A few random thoughts.

When I moved to Louisville I knew no one. To meet people I would go to the bar and just try to find a conversation to join. It only lead to dumb questions like the toilette one I told you about earlier. Probably about a year and a half ago things started to change. I met my friend Neil who became like a brother to me. He recently moved to Philadelphia for a job, so I feel like I’m in the same boat as I was a few years ago.

Since my mugging I’m having a harder time trusting people. I was having a difficult time walking alone, but I’ve been working on it. The thing I find hardest about trusting in someone is if they come in my home I have to trust they won’t take anything. It takes me a long time in knowing someone to allow them to come over. I’ve been looking for new circles to get involved with, but it’s been slow going. It can take me a long time before I’ll ask someone if they want to hang out, it’s been the cause of a lot of anxiety for me. I never used to feel this way and I feel I’m becoming more isolated. Here is the thing being blind people either view you as being Superman or retarded. The gray between the two is vary limited. You might think being Superman would be great, but it isn’t. Having people think everything you do is amazing can be tiring. Me personally I put my pants on one leg at a time, but I’m never viewed in that way. I have a hand full of people that get it, but it really makes finding friends a bit difficult.

I’m working on the set backs from being mugged as well. After I nearly jumped my neighbor at the dumpster I decided to go to a psychologist for some advice. It has helped me learn how to deal with the negative that event left me with.

A few years ago in college I started taking pictures. Being blind I never knew what exactly I was taking a picture of, but I enjoyed the fact I could post them to Facebook like anyone else. As the years have gone by I’m getting a bit better. I can upload photos to here for free which I think I will start next week. I’ll call it blind photography. If you happen to log in, and see nothing but a fork you’ll know why. To upload videos or audio I would have to pay 90 dollars or something close to that. I may do that in time, but for now we’ll take small steps.

I am getting nervous about the trip to Arizona as it approaches, because this is my dream job. I have everything set up. I arranged for a bus to pick me up from the airport, and I’ll take the train most everywhere else. It’s been a while since using a train independently. I love traveling though, because I feel like a modern day Lewis and Clark. I’m discovering new things on the fly. they don’t really have braille maps you can view of a city, or if they do I don’t know where I could obtain something like that.

I do remember when I was a kid I had a book that had a picture of every state. They actually had a braille picture raised up where I could feel the shape of each state, and it marked the major cities in each state. I took the book along with me when I went to Kansas City as a kid, and I’d feel the state we were in and get an idea of how it was shaped. It was really good for learning what states border what as well.

Alright this is not the most informative post, but I couldn’t sleep so I decided to write a bit. Thank you to all that read hopefully along the way you’ll just see that while I do things differently at times were pretty much the same. That’s why I try to be so vivid with my thoughts, and you’ll stop seeing me as Superman but rather just a man. If you thik I’m retarded that’s cool with me too.


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