Sir there will be no sleeping in the strip club!

I will step back in time to tell you a story, because it kind of goes along with what I’ve been talking about recently. I’ve been debating with this story about four days now whether or not to post it and I decided why not? It was my friends bachelor’s party I will leave him nameless. We started the evening at Buffalo wild wings where we ate dinner and had a few beers. We then went to a place downtown that is known for having several different beers. I was in college so not in Louisville. At the beer place we started talking and it was decided that we were to go to a strip club, but no one knew where it was. That is where I come in! You give me a few beers I just want the party to keep rolling. I mean if you can’t have fun what is the point of life? I walked up to a guy asked him where the strip club was he told me so I gave him like $15. I remember this part, because my friend eventually walked up to me and said stop paying him. I remember calling a cab and this weird 16-year-old kid being in there.

When we got to the strip club the kids said something like say hi to my mom which was a little awkward. I really don’t know why he was in the cab! Anyway we get out and get ready to go into the strip club. Now I want to stop for one second and explain to you that this was going to be a dream of mine come true. Being blind I didn’t necessarily have the opportunity to see a bunch of naked women or women in thongs. I can’t just Google. I was so pumped for this no matter what the women really looked like. The next hour and a half or two hours was probably the biggest letdown of my life. Alright maybe that’s an exaggeration but I went from being like a kid in a candy shop to feeling like I took a cold shower. Guys you know what I’m talking about. I did get a lap dance but all I got to see was pretty much Nubbie knees. During the lap dance she was probably like a foot away from my face. Yeah those string toys they have for cats when you dangle it above their head that’s what it was like for me. And life I’ve learned that it’s better for me to learn by actually doing something. Most things good come from a relationship. I remember telling the story to a girl I was dating so she actually gave me a real lap dance you know where I got to read her braille. I don’t know why I decided to tell you that story right then but anyway moving on with the night. I swear to you I get more play at Hooters. Do you know that little shoulder lean that the Hooters girls do when taking order that’s more excitement that I got to the strip club. Anyway so about 15 minutes in I’m pretty bored.

The music sucked, I couldn’t see any women, and it was trashy people from my city so I was ready to go home. However cited people were not. I drink some Bud Light and got tired so I decided to fall asleep. This apparently pissed off the bouncer, because one of the guys kept hitting me in the shoulder to wake me up. I would drink a little more Bud Light and fall asleep again. Then I get hit in the shoulder. The process repeated probably about 13 or 14 times. The way I viewed it I wasn’t being a pervert or loud or even annoying I was just bored and wanted to sleep. We finally left and I decided I was tired and wanted to go home I was dog sitting for another person so I needed to get the dogs outside as well. What happened next I really can’t explain except this kind of sums up most of my drunken adventures when I’ve had a lot to drink I just want to sleep. I remember taking out the dog I was dog sitting for and going back in for Robin. I remember her going to the bathroom, but then I must of gotten tired and I went backwards towards a tree and laid down. Robin laid in my arms. I remember a group of people gathered around me unsure of what to do I’m sure. My friend happen to get out of the cab because he forgot something and he saw me and got me inside.

I’ve never been to a strip club since then and have had no desire to go back to one. I don’t really know what I should of expected but I thought there might be a little more braille headed my way. Maybe a little braille bouncing on my face I don’t know. Haha it was just so far from my dream it was like a nightmare.


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