I got an Apple Watch a week ago, mainly because Best Buy had it at $100 off. I know a new one is coming, but 400 on a watch is hard to swallow, but somehow logically 300 sounded okay. Haha So far I love it honestly. I have things I would love to see them improve, but overall I’m satisfied, and I’m hoping it helps me with my health.
The Fitbit can be accessible, and I know some that use it, but I wanted something that would be a bit more powerful and 100% accessible. Lately I’ve wanted to gain control over my health, and have a better grasp on it. Being able to see my heart rate, and having something that reminds me to stand once an hour is nice. Honestly at work I forget to do so. The little taps on my wrist have become a nice part of my day.
· THINGS IT COULD DO BETTER!
The Apple watch first generation does have some flaws. I am starting here, so by the end it will be positive. I wish the processer was faster, or more specifically I wish opening apps could be faster. I think this is the biggest flaw I’ve read its better with watch OS 2, but I still think it could be better. Some of the third party applications I think sell themselves short. For example Amazon’s app the only thing you can do is search for a product or add to a wish list. It would be cool to be able to track an item or have access to your recent orders. From a blind perspective I would like the second generation watch to have a better speaker. The one it currently has is okay, but in the slightest noisy environment it becomes hard to hear.
Alright now the reasons I decided to keep mine simply come down to these things. It’s so handy for notifications. I can text people easier, and stay in touch more with people than I do just using my phone for some reason. I also like having a time peace again. They now have an app called Timebuzz that allows you to turn voiceover off and unlock the screen and it will vibrate the time in different patterns which is great for meetings, or when you don’t want someone to know your checking the time. It’s comfortable. Honestly the most comfortable watch I’ve ever owned. I have the sports band which is nice, and I also bought the Milanese Loupe which is the best band ever. That soft mesh is unbelievably comfortable. While cooking it’s nice to say set timer for 5 minutes. Yes I do know you can use your phone but the watch is easier to do that on, and not worry about getting your phone dirty. Finally the health aspect. I know having reminders and goals I can set for the day that it keeps my progress to live a better healthy lifestyle. Reminders to stand are nice as well as a nice little hey your goals are being met good job is rewarding.
My final thoughts don’t listen to negative internet people who never have used the watch to make an opinion. I think the watch has flaws and some areas it could be better, but overall for the first product it’s amazing. I love it, and the fact I got it at 100 off just made me jump for joy. One thing I thought Apple did that was cool or at least a nice touch is the watch has different watch faces you can choose from. One announces the seconds who is cool, but there is a Mickey Mouse one where his feet are the hands. When you move your finger over the time Voiceover starts talking in a higher pitch. I thought it was touching since I obviously can’t see Mickey but to still gain something from it. Apple is always doing little things like that for me I thought it was a cool gesture on the part of Apple.
It’s been awhile sorry life’s been crazy. I also have got through a point where I didn’t feel like sharing. Things have been good. My girlfriend Abby has met my family and fits in well. I’ve been sick, and it’s nice to have someone that can take the dog out or just be there. I felt bad because I wanted to start the new year out right instead I started it out sick. I have a double ear infection and let me tell you what being blind plus my ears out of whack it’s not fun. I can’t really even stand to have the tv on. I mainly listen to my IPad or iPhone on a low setting. Even typing this is a struggle, but I wanted to put something out there that I went through today.
I went to the doctors today, and I found a place that is real good about helping me fill out paper work, and at least communicating to me like I am human. However the nurse today just all the sudden made me say aww and then put a tip in my throat to do a swab without telling me. I hate that please let me know what’s coming I don’t like to be taken by surprise. That’s why I hate going to doctors they get so fascinated with my artificial eyes or the fact I’m there to even freakin diagnose me it seems. Once the nurse left my doctor was really pleasant she said I want to be careful getting between you and your dog. I asked what do you mean? She said I don’t want her to think I’m hurting you. I advised she is okay.
After my appointment I took a Lyft home and waited an hour called an Uber to run by my Walgreens close by. I got a guy named City and I’ve had a guy named that before so I was excited. I didn’t even take my cane since I figured he’d know me and we could hit the drive up. Turns out there are two people named City and god I was nervous for a few minutes like I’m sick, can’t hear well, plus now I don’t have my cane with a stranger. I explained to him I was blind and could we use the drive up and him take me home. He then told me a story about a Youtube video about a guy who was blind who was asking people to make change, and when one person ripped him off he said no I’m not blind you ripped me off. He said it was a peace on how you just can’t trust people today. I’m not sure if he thought I was faking or what but he was cool. I’m just wondering what other blind peoples experiences are with doctors? I will be going to a consistent doctor starting this year so maybe things will change since it won’t be random people.
A year ago I got news my friend Ethan committed suicide. The news completely rocked my world. The next few months I’d just wake up at 2 or 3 and just cry. I may have a dream about him hearing him and then wake up realizing he was still gone. When it first happened all I could do was read. About a month in I started listening to Mat Jones Kentucky Sports Radio podcast and when I could catch it live on the radio. Honestly go read the day after Kentucky lost to Wisconsin and you’ll see my heartbreak. Watching them was like this mask so to speak. I cope with these things by watching sports, because it’s the one thing that has always been there. I still really can’t watch the NFL much I am trying this year, because I know Ethan wouldn’t want me not to watch it’s just hard.
I’ve heard so many things talking with friends that try to help but most didn’t know him and most don’t understand suicide. I’ve heard things like I don’t know why people would do such a thing? That just pisses me off quite frankly, because your not in that persons shoes. To me actually doing it is probably a real courageous act. It might not be the best thing, but it takes guts. To be in that much pain and whatever. I stopped talking about it around most, because I didn’t want to hear there ignorance.
I don’t wake up crying anymore, but I do think about him and wish he could still be here. I think about texting him about a Colts trade, or to laugh about something that would have been an inside joke and then let my phone fall back down.
Saying goodbye was the hardest for me. I remember the funeral seemed like a dream I couldn’t get awake from. You never picture saying goodbye to your best friend when he was 27. You never think this will be the last time we texted or talked. I cherish every memory I have of him, and I lost someone who no matter what I could count on if I needed something.
I wrote a memory about him, and it pained me to do so. I didn’t think it would be hard to share something, but I found it hard to focus on one thing or one instant. Here I share pretty personal feelings, but even now I am holding back a bit. I think about him every day, and I don’t think that will change. He always included me which I found special looking back a lot of people don’t so yeah.
I was going to write 2 posts, but I feel like shit. My throat hurts and my head is aching. Small problems I know. This weekend I went to the Kentucky game with Robin. When I got there the seat I had bought wasn’t big enough for her to fit down in between. I panicked because I requested special for accessible seating. They told me everything was sold out, but they had room in a box. I got up there and it was amazing. They had free hotdogs and soda. It had it’s own bathroom, and about 18 other people who knew I didn’t belong. No one really talked to me so that was a bummer. I did meat Rodger the concession guy we talked most of the night. On one play in particular I tossed my radio in front of me a little hard and it flew in to the wall. This lady came over and said here I think this is yours? I said thank you and couldn’t think of a disability I could claim to blame it on. The radio still worked Tom came over it just fine. Kentucky’s quarterback completed 8 passes the entire game and yet they still had a shot to win on the last drive. Overall I enjoyed the box, but I missed being in the noise. There were windows, but not quite the same.
Finally I will talk about this girl I met named Abby. We’ve been hanging out the last few weeks, and things are going really well. With her things are just really chill. I mean like I’ve always felt like I’’ve put in work and the other half has come up short or taken advantage of my kindness. I really like joking with her, and I’m excited to see where things go. I am taking things one day at a time, but I really enjoy spending time with her. She actually watched the entire football game and is catching on really quickly. I am planning on taking her to Lexington to watch a basketball game this year she loves the basketball team. The bus I took this time was real smooth and I was able to connect with a bus in Lexington that got me to the stadium.
I might as well say this now I had a job interview in Nebraska but thankfully I didn’t get the job. It would have been working with blind people something I want to do again soon. I just couldn’t imagine leaving Louisville and my home. The older I get the less diserable that becomes. I was freaking about everything moving Robin again, learning a new city, and what the hell to do with my house? Things work out though.
Before I go I just wanted to say hold those close to you tight. Even if you fight say I love you and hug them more, because you never know when the last time will be. I got let down by the Colts and Packers exit last year, but if the Cubs win the world series this year I know you played the best card up there sir. I’ll never replace him there will always be a spot for him no matter how many years pass. I loved the person he was and the prints left by him. I’ll see him again one day, and he can by me drinks pretending there from women to get me drunk and feel better about myself. I miss you buddy.
Recently I was denied a ride while taking Uber. I just got my haircut, and went out and requested. I texted the driver saying I am blind and I are outside with my service animal. He was 10 minutes away, which is normal so I didn’t mind. He shows up and says is the dog coming with you? Now I am outside a business, so what do him really think? Maybe I Robin can scamper off and when I need her I can wave my wand and she magically appear at my side. He then says well I have an allergy and so I will cancel the ride and my buddy down the street can come get you he’s like 5 minutes from here. He cancels the ride and takes off. I requested another ride and got a girl Jennifer who was pretty resourceful. She didn’t know Steve at all. I complained to Uber and got 20 dollars in credit. However after talking with a driver that drives for both Uber and Lyft I don’t think this will change things.
Lyft has been real receptive to service animal training, and even has read this blog to see my complaints. When you drive for Lyft you actually ride with someone and receive a little training. Uber on the other hand you send them your info to apply, and then they do somewhat of a background check and then you can drive. No ride around or car inspection or anything. I am assuming they send you links to their policy, but that’s just like reading terms and agreements no one really does that. No wonder why this issue keeps happening with no training on service animals the public will do what it wants. I’ve pointed out here in this blog the ignorance Uber drivers in particular by linking to a message board where drivers were talking about picking up service animals. I think if Uber wants to change things training drivers is the only way. Robin doesn’t get on the seat, and taking a dog isn’t that difficult as most make it out to be. Uber just recently put a blind athlete on a commercial promoting how blind people use their service to achieve greater independence which is such crap by the way. They’re only doing that because of the bad press they receive do to service animals. Google Uber and service animals and you will see tons of negative. I guess if I practice one thing and does another it’s all fine ask Josh Duggar about that he seems to be the king of it.
I do like Uber, but if they’re not going to actually do any training of their drivers on anything not just service animals I don’t really want to take that service. I think as a business you need to at least train somewhat. This driver I had yesterday was really cool with Lyft and he told me he’d been driving for Uber as well for 6 months and other than them excepting him has heard nothing from Uber. I just find that alarming. Uber says they’re educating the drivers about service animals, but how? You can write anything you want on a webpage, but if you’re not teaching it to any of your drivers than how will it stop? Recently the NFB of California took them to court, and I imagine the NFB will make money off of it, and then Uber will do something like put a blind person in a commercial, and then it will be business as normal. Oh wait that already happened, so hey. I’ve fought with other blind people who love to toss the Uber policy in my face, but again when no one is reading it what well is policy?
Anyway changing gears to a new subject. I went golfing I didn’t really enjoy it. After the first drive on the first hole everything else was just in repeat. I enjoyed hanging out with Drew and some others, but I won’t be golfing much.
I recently have thought I might be better off alone. I like the idea of a relationship, but finding that one person is proving to be difficult. When I was younger I just thought magically I’d meet someone and things would just click, but obviously that hasn’t really happened. The older I get the harder it becomes I think to give up living alone. I get lonely, but I do enjoy it at times.
Work has been really busy lately, so that’s why I’ve been so silent on the blog. Typing all day and listening to Jaws and callers at the same time has gotten me tired at nights. It’s getting better, but when I get home I just want to do something different than type on a computer. I can’t believe this is the start of my fourth year in Louisville. On September 1 it’ll be a year that I’ve moved in to my house. Time moves so fast. I remember thinking at the time in Muncie that this would be a great job to get out of Indiana, and so I could spread my wings a bit. I’ve been looking at an application to a job that would take me somewhere else for the past few nights wondering if I really want to move or if I really want to just start over again. I am not necessarily tied to anything here, but I love Louisville. The food is unbelievable look at how fat I am now sitting for 8 hours a day doesn’t help that either. At one time in my life I would have loved to just go different places, but moving sucks. I am a contractor, so basically my years don’t say hey let’s move you over to a full time employee for insert company name. Jobs for us blind folk are not the most common thing, so I just don’t want to get in a situation where I am back to living off the government, and can’t find anything. Louisville offers other opportunities, but it’s all just so overwhelming. I’d also like the opportunity to move up or have a goal to work for, and that’s just not how things are now. I still love the job, and am thankful and have never regretted the move but it has me pondering things. I’d really love to help blind people get to a better place, and think I would succeed at that. I just don’t know if I want to move out west to do so, but if I submit it and get chosen I guess that will just have to be a choice I have to make at that time. Just so you know it’s causing me stress just completing the application.
I’ve thought about going back to get my masters forever now. I hate school honestly, but I’m thinking of enrolling at UK online for graduate classes in January. With focus I can do it. I will keep you posted.
Usually I share something to Facebook then don’t post it here, so I am reversing that today for this one. I figured this would be the best platform to describe this story. People often ask me questions about being blind, and that’s fine. Honestly I love educating you, and if you don’t ask you don’t know. Then I get guys like what I am going to talk about below. I just don’t understand it, and how you can be so clueless. I am a human after all, and the way he went about it made me feel all most like different. I know not everyone thinks like him, but it really is disturbing.
I called T-Mobile to see about switching, and kind of learn about the coverage map with some zip codes I would be in. I get this guy named Don. I tell Don that I am calling in to ask about coverage areas, because I am blind and can’t see the map online. He then proceeds to ask so are you half blind or all the way blind? I answer totally blind because of cancer. He says man your blessed. Me yeah I guess.
Don I have to ask what’s it like being blind?
Me I don’t remember sight, so it’s all I know.
Don that’s crazy. I’m just trying to picture being blind.
Me I don’t know that you could do that.
Don so if you didn’t have to sleep would you do that?
Me I think sleeping is the body’s way of resting so I think I need it.
Don Let’s just says you didn’t need sleep though would you?
Me I guess so since I could get more done.
Don How do you know you’re awake?
Me what do you mean?
Don I mean how do you know you’re not dreaming?
Me I am moving and talking to you.
Don what tells you you’re awake and not just dreaming.
Me thinking I just want to know about T-Mobile now. I hear my alarm and wake up.
Don do you live in a different reality?
Me No if I could though I just wouldn’t pay my bills and skate right on through.
He doesn’t laugh
Don what do you see?
Don I can’t imagine not being able to see nothing. What’s it like?
Me if you put your hands behind your head what can your hands see? I don’t remember color for me I don’t think about it much.
Don your blessed man.
I thinking I thought we already established this.
Don Would you want to see again?
Me No I don’t think so I’ve researched and read about people who regain some sight, and it’s painful for them. Because they’re used to not seeing anything and then they can see light all the time. Even if you have a blindfold on you still have light perception.
Don yeah what was your zip code again
I thinking was finally done with this.
Don Do you have friends?
Me yes I have some friends
Don that has to be hard I mean to find someone who just could understand you.
Me I can still communicate verbally.
Don You must be able to feel things really intensely?
Me I’m not Daredevil, I think I notice more but my senses are not heightened.
Don kept going on for a total of 55 minutes before getting back to T-Mobile.
I put most of this conversation down; because Don was a guy I’d say by his voice in his 30’s and honestly had no idea about how a blind person could do anything. I don’t know what number of sighted people feel this way, but it’s really alarming to me. I understand you wouldn’t know what it’s like to be blind so you have questions, just like I don’t know what it’s like to see. I guess the only difference is most of you seeing so it is what it is. To think though that I live off in some la la land is just interesting. Needless to say I am staying at Verizon. Big red all the way at least I think there color is red. Maybe I should ask Don?
My Thursday started off pretty good I went and picked up flowers and some candy for Monica. After work I went to the airport and on my way she sent me a text saying basically she wouldn’t be coming. I’ve been stood up before the worst was a year ago being left at dinner so she could go back to her ex in New Albany so I had to take a 100 dollar cab ride. I think I am entertaining, but that was the worst I’ve ever felt I think when it comes to dating. Monica bothered me, but like a friend said I saved money by her not coming.
Friday I lie around and felt sorry for myself. Cuddling with Robin and watching my favorite periscoper Colbie Caillat. She just makes me feel bubbly I get the tingles usually in a silly place that start in my nose. Anyway I find her entertaining. All weekend I saw her doing things at a lake. I watched baseball, and ate a pizza yes a whole pizza again I was feeling sorry for myself.
Saturday I woke up and decided enough of that. I wanted some beer so I used Lyft and went to a liquor store mainly because I could run in I thought and run out fast. If I went to Kroger because it’s bigger I’d have to go to the customer service desk wait on assistance, and it would just be annoying for some beer. I went to this store called my Friendly Liquors. My Lyft driver didn’t speak good English, and when I went in to the store I didn’t have much better luck. I asked if they had any Upland Wheat which is a familiar beer to Louisville. She was like what? I spelled it to her, and she still seemed lost. I asked do you have any Miller. She said yes. I said okay, but I really just wanted a choice so I asked do you have any Pap’s? She said do you want Pepsi? No were going the wrong way here. I settled on Miller.
My friend Tyler and her husband came over. Tyler as I said a journalist has been a big part of me wanting to get back in to radio. She has gone through men saying she can’t do sports since she is a woman and a bunch of other stuff I won’t mention. She is a meddler, and invited a neighbor of mine over for dinner. I have to back up a second and explained how I met her. Robin was out in the yard, and she came to the steps wining. As I got up to get her she barked and the woman said she’s barking at me and my dog. We talked for a second, and anyway when I told Tyler as she was coming back by she stopped her and invited her up. It went well at first I did not want really to do that yet, but then I remembered I do want kids and a relationship possibly so I calmed down.
We then went downtown to watch the firework show. Tyler bought some bottle rockets, and I decided to shoot a few off. My brother and I used to buy fireworks when we were kids, and he taught me how to light them. I remember I would light them and run and duck in the grass. I love the forth. Anyway in Louisville apparently we have the fun police, because I got yelled at after lighting my third one for being dangerous to others. I didn’t want to have any trouble so I stopped and sat down. I still love fireworks but not like I did when I was a kid. I loved the big booms of them obviously, but the older I get it just becomes repetitive. I still love Thunder over Louisville because that’s so loud and moving. However I wish I could see the colors of them at times. Maybe for sighted people they become repetitive also. I left Robin at home because she isn’t scared, but why stress her out. Plus I had been drinking so I just didn’t feel the need.
My friend I met and I hung out on Sunday a bit. She is single with 1 dog. That’s important to me I realized I like animals, but I can’t deal with a lot of them. She also likes baseball so that’s cool. I am just not rushing anything I’ve learned my lesson. I am going to be friends first and just go from that point.
Last night I was watching the Cubs game and found myself being really emotional. I don’t know what is going on with me this week. I was listening to the radio cast and decided to Youtube some old Ron Santo clips, and it just got to me. I’ve spoken before about Ron and what he meant to me as a teen. After being rejected from whatever reason blindness and living in the country or just feeling not good enough I could turn on the Cubs game and be in different place. Pat and Ron would always make me laugh. I think I am either going through man menopause or something I’ll get over it by Monday hopefully. Robin has been great she’s been sweet the last week. The Cubs are special I’m not sure they’ll make it this year, but next they have a shot. I like the young guys with the veterans. Pitching is where were weakest, but if everyone’s healthy and we get hot I could see this team winning the Series this year. Of course that all has to happen and we all know the luck of the Cubs. The bone headed errors have to stop as well, and we really need to beat the Cards while they’re wounded.
I want to first off by stating RIP to jenelle a guide dog for my friend Matt. She Died on Sunday. She was 14 and a great dog. I have so many stories, and I can’t even begin to understand what he is going through. I understand it but I’ve never lost one yet. She went peacefully though which is good. Anyway if you could put Matt and Amanda in your thoughts. I remember her she’d wag her tail any chance she got. One night when I was going home Robin tried to steal her toys because I guess humping her all the time wasn’t enough. Haha Robin is quite the dominating girl. Anyway when I stepped outside the house I heard this thump thump as the toy went down the stairs. I got it and took it back in. Anyway I know you’ll be missed by Robin and myself.
What I want to talk about today is why blindness is viewed as this helplessness agenda. I am watching this video of this soldier who went blind, and no disrespect but what his fucking wife said really set me off. She said in a CBS video was she could either say were done he can’t do anything anymore or she could become his biggest cheerleader. I know obviously he went through some depression, and maybe even had thoughts of killing himself, but her notion that he couldn’t do anything where does that come from? Maybe again I’m digging at something she didn’t mean, but sighted people in general look at a blind person and say I couldn’t live if that happened to me. Being blind isn’t that bad. Yes you can’t see shit, but you can still do shit. I might not see cake baking in the oven rising to that beautiful doughy perfection, but I can taste it. I was talking to my friend Linda and Reggie this week about how summer bombs the fuck out of me sometimes. I know it’s stupid right, but I miss all the fashion women show off. I always hear from women I hang out with or dudes who stop paying attention to me because there watching someone all most be naked. Before I started watching described video again I didn’t realize how much sexual persuasion is always there. When your blind unless someones rubbing on you it’s not as stimulating. You can be ab oblivious to what is going on. As I get older my appearance becomes more important as I try to meet people or find new jobs. I walked around with a fucking stain on my shirt all day Friday. Thankfully I was in a place most others were to but still.
I think I offended my dad the other day, because I went home over the weekend and stated I wasn’t used to that long of a car ride. He said sorry I don’t own an airplane and can’t fly you home. That wasn’t what I met at all, but okay. Maybe again he doesn’t think about my situation because he doesn’t have to, but I would love to get in a fucking car and drive to Washington on a roadtrip, but the fact is I can’t. I guess I could maybe find a friend who wanted to go somewhere and tag along, but most of the time that means you lose a lot of freedom. I’m not in a relationship so at this point I don’t have that connection to share with. For me flying or cabs or busses is what I get. I don’t have the luxury of just getting in a car in my drive way and drive where I want. Most things I do I have to plan out or pay for a cab or Lyft. Yes I have a pilot friend and things work out, but it’s not always easy. When I was in Toronto do you know how tiring that really was? I mean I have just my phone, with GPS anything could have happened. I would love the security of just having a car christ.
Anyway back to the soldier. I think it is great what he did, but his wife pissed me off a little. I guess I can love you but if you go blind then I got a real fucking choice to make. Never mind you lost your sight fighting for my right to be a complete bitch. I’m just taking out some anger I have, but seriously man divorce her now. I just don’t know where this logic comes from that because your eyes stop working things constantly suck. Yes his situation is way crazier than mine I don’t remember anything, but life goes on. Is he still the man he was before the war probably not, but seeing his motivation by finishing the ironman shows he has a heart of a champion. I know sighted people as a whole really don’t know how to deal with blind people, and at times it’s weird. I’ve stated before I can go to a restaurant, and the waitress might open my straw for me which okay is nice right but does she do that to the sighted person? I’ve been on dates or hell even out with friends and they will look at the person and say what does he want? I’m a grown man just please ask me. Again my eyes and brain are completely different organs. My penis works too. I probably should have skipped writing tonight.
My final thought is I went home as I said earlier. I sat at the Finucanes house remembering the olden days. Before Ball state, before Louisville, and before Robin. I remember being just stuck in the country with no transportation other than my family. My brother would take me to school, and bring me home or I would ride the bus. If I was at wrestling someone would pick me up after that. I was so different back then, because I had to depend on others which is probably why I had being having to depend on people now. Hanging out at Brandons house helped me in ways I don’t really want to get in to here, but they helped me get out of bad situations at times. His family pretty much excepted me. I love them still. I’m sitting in there living room remembering my dreams of wanting to live in the big city, and work, and it’s somewhat weird it came true. I remembered struggling after college when no one would hire me. It’s just weird how things work out. I’m learning to just take things in strive and pick my battles. I can’t win them all. I will just say this. Why do we focus on the amazing accomplishments still of the blind, and rather not look at the struggles they face today? It’s easy for me to Google blind in the news and see a thousand feel good peaces, but I don’t see the poverty or the technology challenges we face. For that matter I have to read about how gay people are discriminated on at a job, but yet when I go to an interview and we talk about the dog rather than my accomplishments somehow this is executable and not wrong. I can’t hide my dog or my cane I am what I am. Not saying it’s unfair for gay people to face there problems at the end of the day it’s your choice what you display. I’m okay with you being you, but why can’t we ever get to a place where your fine with me being me? I find myself not being to religious, but one thing that’s always bothered me is people will tell me I’ll be perfect again when I get to heaven because everyone is. Why in theory then aren’t we all perfect in gods eyes for the way were made? I find myself watching people who can maybe get there sight back and even if it is just a sliver put themselves through major operations just to say they can see light again. Is it really worth it? I hear about these people who talk about using cameras possibly strapped to there heads and then that could somehow stimulate your brain in to seeing immages. Call me crazy, but you walking with cameras on your face is that going to make sighted people respect you more? I just wonder when will blind people start getting covered fairly? I know we are out numbered but in theory isn’t it crazy when I have to hear about a transgendered kid figure out which bathroom they want to use or can use and yet I hear nothing about blind struggles. I said to Linda I think there are more transgendered people in the country than blind people and that’s just weird to me sorry. Do I think science or god or whatever you believe can mess up sure, but not to the extent your seeing it in are country. Furthermore most of my friends on Facebook get all obsessed with gay rights something that affects none of them personally. Yet when it comes to blind people they have no clue. Do they get upset that i can’t tell apart a dollar bill from a five dollar bill without an Iphone? Do they get mad that the United States basically paid the National Federation of the Blind money to say that wasn’t important? Funny how they fought that cause in the 1990’s isn’t it? know one asked me or any blind people I know what are thoughts were on having accessible money. Again I see no support from my friends on trying to fix it, but if I were gay I’m sure you’d fucking march at my parade. I’m not being mean or trying to offend but rather just ask why people get involved with certain issues that don’t pertain to them, but then others just completely block it out?
Day 3 was interesting to say the least. I woke up at 6:45 because I don’t really know why. I slept like a rock I forgot my melatonin, but the few hours I got were great. Robin was wining so I put on my shoes and took her out. We went to a nice little place for breakfast.
Denny and I need to find a way to podcast 96 percent of are conversations are funny the other 4 you wouldn’t care about. Anyway he has been telling me I care way to much about things so I am trying to relax. I thought this was cool but for breakfast she took me to this painting and coffee thing. Now I am not a great painter, but I made it work. She held my hand and we brushed together. While she wasn’t holding my hands I painted where ever I wanted. It’s safe to say her half looked better. It was a lot of fun though. I let her keep it. She traced my finger along the canvas once it dried and she made the city of Toronto. She said she wanted me to feel how it was shaped. It was beautiful, and I thought really sweet.
After that we went back to the hotel, and she left to get a change. She didn’t want to show up to work in the exact thing as yesterday. I had a meeting a friend of mine arranged at a station so I went over to that. It ran way long, because I was recording a radio thing. Anyway I met Monica back at the Jays game. It was a crazy game the parts I got to see. I had to eave early so I missed the ending my scores alerts tell me they lost. I wished Monica well and told her she made the trip a lot of fun. She hugged me and we kissed and I left. Truthfully I’m not good at these things at all. Maybe are paths will cross again maybe not, but she helped me realize things about myself. I think we can be are worst critics. As people we tend to group bad events and let them dictate how we view things. I’ve been on a lot of bad first dates, and have had crazy things happen and it was nice not to have that. Whatever the future is I will be patient and stop looking for it because if loves meant to be it’ll find me. That’s what I’m taking away from this experience. See Denny I do listen to you. Happy fathers day to you, Phil, and my dad. I sent my dad a text on Verizon which means I sent a international text I’m sure that will cost me. Oh well nothing will ever cost as much as when I was voting for Sanjia on American Idol in college I learnt the meaning of a $2 text. Thanks Howard Stern. haha I wanted to go see the Niagara Falls, but didn’t make it there. Meeting Monica my plans changed quickly. The flight home was great. No one really bugged me about Robin the entire time it was really smooth. Well I guess now it’s back to work….
This will be a pretty long update so strap in. Yesterday was day 2 of my Toronto adventure. One thing I didn’t talk about in my first post was that I was really worried about traffic. I knew it would probably be about the same, but I was worried I’d encounter something I wasn’t familiar with in the states. That hasn’t happened thankfully. The traffic sound normal it’s really busy most of the day I’ve seen, so it’s easy to tell the traffic serge.
Yesterday where do I start it was a full day. I got to piss in a shark urinal I guess I will start there. I went to this bar, and went to use the bathroom, and was told the Journal was shaped like a sharks head. Now one thing I will say when I got Robin urinals a harder, because I used to use my cane and bump it, so now I have to use my leg which I do not like. I was for the life of me trying to see what it looked like but I couldn’t touch it so I just pissed and hoped for no splash back thankfully there wasn’t. It was not trough thankfully.
The Jays game again was great another hell of a game. The Jays had the bases loaded and with no outs and couldn’t score so they lost. That was the biggest inning of the game. Monica came and sat by me during some of the game and I learned about her. We decided to go out to eat together for dinner. I asked her if she liked thai I saw a few places near by, and she said she loved it. I left her and went to the aquarium since she had to finish up working.
At the aquarium I got to touch a stingray. That was pretty neat other than that though like my friend Kim said it was a bunch of fish behind glass. haha I did learn some things though.
I walked to the thai place which was pretty far or at least further than I was participating. I wasn’t sure if this place would give me trouble with Robin, but I was surprised how open they were. I used to live next to a Thai place in Muncie when I lived downtown. I would take long walks and then stop by for dinner. The owner would give me a neighbor discount which I thought was nice. I really miss that small-town atmosphere. Anyway Nute I think her name was came out and asked me what I wanted I found out she was the owner. Monica ordered hers and then I got something spicy. I love the heat. It didn’t dissapoint. It was noodles and shrimp and peppers.
Monica told me she had a blind sister, and so when she met me on Friday I inspired her. She told me her sister lost complete sight a year ago when she was 16. I told her I thought that would be tougher, because she’ll remember things where I can’t. My friend Denny tells me storries of how he used to take off running when he lost his sight, because in his head he could still see and he would smack right in to a wall. We started talking about her and her studies. She is 25, and studying at Toronto University working in cancer research.
Eventually things got to me, and she asked me some tough questions. I told her about radio and things I’ve been through with it. I told her about turning down Detroit, and New York once. She asked me why I did that? I was honest about it I think I was nervous to fail. If I had moved to Detroit and got fired in the first month where wouldd I be? Plus I was honest at that time I was dating Lex and she was doing well on tv and her family was close so I knew she wouldn’t go. things fell apart for us after I turned the job down, but it is what it is. New York is great to visit, but I feel trapped there. People aren’t friendly either I just never liked it. Louisville has this big city feel, but where I live know one just drives down the road and it’s quiet. For me I need that. I said to it’s hard to walk away from making money to take a chance where I won’t. It’s not like blind people are not having trouble finding work. She laughed and asked if I would like to go on a walk with her? I decided well if I get mugged or set up I’m only crying my phone and a few dollars now. I took her elbow so I didn’t have to constantly follow her. At times while walking with someone it’s easier to do that also so your dog doesn’t get confused. We walked streets, and she explained to me about the landscaping bigger buildings, and how much things have grown or changed. I asked her a lot about the different providences, because I’ve always ben interested.
We walked around for about 2 hours just talking, and learning about each other. It was nice. She asked me at one point why I loved baseball? I simply said because I’m American. She laughed, and said seriously why would you fly in to mainly watch baseball? I told her I want to get back involved in some way. Out of everything in my life it’s been the most consistent thing over the years. I saw my grandpa after my grandma died just watch a lot of it to pass time. For me in my teen years it helped me cope with sight loss, or if I was feeling really depressed it gave me an outlet to get lost in. Why the fuck am I always so deep with my responses? Denny is right I like writing novels. You’d think college courses would have taught me something. She told me she wants to do a lot of research on breast cancer, because her mom died about 10 years ago from it.
Anyway we got back to my hotel, and I took Robin off duty. Her and Monica played for a bit until Robin got really sick. I ran her outside and she started puking. It was not pretty at all. Once she settled down I took her inside and got her some water. I get really nervous when Robin gets sick I just want to help her. She curled up on the bed and didn’t move for the rest of the night. Monica and I talked until about 4 this morning so she stayed over. I’m beat, but I guess I can sleep on the airplane home. I’m really glad Monica walked around with me yesterday. I engaged more with locals, but her explaining what was around us visually was great, and gave me a greater understanding. I’d definitely come back to visit. Robin seems to be okay today she ate breakfast, so I will take that as a good sign.
I wanted to give you the most personal account of what I have to do when traveling. I’m sure being sighted you may do some research on the area, but that’s probably about it. When I first settled on Toronto I had to do a few things. The first was to make sure I could bring Robin I alluded to that earlier so I will skip it. I called the hotel to see a few things like are there restaurants with in walking distance and or a bus stop close. Now this even if someone says yes doesn’t always tell me what I need to know so you have to sometimes hope for the best. What I mean by this is when I went to Denver I asked if there was anything in walking distance and he said oh yes a bbq place next door. What he didn’t tell me was that for a sighted person yes it would be easy, but for a blind person not so much. To be fair he wouldn’t have any idea so I wasn’t mad but it can be frustrating. To walk to that bbq place I had to climb a fence to do it by walking. There was no sidewalk that lead over there. They were actually really nice though both places and I made it with some assistance.
Anyway back to current times. My biggest concern was getting cellular data for my GPS. I actually want to disconnect a little from the net while I’m here, but I need data to find my way around. I had to call Verizon and unlock my phone for overseas travel. I then had to contact Rogers communications to get what I needed here. Everyone pretty much has to do that though so that’s not nothing unordinary. I use this app called blind square to navigate with it’s my favorite. What it does while walking it announces your next cross street. You can also look around by pointing the phone and seeing what is near. It’s been a game changer for sure. Sometimes having that confidence of knowing your crossing the correct street helps you relax a bit. That’s pretty much all I did to get ready to come here, once I landed it’s been just me blind exploring and asking for directions if I get lost.
The flight went well Louisville is always nice, and they actually bumped me to first class so Robin could have more room. They usually do this if they can which I really enjoy. Not because I’m first class but rather so we both have some room. The stewardess and I had a good conversation she asked me about Robins training, and we laughed a lot about some entertainment stuff. She brought me 2 free beers which was nice of her. Anyway once I landed I stayed in my seat until a worker assisted me to where I was going to catch my bus to the hotel. The person didn’t talk much, and he did help me find a relief area for Robin. I got on the bus and told the driver where I needed off and turned on blind square to watch the cross streets we were crossing as he drove. Not that I know anything about the city, but I did have what cross streets I needed. I got off and got inside to the desk. I asked if they had a room that would be close to a landmark or something easy for me to find? They did the first down a hall. The person showed me where it was, and I asked to show me where the thermostat was, as well as the soda machine. Once they did that I had pretty much what I needed for now.
I unpacked feeling a bit nervous, because the easy part was over. I am now in a city where I really know where nothing is. Well it can be overwhelming. I did have 2 beers, but I don’t often drink when traveling on my own, because it’s stressful enough. I will probably drink at the hotel bar later, because that’s easy I do not want to drink and have to walk home on the streets that’s not a good idea. Anyway I thought I was staying in Rogers stadium, but I wasn’t. My hotel was a few blocks away. I fed Robin, and went back to the desk to ask where a good spot to take Robin out to the bathroom would be? A girl showed me, and I asked are there any trash cans near so she showed me that too. So far everyone I’ve encountered was really helpful not normal. haha
I left the hotel asking the desk person if my directions were fairly accurate? He said yes. I got out on the street and man it was busy. Robin did so well though it’s why I love her. We walked at are normal pace. It was 64 which in Louisville all week it’s been in the 90’s so I bet it felt really good to her. I just love that feeling of passing people or feeling her somewhat hold up for someone cutting us off, or maybe someone slower. I wish you all could feel that feeling once. Granted I don’t really wish that, because you’d have to be blind but it really is an amazing feeling. The entrance was hard to find exactly or at least know if I was on track. I heard people going off to my right so I did the same. I found a ball park worker thankfully, and asked him for assistance to my seat. he radioed someone, and so I waited. A lady named Monica came and showed me to my seat. She gave me her cell number and said if I needed anything I could text her which blew me away. I’ve gone to several bakl parks, and no one has ever done that. Basically usually once they get you to your seat you have to either ask a fan to give you some directions or find an usher. I sat down and just listened to the ball park. It’s my favorite time because I try to hear as much as I can.
About the third inning I wanted a hotdog, but wasn’t going to bother Monica, so I stood up and an usher quickly approached me. It was a little weird, but I welcomed it, because honestly I would rather have people be to helpful rather than act as if I didn’t exist. I have to worry about so many things if someone makes it a bit easier than fine by me like Mel said I have nothing to prove to anyone. I followed the usher and got a hotdog it was nothing that stood out, but I do enjoy a great ball park hotdog.
The game was amazing. I’ve been lucky to see great players, but I really enjoyed watching Adam, and Jose. The Jays had a no hitter going in to the 8th which was cool I was excited because I was witnessing history. It wasn’t meant to be though and the Orioles broke it up in the 8th. It ended up being 5-4 and a really good game. I loved the atmosphere of the park. I engaged with a few fans around me, but mainly tonight I kept to myself. When I stood up to get my hotdog some people said oh theres a dog here? It always makes me feel good when someone didn’t know Robin was even there.
Leaving I didn’t have to call Monica she came back and assisted me out. Once I got back on the sidewalk I made my way to a sports bar, and got a burger. It was kind of loud in there, so I didn’t stay long. I made my way back to the hotel, and got in to my room. I took Robin off harness, and we played for a bit. they had these long pillows I think you put them under your butt or legs but anyway I took them and robin would try to jump on it while I swung it. She had fun with it I don’t know what made me even do that.
Day one was successful so tomorrow I am going to the aquarium, ball game, and then a brewery. I’m excited, and I will write part two and hopefully give you an understanding what it’s like traveling. I’ve not done well with this, because things I do naturally now I don’t think is important to say. I didn’t bring a jacket which may have been a mistake. It’s crazy how fast your body reacts to heat change. I couldn’t sleep so I woke up at 4 and started writing. Robin is sleeping next to me it’s a king bed, so she got up here and curled up by my legs. So quick update I couldn’t figure out why my texts are not sending I just did because when I got my Sim card from a Canadian provider I have a new phone number in Canada. My American things are not working. I researched Verizon data plan and it was crazy expensive this I have to get a data for around $25.