Sometimes I crack myself up the subject just made me laugh. I’m watching the Toronto Blue Jays St. Louis Cardinals game and my thought is I really want to go to Toronto to watch a game. Here are my reasons. One there is a hotel and centerfield! I repeat there is a hotel in centerfield. Could it get any easier for a blind person to find a hotel after a game? Seriously the thought of that is just incredible. This means I really could get drunk and have no excuse to finding home. Okay I’m just kidding a little maybe. Second I think they have bungee jumping at the ballpark or pretty close I have to do this. They showed a picture and announcer commented but I’m not exactly sure where it is I will do research.
I put in a offer on Wednesday and it was excepted Wednesday night so I will be moving to a house by July 12 hopefully. It is a condo but looks more like a townhouse to me with an upstairs with the bedrooms are downstairs. I’m excited for Robin because she’ll have a lot of room to patrol and also we can go outside and it has a privacy fence so she doesn’t have to be on a leash all the time. I had a little buyer’s remorse but overall I’m excited. I got a patio table and chairs so I can eat outside or sit outside with some friends. Yesterday was pretty busy with getting the home inspection set up moving my U-verse and other things. My next post will probably be a bit of an attack on how annoying I think the technology companies are. I’m pretty happy with the fact that I’m buying a house. Growing up I couldn’t come up with a better dream for myself with how things are going. After college and struggling for a job I wasn’t sure what the future will hold obviously there’s a gamble involved with buying a house but I feel it’s the right time. When I get near a computer I do want to write a better blog post about my observations of house finding being blind.
I debated on what I wanted to say or how I wanted to address the next topic. I told Erica yesterday that I wanted to take a break after some things had gone down. I really think it’s the best thing for both of us. I’ve reread her blog post a few times and while it’s painful I struggle searching for how things go from being beautiful to ugly so quickly? I really don’t have an answer, but it seems to be a repeated offense in my life. Since high school I’ve not had a great record of dating a lot of ups and downs mainly downs. I’m sure 99.9% of those things are my fault, but you try and change and make adjustments along the way to better yourself for the next shot of love. I find myself today and a bit of a funk but what I’m about to say is truly how I feel. I don’t know if it’s a blind thing or my imagination but I know that dating has been difficult for me. I know people mean well but sometimes I will write a blog post and they will message me and try to give me advice on how to feel better. To be honest nothing I’ve written about really gets to me and they seem depressing but I’m just trying to write life from my perspective. I’m not depressed and nor do I live life unhappily because I can’t see but on a daily basis I encounter people that just don’t understand or can’t figure out how to interact with me. I like to bring those things up because that’s the only way things maybe get better.
Where I’m heading with this all is I think dating and love is not meant for me. I definitely have a soft side that people can take advantage of and I Trustway to easily even when I put up some walls in the past few relationships. And my past relationships I would torture myself by going back to them multiple times and being burnt multiple times but this time I will not do so. I have grown in that aspect. It’s weird for me to keep failing so badly in this aspect of my life that I honestly feel like I’m tired of failing so how do you change this? I can change it by not dating anyone or allowing myself to have a relationship. Sometimes I get a little angry with how much money I’ve spent and wasted on relationships in my life because it is a lot. I really could see myself just loving one person or having that best friend in your life as a wife but that doesn’t seem to want to come to me. I have to be careful here because I don’t really want to bring up a one-sided affair so I will just stop there. All I can tell you is I’m pretty tired of being hurt and disappointed by love.
I’m a pretty positive person so I will in this on a positive note I don’t really have one right now. The Minnesota twins just signed Kenry morale us my initial thought why? Maybe bringing a veteran then we’ll do something for the club I really don’t know what their thought processes on that. Anyway I will update you a lot in the next week it’s been a little sporadic lately but stay tuned.