Unlike Mississippi State I know my place king of the threes

Earlier today I was discussing how Mississippi State isn’t a 4. They’re more like a 16 to me. Yes they’ve won some big games, but Kentucky hung in with them, and let’s face it Kentucky is improved, but they’re no Georgia or Alabama. I feel like sometimes teams get a hire ranking, and I think they should just know there roll. For example I know I’m not Bruno Mars or anything. I’m like a really strong 3, but when I start thinking I’m a 4 I get in to trouble. I have a real winning personality, but my circle tummy brings me down.

Anyway this is November, so I thought I would give thanks to a few things. Number one is my Robin. The past 6 years have been great, and real fast. I think of her as like my daughter, because she goes everywhere with me. I don’t know at this point if I’ll get another dog, but having her has truly been amazing and I wouldn’t trade it. She makes me feel more comfortable in larger crowds, and confidence. One story I haven’t told here yet is when I first got her I wasn’t sure we would work well together. It took her a long time to warm up to me in class. I remember I’d lie on the floor and she would scoot as far away from me as she could. When I came home with her I finished up college, and started looking for a job. It took me a year but that’s a different story. One night I laid down on the floor feeling defeated, because I had a job with Apple but because of things not being accessible they didn’t hire me. I had just gotten home from Denver from a bad interview. Things weren’t going well. Robin lies next to me, and put her paws around my neck in a hug. She’s never done it again, but that moment I think out of everything stands out as the day I felt we connected as a team. I’m often annoyed about how strangers think she is the brains of everything. People often say I bet she does a lot for you? I don’t really know what that means. Honestly I’ve had her 6 years, and that phrase still just bothers me. Do you mean be my eyes? Sure she does do a lot of seeing for us. Overall she is like the ship, and I’m the captain. I saw that analogy somewhere and liked it.

I’m thankful for being allowed the freedom to try anything I want. I’ve been researching heavily blind people in foreign countries and they do not have the same abilities as we do here. They may be told you’re going to be a masseuse and that’s the only choice you have. In other countries blind people are still shunned from a lot of society, and not given opportunity to thrive. I think it’s frustrating here in America, because so many blind people are living in poverty who is college educated and capable to do things, but people as a whole don’t really understand yet. It’s easy in this age to say we are all equal but that isn’t true. If I go to an interview regardless my education or skills I’d bet a majority of the time I will be not picked because sighted people put themselves in a place where they can’t picture how we can work. I have friends for many of years who still don’t get it. I have family who I’ve known my entire life that doesn’t get it. It’s why I took losing Ethan so hard, because he was one that just got it. I left Robin when I went to Green Bay and when we went to the Superbowl events downtown Indianapolis I never had my cane and his wife and him never made me feel uncomfortable. I’m grateful for those experiences, because for every negative one I try and remember positive ones.

I know lately maybe like the last 6 months or so I’ve been a bit more isolated. Staying at my house feels better than going out. Recently I’ve been attempting to go out, but I’m finding it difficult. At my house know one judge me or I don’t have to fumble around or live up to anything if that makes sense. I used to think it was just my new house, but I’m not sure if it’s not some sort of depression or something. When I can’t control the environment, or am outside my box I’m a bit more nervous than I used to be. I hate feeling like that, but I think recently I’ve felt different than I used to on how people view blind people and it bothers me. I’m sure I just think too much.

Last Friday night I was coming home in a cab, and we stopped and picked a lady up in a wheelchair. She was coming from the rodeo. The driver got out and let her out at her home. He got back in and I said its cold out there isn’t it? His response was I just don’t understand. I said what? She was at the rodeo with no man and alone for 5 hours, and she’s in a wheelchair. I tuned him out after that, but I was like why does it matter if she has a man or if she’s in a wheelchair? I’ll just never really understand. She was older, but my thought when I said hello to her was she is out doing something and that’s great. I don’t know why she was in a wheelchair maybe she had cancer or was in an accident but whatever the reason I was happy for her and don’t know why it really matters to him. Maybe it was a culture thing but was pretty dismayed.

I’m happy with apple as well for really working hard to fix issues with the IOS 8 software. When it first came out the tone your phone makes when dialing would get stuck and you’d have to restart the phone to get it to quit sometimes. Automated systems were a big pain. They’ve since fixed this which took a month. but I think blind people get frustrated because if that were happening to sighted people Apple would be all over the news for it. For us no press and we had no even time frame of a fix. Again I commend Apple for everything they’ve done just interesting to see how were viewed against the normal market. Take for example say when sighted people used the phone and a number held and didn’t let you keep going because you heard a tone I’m sure that fix would have been out in about 2 days if not faster.

We got are first snow recently, and Robin really is loving it outside. I really do like seeing her run around the yard, and I’m thankful I could fulfill that promise I made to myself that I would get her a yard one day.

Recently I went on a ride around Kentucky to do some things, and we were just driving and I had this feeling of sadness, because I couldn’t see the landscaping. I’ve never really experienced this much before, but I hated it. My friend Denny who lost his sight when he was 8 tells me that he goes through having those feelings a lot. Since I’ve never really seen anything I never gave thought to it, but I could smell the outside air, and just wondered what it would look like. I had a similar experience when I went to Arizona. Really for me the country feels the same especially with chain restaurants Louisville feels the same as Indianapolis. Once and a while I will get an acoustic difference like Chicago really is windier, or how I experienced snow thunder in Denver. I think people can be different. Overall I find Louisville much friendlier to walk around than I did in Indy or Muncie. On the other hand when I go to a store I find Indiana to be much better at than Louisville for the most part.

I went to the Kentucky game last night. I’ve been real fortunate to be able to go to a lot of different sporting events over the years. People ask me if I am for Louisville or Kentucky. I tend to be Louisville, but since I moved here later I can watch both. Kentucky fans annoy me more, but I don’t mind watching them play. I really like listening to Mat Jones lately someone I didn’t like forever, but he has grown on me. I will say this about him in an era where local talent is hard to find I give him props for sticking out and being different from your normal radio show. I hate having to listen to someone in Washington who has no connection to me in Louisville for laughter.

Three pages I really don’t know what I said here or if it is even worth posting, but those are my thoughts. I like to be as honest as I can some parts are harder to write about than others, because I’m going through them, but I want to be honest.

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