Cancer and since when the hell did winter become a battle?

Earlier this week I wrote a blog about what I’d be doing this weekend, or maybe I post that on Facebook hell I don’t remember. Maybe I should start that over. i’ve been wanting to get into production on the radio side of things for a while I just love radio in general. A contact I made in Milwaukee about three years ago named Carl and I have been exchanging emails on how to become or where to start with production. He offered me an opportunity to come to Green Bay, and partake and doing production for the game tonight. I’m just not ready to go back to Green Bay yet someday I will but not this season. On Thursday I woke up at three pretty nervous, so I called Opie at that time of the morning I usually have two options for friends to call either Denny or Opie. I told him I was feeling some anxiety about going to Green Bay and how I just wasn’t ready even though it was a great opportunity. He said to me don’t worry about it if it stresses you out don’t do it. He said at this point anything I do with radio is secondary until it becomes my primary just stay happy.

My second option was I was going to take a road trip which I decided against, because I didn’t know the person all that well. So that left me with what am I going to do with my weekend? On Friday I was flipping through the radio when I landed on the Bobby V show. Bob wasn’t there, but I heard about a story that instantly made me realize what I needed to do. Bellarmine was got the approval to start Patrick McSweeney. If you’re not local and Louisville you may not of seen the story. Patrick has battled cancer since five years old, and coach Davenport, met him at a basketball camp. his dream was to play college basketball and today that dream came true for him. i’ve been to a lot of sporting events, and in my lifetime have seen some amazing things but today is exhibition game for me was maybe one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seen in my life. In life we often focus on the negative but when people like coach Davenport and Coach Pitino work together to make a kids dream come through by having to clear it with the NCAA is pretty remarkable.

In December I went to the Kentucky Louisville game and Lexington with a guy named Kevin who is battling cancer. Myself had cancer and is the reason I’m blind Kevin is in a wheelchair. Kevin is a big Kentucky fan, so I called him on Friday and asked if you would like to come up and go to a real arena? I have to get my digs in early because that team in Lexington looks to be special. He said he would look at trying to find a ride, and was able to. The only memory I have from today’s game other than conversations with Kevin is from Patrick and Chris Jones scoring 10 points right away. The moment both made me smile and brought a tear to my eye at the same time.

Kevin and I talked about some of his recent treatments as well as my own. Regarding my eyes I don’t really remember the operation because I was a baby. I do remember going to Riley Children’s Hospital would seem like a lot when I was a child. I hated the damn car ride it seem like my house to Indianapolis took forever. I hated going, because some person was going to mess with my eyes meaning take them out and I hated the way people would forcefully do that. when I got older I didn’t mind it because I could do it myself, but when I was a kid I hated people messing with them. My doctor used to have to tell me stories about Thurman Thomas while taking them out to distract me or someone would sit on me. After eight years I was out of remission which meant I only had to go to Riley once every year until I was 18. as I got older the trip Scott shorter which was nice. Another memory I have from the hospital was they would stick me in a x-ray machine for like an hour at a time. I hated it because I was separated from my family. I remember I would cry by myself and the x-ray machine, and some nurse would try and tell me funny nursery rhymes.

The worst memory I have of all of my childhood would be this one. someone in my family thought it would be a great idea or maybe it was the blind school that I should go down and attend the blind school for some sort of preschool. my mom took me down on a Saturday and I think I was again somewhere around four or five. she left me and stay with a relative. It’s really embarrassing to talk about this now but I hated being with strangers and not having my mom. I remember them trying to tell me things would be okay but I knew it just wasn’t normal. Thank God they took me home and I never really had to go back. I hated that place. I did go back to a camp later my childhood, and it was okay I hated it when I was a young kid.

When I was going through my cancer I was only the 75th case at Riley Children’s Hospital that they had seen. My mom tells me that the doctors really wanted to just perform experiments on me that they didn’t feel they could save me. One dr. decided that he thought he could do an operation where he would have to remove one of my eyes. They realize though unfortunately the cancer had grown too much and was in both eyes so they had to remove everything optic nerve and all. They then put in an artificial muscle that is red it controls the movement of my fake eyes today. The same muscles have been in since I was born I hear they can go bad and that’s a painful operation I’m keeping my fingers crossed they stay healthy. Talking to Kevin today it’s funny you can be cancer but it’s a hell of a fight and it usually take something from you. This life has been crazy especially this year. In the past month I’ve question a lot of things, like why do things happen a certain way? I don’t really have any answers so sorry if you were hoping for one. Going back through my bouts with depression and there have been a lot from not being able to drive to just the way people can treat you. if you read this blog it regularly you’ll see I still struggle with taking my dog places or getting a ride things that into thousand 14 blind people shouldn’t struggle with. The unemployment rate is alarming and it’s just brushed aside and every organization or people are tired of hearing about it. Even myself have created stereotypes of what blind people can or can’t do but the truth of the matter is that it is up to the individual. What is great about people is we’re not robots we are not programmed to just deal with one type of situation. And times of tragedy we come together and moments of weakness we find strength and above all we persevere.

A lot of times people fear or feel sorry for people with disabilities. It often seems to me that I spend most of my time wondering why people can’t just see me as normal. It was nice today talking about this with Kevin because he himself to said since being in a wheelchair people talk to him as he were a child and it’s hard for him to find that normalcy. Most of the time when we talk it’s about basketball or how he is feeling or what treatment he’ll have to do next but the thing I admire most is how we have that connection even though it’s different it’s the same cancer changed us. thank you to Louisville and Bellarmine for allowing such a moment for Patrick McSweeney and for allowing his dreams to come true and may be showing some others dreams are still possible.

I saw this headline Fischer to announce snow and ice ‘battle plan’, 10:16 PM. Isn’t the plan the same since I don’t know 2004? People act as if snow and ice never happen. why is this a headline? it really should just be Fisher says salt and trucks are ready for first snow, but I digress.

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