I’ve had a guy named that before so I was excited. I didn’t even take my cane since I figured he’d know me and we could hit the drive up. Turns out there are two people named City and god I was nervous for a few minutes like I’m sick, can’t hear well, plus now I don’t have my cane with a stranger. I explained to him I was blind and could we use the drive up and him take me home. He then told me a story about a Youtube video about a guy who was blind who was asking people to make change, and when one person ripped him off he said no I’m not blind you ripped me off. He said it was a peace on how you just can’t trust people today. I’m not sure if he thought I was faking or what but he was cool. I’m just wondering what other blind peoples experiences are with doctors? I will be going to a consistent doctor starting this year so maybe things will change since it won’t be random people.

One year later and other thoughts

A year ago I got news my friend Ethan committed suicide. The news completely rocked my world. The next few months I’d just wake up at 2 or 3 and just cry. I may have a dream about him hearing him and then wake up realizing he was still gone. When it first happened all I could do was read. About a month in I started listening to Mat Jones Kentucky Sports Radio podcast and when I could catch it live on the radio. Honestly go read the day after Kentucky lost to Wisconsin and you’ll see my heartbreak. Watching them was like this mask so to speak. I cope with these things by watching sports, because it’s the one thing that has always been there. I still really can’t watch the NFL much I am trying this year, because I know Ethan wouldn’t want me not to watch it’s just hard.
I’ve heard so many things talking with friends that try to help but most didn’t know him and most don’t understand suicide. I’ve heard things like I don’t know why people would do such a thing? That just pisses me off quite frankly, because your not in that persons shoes. To me actually doing it is probably a real courageous act. It might not be the best thing, but it takes guts. To be in that much pain and whatever. I stopped talking about it around most, because I didn’t want to hear there ignorance.
I don’t wake up crying anymore, but I do think about him and wish he could still be here. I think about texting him about a Colts trade, or to laugh about something that would have been an inside joke and then let my phone fall back down.
Saying goodbye was the hardest for me. I remember the funeral seemed like a dream I couldn’t get awake from. You never picture saying goodbye to your best friend when he was 27. You never think this will be the last time we texted or talked. I cherish every memory I have of him, and I lost someone who no matter what I could count on if I needed something.
I wrote a memory about him, and it pained me to do so. I didn’t think it would be hard to share something, but I found it hard to focus on one thing or one instant. Here I share pretty personal feelings, but even now I am holding back a bit. I think about him every day, and I don’t think that will change. He always included me which I found special looking back a lot of people don’t so yeah.
I was going to write 2 posts, but I feel like shit. My throat hurts and my head is aching. Small problems I know. This weekend I went to the Kentucky game with Robin. When I got there the seat I had bought wasn’t big enough for her to fit down in between. I panicked because I requested special for accessible seating. They told me everything was sold out, but they had room in a box. I got up there and it was amazing. They had free hotdogs and soda. It had it’s own bathroom, and about 18 other people who knew I didn’t belong. No one really talked to me so that was a bummer. I did meat Rodger the concession guy we talked most of the night. On one play in particular I tossed my radio in front of me a little hard and it flew in to the wall. This lady came over and said here I think this is yours? I said thank you and couldn’t think of a disability I could claim to blame it on. The radio still worked Tom came over it just fine. Kentucky’s quarterback completed 8 passes the entire game and yet they still had a shot to win on the last drive. Overall I enjoyed the box, but I missed being in the noise. There were windows, but not quite the same.
Finally I will talk about this girl I met named Abby. We’ve been hanging out the last few weeks, and things are going really well. With her things are just really chill. I mean like I’ve always felt like I’’ve put in work and the other half has come up short or taken advantage of my kindness. I really like joking with her, and I’m excited to see where things go. I am taking things one day at a time, but I really enjoy spending time with her. She actually watched the entire football game and is catching on really quickly. I am planning on taking her to Lexington to watch a basketball game this year she loves the basketball team. The bus I took this time was real smooth and I was able to connect with a bus in Lexington that got me to the stadium.
I might as well say this now I had a job interview in Nebraska but thankfully I didn’t get the job. It would have been working with blind people something I want to do again soon. I just couldn’t imagine leaving Louisville and my home. The older I get the less diserable that becomes. I was freaking about everything moving Robin again, learning a new city, and what the hell to do with my house? Things work out though.
Before I go I just wanted to say hold those close to you tight. Even if you fight say I love you and hug them more, because you never know when the last time will be. I got let down by the Colts and Packers exit last year, but if the Cubs win the world series this year I know you played the best card up there sir. I’ll never replace him there will always be a spot for him no matter how many years pass. I loved the person he was and the prints left by him. I’ll see him again one day, and he can by me drinks pretending there from women to get me drunk and feel better about myself. I miss you buddy.

I love love louisville

Recently I was denied a ride while taking Uber. I just got my haircut, and went out and requested. I texted the driver saying I am blind and I are outside with my service animal. He was 10 minutes away, which is normal so I didn’t mind. He shows up and says is the dog coming with you? Now I am outside a business, so what do him really think? Maybe I Robin can scamper off and when I need her I can wave my wand and she magically appear at my side. He then says well I have an allergy and so I will cancel the ride and my buddy down the street can come get you he’s like 5 minutes from here. He cancels the ride and takes off. I requested another ride and got a girl Jennifer who was pretty resourceful. She didn’t know Steve at all. I complained to Uber and got 20 dollars in credit. However after talking with a driver that drives for both Uber and Lyft I don’t think this will change things.
 
Lyft has been real receptive to service animal training, and even has read this blog to see my complaints. When you drive for Lyft you actually ride with someone and receive a little training. Uber on the other hand you send them your info to apply, and then they do somewhat of a background check and then you can drive. No ride around or car inspection or anything. I am assuming they send you links to their policy, but that’s just like reading terms and agreements no one really does that. No wonder why this issue keeps happening with no training on service animals the public will do what it wants. I’ve pointed out here in this blog the ignorance Uber drivers in particular by linking to a message board where drivers were talking about picking up service animals. I think if Uber wants to change things training drivers is the only way. Robin doesn’t get on the seat, and taking a dog isn’t that difficult as most make it out to be. Uber just recently put a blind athlete on a commercial promoting how blind people use their service to achieve greater independence which is such crap by the way. They’re only doing that because of the bad press they receive do to service animals. Google Uber and service animals and you will see tons of negative. I guess if I practice one thing and does another it’s all fine ask Josh Duggar about that he seems to be the king of it.
 
I do like Uber, but if they’re not going to actually do any training of their drivers on anything not just service animals I don’t really want to take that service. I think as a business you need to at least train somewhat. This driver I had yesterday was really cool with Lyft and he told me he’d been driving for Uber as well for 6 months and other than them excepting him has heard nothing from Uber. I just find that alarming. Uber says they’re educating the drivers about service animals, but how? You can write anything you want on a webpage, but if you’re not teaching it to any of your drivers than how will it stop? Recently the NFB of California took them to court, and I imagine the NFB will make money off of it, and then Uber will do something like put a blind person in a commercial, and then it will be business as normal. Oh wait that already happened, so hey. I’ve fought with other blind people who love to toss the Uber policy in my face, but again when no one is reading it what well is policy?
 
Anyway changing gears to a new subject. I went golfing I didn’t really enjoy it. After the first drive on the first hole everything else was just in repeat. I enjoyed hanging out with Drew and some others, but I won’t be golfing much.
 
I recently have thought I might be better off alone. I like the idea of a relationship, but finding that one person is proving to be difficult. When I was younger I just thought magically I’d meet someone and things would just click, but obviously that hasn’t really happened. The older I get the harder it becomes I think to give up living alone. I get lonely, but I do enjoy it at times.
 
Work has been really busy lately, so that’s why I’ve been so silent on the blog. Typing all day and listening to Jaws and callers at the same time has gotten me tired at nights. It’s getting better, but when I get home I just want to do something different than type on a computer. I can’t believe this is the start of my fourth year in Louisville. On September 1 it’ll be a year that I’ve moved in to my house. Time moves so fast. I remember thinking at the time in Muncie that this would be a great job to get out of Indiana, and so I could spread my wings a bit. I’ve been looking at an application to a job that would take me somewhere else for the past few nights wondering if I really want to move or if I really want to just start over again. I am not necessarily tied to anything here, but I love Louisville. The food is unbelievable look at how fat I am now sitting for 8 hours a day doesn’t help that either. At one time in my life I would have loved to just go different places, but moving sucks. I am a contractor, so basically my years don’t say hey let’s move you over to a full time employee for insert company name. Jobs for us blind folk are not the most common thing, so I just don’t want to get in a situation where I am back to living off the government, and can’t find anything. Louisville offers other opportunities, but it’s all just so overwhelming. I’d also like the opportunity to move up or have a goal to work for, and that’s just not how things are now. I still love the job, and am thankful and have never regretted the move but it has me pondering things. I’d really love to help blind people get to a better place, and think I would succeed at that. I just don’t know if I want to move out west to do so, but if I submit it and get chosen I guess that will just have to be a choice I have to make at that time. Just so you know it’s causing me stress just completing the application.
 
I’ve thought about going back to get my masters forever now. I hate school honestly, but I’m thinking of enrolling at UK online for graduate classes in January. With focus I can do it. I will keep you posted.
 

My call to T-Mobile

Usually I share something to Facebook then don’t post it here, so I am reversing that today for this one. I figured this would be the best platform to describe this story. People often ask me questions about being blind, and that’s fine. Honestly I love educating you, and if you don’t ask you don’t know. Then I get guys like what I am going to talk about below. I just don’t understand it, and how you can be so clueless. I am a human after all, and the way he went about it made me feel all most like different. I know not everyone thinks like him, but it really is disturbing.
 
I called T-Mobile to see about switching, and kind of learn about the coverage map with some zip codes I would be in. I get this guy named Don. I tell Don that I am calling in to ask about coverage areas, because I am blind and can’t see the map online. He then proceeds to ask so are you half blind or all the way blind? I answer totally blind because of cancer. He says man your blessed. Me yeah I guess.
Don I have to ask what’s it like being blind?
Me I don’t remember sight, so it’s all I know.
Don that’s crazy. I’m just trying to picture being blind.
Me I don’t know that you could do that.
Don so if you didn’t have to sleep would you do that?
Me I think sleeping is the body’s way of resting so I think I need it.
Don Let’s just says you didn’t need sleep though would you?
Me I guess so since I could get more done.
Don How do you know you’re awake?
Me what do you mean?
Don I mean how do you know you’re not dreaming?
Me I am moving and talking to you.
Don what tells you you’re awake and not just dreaming.
Me thinking I just want to know about T-Mobile now. I hear my alarm and wake up.
Don do you live in a different reality?
Me No if I could though I just wouldn’t pay my bills and skate right on through.
He doesn’t laugh
Don what do you see?
Me Nothing
Don I can’t imagine not being able to see nothing. What’s it like?
Me if you put your hands behind your head what can your hands see? I don’t remember color for me I don’t think about it much.
Don your blessed man.
I thinking I thought we already established this.
Don Would you want to see again?
Me No I don’t think so I’ve researched and read about people who regain some sight, and it’s painful for them. Because they’re used to not seeing anything and then they can see light all the time. Even if you have a blindfold on you still have light perception.
Don yeah what was your zip code again
I thinking was finally done with this.
Don Do you have friends?
Me yes I have some friends
Don that has to be hard I mean to find someone who just could understand you.
Me I can still communicate verbally.
Don You must be able to feel things really intensely?
Me I’m not Daredevil, I think I notice more but my senses are not heightened.
Don kept going on for a total of 55 minutes before getting back to T-Mobile.
 
I put most of this conversation down; because Don was a guy I’d say by his voice in his 30’s and honestly had no idea about how a blind person could do anything. I don’t know what number of sighted people feel this way, but it’s really alarming to me. I understand you wouldn’t know what it’s like to be blind so you have questions, just like I don’t know what it’s like to see. I guess the only difference is most of you seeing so it is what it is. To think though that I live off in some la la land is just interesting. Needless to say I am staying at Verizon. Big red all the way at least I think there color is red. Maybe I should ask Don?
 
 

Forth of july

My Thursday started off pretty good I went and picked up flowers and some candy for Monica. After work I went to the airport and on my way she sent me a text saying basically she wouldn’t be coming. I’ve been stood up before the worst was a year ago being left at dinner so she could go back to her ex in New Albany so I had to take a 100 dollar cab ride. I think I am entertaining, but that was the worst I’ve ever felt I think when it comes to dating. Monica bothered me, but like a friend said I saved money by her not coming.

 
Friday I lie around and felt sorry for myself. Cuddling with Robin and watching my favorite periscoper Colbie Caillat. She just makes me feel bubbly I get the tingles usually in a silly place that start in my nose. Anyway I find her entertaining. All weekend I saw her doing things at a lake. I watched baseball, and ate a pizza yes a whole pizza again I was feeling sorry for myself.
 
Saturday I woke up and decided enough of that. I wanted some beer so I used Lyft and went to a liquor store mainly because I could run in I thought and run out fast. If I went to Kroger because it’s bigger I’d have to go to the customer service desk wait on assistance, and it would just be annoying for some beer. I went to this store called my Friendly Liquors. My Lyft driver didn’t speak good English, and when I went in to the store I didn’t have much better luck. I asked if they had any Upland Wheat which is a familiar beer to Louisville. She was like what? I spelled it to her, and she still seemed lost. I asked do you have any Miller. She said yes. I said okay, but I really just wanted a choice so I asked do you have any Pap’s? She said do you want Pepsi? No were going the wrong way here. I settled on Miller.
 
My friend Tyler and her husband came over. Tyler as I said a journalist has been a big part of me wanting to get back in to radio. She has gone through men saying she can’t do sports since she is a woman and a bunch of other stuff I won’t mention. She is a meddler, and invited a neighbor of mine over for dinner. I have to back up a second and explained how I met her. Robin was out in the yard, and she came to the steps wining. As I got up to get her she barked and the woman said she’s barking at me and my dog. We talked for a second, and anyway when I told Tyler as she was coming back by she stopped her and invited her up. It went well at first I did not want really to do that yet, but then I remembered I do want kids and a relationship possibly so I calmed down.
 
We then went downtown to watch the firework show. Tyler bought some bottle rockets, and I decided to shoot a few off. My brother and I used to buy fireworks when we were kids, and he taught me how to light them. I remember I would light them and run and duck in the grass. I love the forth. Anyway in Louisville apparently we have the fun police, because I got yelled at after lighting my third one for being dangerous to others. I didn’t want to have any trouble so I stopped and sat down. I still love fireworks but not like I did when I was a kid. I loved the big booms of them obviously, but the older I get it just becomes repetitive. I still love Thunder over Louisville because that’s so loud and moving. However I wish I could see the colors of them at times. Maybe for sighted people they become repetitive also. I left Robin at home because she isn’t scared, but why stress her out. Plus I had been drinking so I just didn’t feel the need.
 
My friend I met and I hung out on Sunday a bit. She is single with 1 dog. That’s important to me I realized I like animals, but I can’t deal with a lot of them. She also likes baseball so that’s cool. I am just not rushing anything I’ve learned my lesson. I am going to be friends first and just go from that point.
 
Last night I was watching the Cubs game and found myself being really emotional. I don’t know what is going on with me this week. I was listening to the radio cast and decided to Youtube some old Ron Santo clips, and it just got to me. I’ve spoken before about Ron and what he meant to me as a teen. After being rejected from whatever reason blindness and living in the country or just feeling not good enough I could turn on the Cubs game and be in different place. Pat and Ron would always make me laugh. I think I am either going through man menopause or something I’ll get over it by Monday hopefully. Robin has been great she’s been sweet the last week. The Cubs are special I’m not sure they’ll make it this year, but next they have a shot. I like the young guys with the veterans. Pitching is where were weakest, but if everyone’s healthy and we get hot I could see this team winning the Series this year. Of course that all has to happen and we all know the luck of the Cubs. The bone headed errors have to stop as well, and we really need to beat the Cards while they’re wounded.