Don’t worry I haven’t forgot about you guys on the blog. Sorry I’ve been busy well that’s kind of a lie more like lazy at night. I’ve been going home falling asleep at like 7 then waking up about 11, and then I can’t sleep for a few hours. I watched American Sniper last night, and liked it. I also saw Tayler Swift on Tuesday for the first time and of course I loved that. I was a little out of my element, because I’m pretty sure I may have been the oldest single person there, but I just shook it off. A girl behind me kept screaming the entire time like this awful high pitch shrill I think I might just be getting to old for that kind of stuff.
I started a video blog on my Facebook which I’m having mixed emotions about. On one hand I love it because I’m broadcasting again, but on the other hand I’m broadcasting again. With writing I can make a point and really bring you in when your broadcasting it’s harder to do that. I had some critics that thought I was angry. Maybe I was. I don’t think I’m angry about things just more frustrated. I sent the video to my friends Denny and Opie 2 people who’ve been around radio for a long time asking them if I was over thinking the response. Denny said being blind himself he could see where I was coming from, but someone who isn’t familiar which is like 99% of the world may not understand. Opie just said I’ve made progress from my first to second, and he was glad to see I was getting back in to broadcasting of any kind real helpful Opie thanks. Hahaha
I would never change anything about myself and I don’t really think about not being able to see. It’s more in moments like I’ve stated here before like a wedding day or kids being born etc… Being blind is all I’ve ever known, so if they said to me tomorrow we could do something that brings back light perception do you want to do it? I don’t think I would. The cancer I had destroyed so much it would be an invasive surgery, and as far as any restoring sight at this point they have nothing significant. For those who have some and it restores a bit they are really just grasping on to what they can get. That might sound mean but truthful. I’d have to learn everything over, because I know something by touch but not by sight if that makes since.
In college Ethan, Whitney, and I had a conversation about how I don’t belong with one group of people that I can get along with all most anyone. That’s pretty true still today. I like it because it makes things interesting, but sometimes keeps you from truly belonging anywhere. I was talking with a football player once from Ball State and he told me Sweetness that was my nickname back then. Anyway he said you’re the first blind person I’ve met. I’m 22 and that trips me out. I think we have to remember at times and it can be hard that I might be the only blind person you’ve seen or are friends with. In the video cast I talked about someone calling me amazing, and I was referring to a trip I made to Walmart on Tuesday to pick up some allergy medication. I went to the customer service desk and waited on assistance like normal. When the lady came up to assist me to pick up a few items I needed this lady comes up and says I wanted to tell you that you amaze me. I didn’t really know how to respond. I said thank you. In my mind I was thinking I’m just shopping for allergy medication I is not doing anything great. Then later on after complaining about it on the video cast I thought to myself I don’t know what’s going on in that woman’s mind. Maybe she was losing sight, or a family member was. People’s perceptions especially in the older peoples realm is so convoluted. I get it though. Anyway maybe I was some inspiration to her so maybe I shouldn’t let every little thing bother me, and see things from other sides I try to, but when you’re getting allergy medication I guess the last thing I expect is to be told I’m amazing.
Mel was telling me today her and her husband were talking about my dating life and the crazy things that have happened. I think what frustrates me the most is that people look at you and go okay this is what you can’t do, but they don’t stop and think what can you do for me? True I’m not going to be the guys that you’ll watch run a NASCAR race, but that doesn’t mean I can’t provide something else for you. I think as humans were taught to find a specific set of traits. For men they want that supermodel type or a woman who does “women” things. I’ve talked to men who are threatened when a woman is the bread winner, and might not cook for example. I’ve talked about how not being able to drive can bug me I think because it’s often associated with me anyway as the man thing to do. I think that’s what makes it hard at times. Even being somewhat successful it hasn’t really helped it just brings crazier people knocking. What I mean by crazy is not someone you want to have a family with.
I think that’s why I wouldn’t want to see honestly. I think if I could just see and see the change in how people view me would irritate me so much I would withdraw and be depressed. It sucks to be looked over or not taken serious for something just because I’m blind now, but I can be happy at the end of the day. Most people have to get tattoos or something else to stand out I can just be me. I don’t know how to fix the problem I just think it should be addressed, and if I don’t talk and yell about it who will? I’m not angry I just want to see some change in perception.
Finally tonight my facebook friends will be treated to something special. I’ve never videoed this before, but tonight I will put a demonstration of me using echo location up. I wish I could put it here, but I’d have to pay $100 for that. I love you, but not that much. Maybe somehow I can link to it, because I’m excited to show how it works to people. I’ve never demonstrated it at all. Basically echo location is where you click your tongue against the top of your mouth making a clicking sound. With that sound you can hear it bounce off of things to gage things. For example I can tell how tall a ceiling is, or how much space I have between cars when I’m walking. When I used to live at my last apt and ones before that I’d never carry my cane outside I would just use echolocation and navigate. It works really well for me, and scientists are just now starting to research it. I saw a study in the Canadian press where they are studying blind people’s brains that use it I would do it if they pay. Look for that video tonight.


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