Blind paranoia

Six years ago when my niece was born all I heard about while being at the hospital was how her eyes were not going to work and she would be blind. Now back then I didn’t know how to cope with things so I drank a lot and nearly died of alcohol poisoning. Fast forward six years this morning I got a call from my mom and she’s telling me about how my nephew is having trouble breathing but above all of that was he is not tracking her movement with his eyes. If the little guys on oxygen because he isn’t breathing very well which is more important at this very second getting oxygen or site? Well apparently it was site. I kind of went off because I’m so fucking tired of having to deal with is the baby going to be blind? With my niece it was nonstop for three weeks about how she wasn’t tracking movement the same sort of conversation I had today. Guess what she can fucking see great! The kid is one goddamn-week-old fuck. Sorry I’m a little angry right now. I tried keeping myself is far away from this situation as possible because I knew it would happen again, but at 6 o’clock it’s been thrown in my face again. Hopefully six years later I’ll be able to cope better we’ll see.

And no way do I want my nephew to be blind, but he has more than that to worry about as of right now. If he is blind oh well what can you do shove him back inside? I don’t know if there’s some like blind guilt going on or what this is that they have to throw in my face every fucking time a child is born, but I’m very tired of the whole thing.

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